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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

barbie doll at age 3;6?

73 replies

NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:09

LO and DP just arrived home, LO grinning like a cheshire cat, munching jelly tots (deep breath but no comment) clutching a "barbie doll" (well not a real one but all the same features with a change of slutty clothes.

How would you react?

I am firstly gobsmacked that he would ever think I would approve and also, DP's defence was pathetic too: before we got in she kept saying "she's a fairy princess" and my reaction has "corrupted" the doll and made it something else.

It has boobs, wears heels and make-up.

I am planning to "lose" this doll in a couple of days, but I am so bloody angry that he would buy in the first place. Lo would never ask or show any interest in such things with me, so I am wondering what father in his right mind, would influence his 3 and a half year old daughter to buy this pariah doll?

OP posts:
Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:50

I know, they don't see them the same way.

OP posts:
Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 14:51

Right have just been asked to make some slime, said doll has been abandoned for now.

Feeling a little better...

OP posts:
pigletmania · 08/05/2010 14:53

The shriekingharpy , my dd sees me in the buff with dangling norks, and mummy tummy on display from time to time when outta the shower and stuff, gosh i am corrupting her young innocent mind.

ChippingIn · 08/05/2010 14:54

TheShreikingHarpy - love your post However, having just read that Nancy kind of sees our point and admits she's feeling a little sensitive it might have been better to have saved it for someone really being a twat!!

Nancy - my friends DD aged 2.5 (yes 2.5) came home with this because 'she loved it' (friends DH).... take a look here then instantly forgive your DH!

miso · 08/05/2010 14:55

Your dd lives in world where Barbie dolls exist, at least if you have one in the house you have plenty of opportunity to subvert whatever it is you don't like about it never too young for that.

I get your point about how you wouldn't mind if one turned up 2ndhand but are about dh buying - maybe dd just fell in love with it though?

lily93 · 08/05/2010 14:55

It only gets worse,girls! Starts with Barbie and then at 14 they want to be Barbie! The music videos around at the moment are awful in the way they portray woman and the girls I know seem to think this is OK as they are in 'control'My own daughter included.
Saying that though they are all confident,clever ,ambitious high achievers ,with respect for themselves although this sounds like a contradiction!
I agree you pick your battles and experience has shown me if you make something taboo it just increases their curiosity(within reason of course)

pigletmania · 08/05/2010 14:56

I meant the fake Barbie with hotpants, knee high boots, lo would just see a barbie with shorts and boots and thats it, not the connotations behind it.

ChippingIn · 08/05/2010 14:56

and actually - IRL - she looks even worse!! She had some really tarty nice gold jewellery too and loads more make-up...... for a 2.5 year old. (I have also just seen the PRICE of it).

TheShriekingHarpy · 08/05/2010 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ChippingIn · 08/05/2010 15:01

Shreiking - save it somewhere though - it's a good one!!!

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 15:15

No worries there Shrieking I do have a sense of humour, honest

OP posts:
ShellingPeas · 08/05/2010 15:24

The attire the Barbie came with will be immaterial in the long run. Ours all end up naked, with hair like a bird's nest. The clothing and accessories disappear up the hoover regularly and are never seen again.

ifancyashandy · 08/05/2010 16:10

Tricky - I wasn't allowed them and was DESPERATE for one. I seriously wanted to look like that when I was between 14 and 35 20. Feminist mother said NO.

However, now I have DD, I completely agree with her. Wouldn't want mine to have one or a Bratz. Hegemony ... it starts young....

flibbertigibbert · 08/05/2010 16:43

When I was growing up, Barbies were banned by my very right-on feminist mother, which of course made me even more obsessed with very girly things and resentful of my mum and the feminst books and chemistry sets she bought me.

Let your DD have a Barbie if she really wants one. She'll probably get fed up of it after a while, whereas taking it off her will cause far more issues.

foureleven · 08/05/2010 17:01

I didnt want my daughter to have barbies, brats etc but she wanted them so she has some. I dont encourage it and I suggest other things for her to play with.

infact having just read 'living dolls' I disagree with them even more strongly but the thing is, i dont think it will do any good to enforce rules like - no barbies - on her.

She lives in a home where men and women are equal, mummy is a ballbreaking confident and strong women who can do anything a man can

Barbie can try to opress my daughter but she wont win!!

sleepingsowell · 08/05/2010 17:36

I think at this age it's easy enough NOT to introduce them. They do promote a certain type of 'female-ness' imo which is an unhealthy example.

A 3 year old will be just as happy playing with a basic, cloth doll so why on earth would you bother to introduce other stuff? Plenty of time later to fight this particular battle!

Ellokitty · 08/05/2010 18:23

I'm guessing your DD is your PFB??

Just wait until you have your second - my DD2 has been obsessed with Barbie since she was 2.

However, with my Eldest, I thought she was too young for barbie at 3, but now DD1 is 6, and a lot of her friends are starting to outgrow barbie, instead they are now preferring to play with their Nintendo DSs, and ironically, I'm wishing my Dd1 would hold on to her barbie!! Now that is something I thought would never happen .

But, in the bigger picture - is it really a big deal? She will almost inevitably get to play with barbie, even if you don't have them at your house, she'll probably play with them at friends' houses or pre school etc.

Cannotfindaname · 08/05/2010 19:26

Haven't read all the replies but YABU.

Its a doll ffs, who cares if it has boobs. Female dolls often do. If you don't like the outfit, buy a different one. My barbies had ball gowns and I loved making them look like princesses.

You are being very precious and quite ridiculous. Bratz are far worse.

emsyj · 08/05/2010 19:30

I had tons of barbies when I was little and they were my very favouritest thing ever. I have still managed to grow up reasonably intelligent and educated and have a professional career as a lawyer. On that basis I think YABU, but agree with Cannotfindaname, Bratz are far far worse. I wouldn't have those in my house gah!

I do have a penchant for fake tan and make-up though, perhaps I have Barbie to thank for that .

Adair · 08/05/2010 19:39

Dd has some of those Disney princess barbie dolls. I bought them for her .
I have fond memories of playing with them as a young girl. For me, it's about variety - so we used to have a variety of different size/shape/brand dolls that all played together (n their multicultural barbie-esque world ). I am not sure I ever linked Barbie with being a 'real' woman tbh. ANd don't think i ever thought she was beautiful. Preferred Skipper (bigger waist, smaller boobs. still tiny).

And of course, it's also about what we tell them. So I have already said 'ooh, that's funny. They don't really look REAL, do they dd? Look at mummy - she doesn't have a teeny-tiny waist.' just as I have tried to suggest that Aurora might be a vet when she grows up cos she talks to the animals so much .

I'm happy dd is playing with them creatively - she's already making clothes for them... and fins .

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 22:53

Thinking about it, can't really see how Bratz are particularly worse than Barbies, but that's me.

Agree with Sleepsowell: it's easy NOT to introduce at this age, none of her friends have them, they don't have them at pre-school she has plenty of other types of doll etc...still the doll has been bought, so will have to take some good advice from Adair, it's all about the talking. And we talk about everything.

OP posts:
MillyR · 08/05/2010 22:59

I did read somewhere that age 3-6 is the target market for Barbie.

Original poster
NancysGarden · 08/05/2010 23:14

Shows how much I know

OP posts:
MilaMae · 08/05/2010 23:29

I loath them. My dd is 5 and I never bought her one. I hate the celeb culture/appearance obsession thing they represent,the figure dimensions and yes the hooker clothes.

My mother gave her all my old Sindy stuff which was a revelation-she had a proper sensible non candypink track suit,a matinee jacket and absolutely no hooker clothes. I let her keep it and a Barbie a friend of mine gave as a joke to annoy me. She also got given a Disney princess (vom) which I also let her keep.

I've never added to her collection and she's never asked although she did ask for a witch doll to terrorize Snow White which I eventually found after much searching(real gap in the market) in a pagan shop.

Anyhow I digress.Let her keep it but make sure she has far nicer dolls. My dd has a gorgeous Gotz doll with a little girl figure that she adores and a cloth doll so Barbie et al rarely get a look in. Has worked a treat.

Adair · 09/05/2010 08:27

Yup, Milamae. WE much preferred Sindys, I think all the Barbies (and cheap versions) became the old ladies/mother figures in our games. Definitely no aspirations to look like them. THough the Princesses are more appealing, I will concede. I am pretty sure we would have made a Bratz doll the witch if we had had them.

Not sure about 'hooker' clothes, I never really thought about it. But again, ours had such a mix of things for all dollies and stuff we'd/mum had made.

Those Gotz dolls are MASSIVe and a bit creepy.

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