to not like parents justifying undesirable behaviour with

[kolacubes]

but that's normal for the age of child, or gender of child.

It does not then make it acceptable.

Yes some children may do that, but the vast majority do not. Because the parents don't allow it as it is undesirable.

Or unfortunately please accept their is a problem with your child, and the behaviour has been pointed out, to enable you to get assistance, to minimise the behaviour.

I don't get this thread. Other people's naughty children don't wind me up at all. I just think "oh good, it's not just mine then....".

But seriously, what do you expect parents to say? A child who is tantrumming/whinging may be doing so because he is tired. A parent might feel the need to offer an explanation because he or she is conscious of the judgmental looks and glares from - as someone said earlier - the parents of placid little girls or non-crawling babies.

I expect them to do something with said child. Not justify it to another adult, but begin by trying to interact with child.

And not use it as a not doing anything line.

unfortunately,in life,people dont always do what you 'expect' them to do....this doesnt make them any worse or better than you. its the way it is

We should clearly all be lined up and shot.
But not before our poorly behaved offspring, naturally

As with most of my posts in recent days - it depends on the age of the child and the behaviour.

Okay so I've learnt that I shouldn't of had two different points with the same line in one op. I appreciate that i've posted in AIBU and get the negative as well as positive, but I have tried to clarify throughout, which I now understand is called Stealthing, and is not acceptable in mumsnet forums.

But I would post about other posts but I understand you would attack me further, for posting about other posts. I will add to this further and hopefully you'll see what I was meaning, and also see that I realise you think I am being unreasonable, and it is my thought process that needs to be altered not other peoples.

As already mentioned I believe minimising such behaviour would be distraction, interaction etc. But maybe ignoring is the best form, and therefore they are right, and that's where I've been going wrong.

you are unreasonable to type 'shouldn't of had' and I am bu to point that out to you.

That kind of thing annoys me more than children running around. Although that's a different thread and a different board.

Sorry. That was mean of me. Before anybody attacks me, I shouldn't have posted that as this is not the Pedants board.

Oh Kola glad u've learnt a lot!! Think it was the way thread was written tho not what you tried to ask.

FWIW I agree with the not making excuses for behaviour but that some behaviours are age stage thing.

Please do ask more questions if you want I have found being new mysef that in and AIBU the people who agree say no and those who don't can seem like their attacking but they're not (always!).

It just takes all sorts to make the world go round and where would mumsnet and all the baby book authors be if we always got it right?

thanks mumbar.

Well my kids are all quite grown up now, so I think I'm qualified to say that amongst the hundreds of children I have known over the years:

Many, many small boys do run and scream, often simulaneously. It's annoying but entirely, utterly normal. Your son may be slightly abnormal though.

Some 9 year old girls can be rather precocious and smart-mouthed and full of themselves. Just copying their mothers. It's annoying, but normal.

Some children, particularly boys, will struggle with co-ordination. Sometimes they grow out of it, or just learn to adapt around it. It's worrying and upsetting if it's your child, especially if other smug mothers are keen to pint it out, but it's (fairly) normal - at least not rare, and besides, they usually turn out to be brilliant at something else instead.

Kola, thanks for apologising about the co-ordination etc,

my daughter, 2.5, is actually pretty well behaved.

When she does kick off, have a tantrum or act out, I can guarantee 99% of the time she will be TIRED & in need of a nap!

We don't 'accept' that our 3 (nearly 4) year old DS sometimes runs around shouting in situations where that's not allowed. We do reprimand for that, but 3 years old develpmentally don't remember things like adults do, so there needs to be what feels like a million reminders of how to behave in certain situations before they will take it in.
My DS is active, and sometimes inappropriate, but is also one of the kindest people I know...so obviously, he's not completely hopeless!

I think you are being a bit judgmental All children can display this type of behavior, children are not perfect all the time. Perhaps the parents were embarrassed and felt that they had to justify their children's behavior in front of you. You don't know that they didn't look to resolve/reprimand their children when you were not there.

I especially felt for the parent with the 5 year old boy. she may be very sensitive about her sons lack of co-ordination and perhaps she was looking for a bit of re-assurance not ridicule.

It must be so nice to be a perfect parent.

As for boys running around screaming, I actively encourage that with my DS. It is a healthy way to let off steam. It does depend on where it is though, I'll give you that.

TUARAG- piss off. THAT is bulling, hth!

When my son is being a little sod bit hyper, I really appreciate it when other adults help divert his attention rather than sitting back and looking judgey on us both.