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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

barbie doll at age 3;6?

73 replies

NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:09

LO and DP just arrived home, LO grinning like a cheshire cat, munching jelly tots (deep breath but no comment) clutching a "barbie doll" (well not a real one but all the same features with a change of slutty clothes.

How would you react?

I am firstly gobsmacked that he would ever think I would approve and also, DP's defence was pathetic too: before we got in she kept saying "she's a fairy princess" and my reaction has "corrupted" the doll and made it something else.

It has boobs, wears heels and make-up.

I am planning to "lose" this doll in a couple of days, but I am so bloody angry that he would buy in the first place. Lo would never ask or show any interest in such things with me, so I am wondering what father in his right mind, would influence his 3 and a half year old daughter to buy this pariah doll?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 08/05/2010 14:10

LOL I agree with you but you are going to get creamed

belgo · 08/05/2010 14:11
Biscuit
HelenRosie · 08/05/2010 14:12

I'm a feminist. I played with Barbie dolls. I'm not sure a 3 yo would look at a doll and think 'this is what I want to be like when I grow up'. However, she's your child and if you don't want her playing with Barbies then bin the doll.

gingernutlover · 08/05/2010 14:13

my dd has been playing with my old barbies since about that age

they go for naked rides about the house in their topless blue sports car

havent got a problem with it myself

HelenRosie · 08/05/2010 14:15

As an aside, I'd be more concerned that the doll was probably made by a child in a developing country than any possible corruption it might do to my own child's mind.

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:17

I wouldn't be so against naked rides, not a problem with nudity and she's always saying she can#t wait to be "grown up like Mummy" but knee-high boots,crop tops and red-lipstick.

I agree, as a feminist playing with dolls as a child myself had no impact but it's her age! She's just as interested in insects as she is in dolls but I just can't get my head around DP's decision to buy this thing.

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 08/05/2010 14:19

Nancy - take another deep breath....

She will live through it. By 3.5 (and Little Sis 1.5) we had about 15 Barbies (don't ask! LOL), 4 Kens and an assortment of other 'friends'. The girls love them, love me dressing them up, take them to the ball (like cinderella), have sleepovers - they also take them swimming, down the slide, to build huts and generally do stuff.... they do not sit there, enchanted by their boobs or waists sizes.

It didn't stop them playing with any of their other toys, nor their baby dolls.

Pick your battles - this one isn't worth the steam!

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:19

You are probably right - it probably was made it abject conditions -

OP posts:
DecorHate · 08/05/2010 14:21

My dd asked for a Barbie for Christmas at about that age. Peer pressure mainly. She had outgrown them by 6 I would say. I played with Sindys ad a child. It didn't influence my life choices in any way (though did lead me to take up dressmaking as a hobby starting with making new outfits for Sindy)

gingernutlover · 08/05/2010 14:23

eeew no i wouldnt like the knee high boots and hot pants look but cant really see that it would corrupt her mind as such.

I guess I am lucky that out set of barbies (if they are ever lucky enough to be dressed!) end up in the handmade clothes my mum and nan made for them LOL.

I wouldnt worry too much, I'm sure she's bright enough to realise barbie is a doll and that reall gorwn up ladies dont look like that.

However, I would draw the line at bratz dolls and so I can see where you are coming from.

If it were me, I would get a ken doll too and some decent clothes, they are excellent for practising those muscles in the fngers with all the little poppers etc and it encourages them to be creative.

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:23

yeah maybe you are right. ChippingIn. I remember having cindy dolls from about age 6, but as an adult I have always vowed I wouldn't buy that shit. If someone gives her the dolls second hand that's another issue (we get lots of seconds from extended family and friends) but it's DP that I can't quite believe.
Ok, deep breaths...

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 08/05/2010 14:25

I played with dolls as a kid too - although I would say personally it did inform some of my assumptions about gender - assumptions I grew up to challenge, but nonetheless I don't think it was a positive component of my childhood

I would have no qualms about banning this stuff if I had girls (mind you I ban guns and combat clothing too, which makes me a bit bit loopy in some people's eyes)

none of my friends' girls play with barbies or my little ponies or bratz or whatever - it's NOT a necessary part of a normal childhood

and FWIW although we all played with them as kids - I think that within the context of our contemporary cultural climate, where little girls are targeted relentlessly by marketing and are constantly being sold a package of assumptions about femininity, these toys are even MORE toxic.

Greensleeves · 08/05/2010 14:26

my kids have some lovely little wooden dolls with poseable wire limbs and woolly hair, they come with a load of little cotton clothes for dressing - nice bright little shorts and t-shirts etc - not hideously gender-fascist and IMO nothing like a barbie doll

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:26

true, good practice for handwriting later on...

and decent clothes would be less offensive. It was just the whole package that riled me.

It's easy enough to idolise your child and think she has no interest in that stuff. But she's curious, like we all were (I remember having a weird interest in nipple cream and tampons around the age of 4...)

I am also a little sensitive atm -

OP posts:
Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:30

I don't think that's loopy greensleeves. I am a trainee teacher and during golden time on a Friday the children are allowed to use the internet if they wish: I don't allow "dress-up" games (like an online barbie in her scanties), "flirt" games or anything involving weapons or blood.;

OP posts:
saslou · 08/05/2010 14:32

Could've been worse. He could have bought her a Bratz doll

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:34

That would have gone out with the rubbish!

OP posts:
TheShriekingHarpy · 08/05/2010 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

exexpat · 08/05/2010 14:40

I think if you 'lose' the doll, you're just going to end up with a host of replacements a few years further down the line. I really think banning all fashion dolls is just counterproductive - turns them into forbidden fruit. I think the attitudes to body image, gender roles and so on that she picks up from you and other family and friends are really more important.

I remember having Sindy/Pippa dolls as a girl, but by 15 was wearing dungarees and blockading Greenham Common; I don't wear makeup and have never owned a pair of high heels. So I let my DD have Barbies (mainly from charity shops and sales) from about the age of 3; by five she had a big box of them (as well as several of the Barbie films on DVD - yuck), but by six or seven she had decided that Barbies were stupid and girly, and now at 7.5 she hasn't touched them for months, won't wear anything pink, and is more interested in climbing trees and saving animals than worrying about body image. I did say no to Bratz though....

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:41

Well, Greensleeves did warn me...

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 08/05/2010 14:42
Grin
Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:44

I've not really explored this before: just didn't think I'd have to think about it for at least a few more years...she is my firt...

OP posts:
Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:47

Forbidden fruit is not something I want her to hanker after. I get that.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/05/2010 14:48

YABU its only a Barbie doll, not Bratz or anything sinister. You should not place your own adult interpretations on it, your lo sees it as a fairy Princess so a fairy princess it is then!. My now 3.2 year old was bought one when she was 2 for Christmas by my good friend, it was a bit old for her, as the Barbie had earings and she did not have a clue what it was. Now she loves her Barbie and dresses it and undresses it lol.

pigletmania · 08/05/2010 14:49

No the Barbie that was bought for my dd was a proper Barbie with a lovely princess egg blue dress, princess crown and earrings not smutty, but a lo would not look at it in the same way.

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