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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fed up with people posting the step by step successes of their childs potty training on Facebook, when mine is no way near ready.

51 replies

pigletmania · 07/05/2010 13:36

It really makes me feel grrr and sad that my dd 3.2 is not yet grasping what she needs to do, when is this magic switch going to flick on. She does wees in the toilet/potty if you take her, but is unable to recognise signals when she needs to go and act on them. Makes me feel like I am the only one on this planet with an untrained un ready pre schooler. I expect I am being vvvvvvvu but I had to rant sorry.

OP posts:

said · 07/05/2010 13:37

Hide them?

Original poster

pigletmania · 07/05/2010 13:40

oooooh how do i do that

OP posts:

BoysAreLikeDogs · 07/05/2010 13:41

so take her to the potty/toilet every 30 minutes, use a timer to remind your self

increase her water intake so that she needs to pee more frequently

ignore other folks crowing

scurryfunge · 07/05/2010 13:42

What does it matter what people post on facebook? Facebook is not a tool for judging development....think of Facebook merely as a medium to show off and gossip and you'll never get upset by it.

Mrs1GeneGenie · 07/05/2010 13:42

My friend does similar with her nearly walking baby when mine isn't crawling yet but we also get videos.... drives me round the bend!

BouncingTurtle · 07/05/2010 13:42

My 2.4yo screams "nooooooo" at the potty and then picks it up and throws it.
I know some younger childre who are being potty trained, so I hope you don't mind that I am relieved to see your post!

He is nowhere near ready, and I'd rather wait until he is, no matter how old he is!

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable.

BTW I've been told that if you wait until they tell you they are ready, it's a doddle.

said · 07/05/2010 13:43

Hover near their post on the right and click Hide

waitingforbedtime · 07/05/2010 13:43

Just hover to the right hand side of the status and click on hide when it appears.

I hate this too. Ds was out of nappies at 2.7 or thereabouts but still is in night nappies and will be for ages and ages I imagine. It is the same as people who post ' ds has just eaten ' and I think hmmmmm ds had a sandwich - again! Not their fault though!

Oh and you are NOT the only person.

waitingforbedtime · 07/05/2010 13:44

PS Youll know when she's ready. I hadnt been planning on starting ds but he just asked for teh nappy off and that was it. We tried at 2yrs4m and it was a disaster.

Original poster

pigletmania · 07/05/2010 13:45

Thanks everyone for all the replies, if i take her too frequently to the potty like every half hour dd gets very annoyed and it backfires in my face, so i just do it once every 1.5 hours. Feels like i will be waiting for years lol.

OP posts:

bearcrumble · 07/05/2010 13:47

There's nothing wrong with people being proud of their infant's development. It's fascinating for the parents and close friends and family (but maybe not for everyone, in that case hide their updates or scroll past).

It all evens out in the end - the first walker/talker doesn't always end up the most agile or articulate.

Just enjoy your child, and know that they'll get there in the end. If you stress over toilet training it's not good for you or the toddler.

Also what's wrong with posting videos? - most of us have friends and family that we don't see every day and we want them to look at the baby's development. Post your own videos too!

PurpleLostPrincess · 07/05/2010 13:48

YANBU, and you are not alone!

My older kids were potty trained by 18months but DD2 is now 2.8 and despite wanting to wear knickers, she still hasn't got the hang of it. She wants to be a big girl but has no idea when she wants to go. She does have medical problems but they shouldn't affect her bladder control (there's a chance she may turn out to be faecally incontinent). We got a special winnie pooh toilet thing and everything but she doesn't like sitting on it!!!! I feel for you, really I do... Agree with the other suggestions to 'hide' the status updates from the people on fb who are annoying you lol!

PLP xx

kickassangel · 07/05/2010 13:49

much better to wait til they're ready, imho. also, i found that a lot of people who said 'oh, x is potty trained now' really meant that they'd stopped using nappies but were clearing up a lot of accidents. whereas dd, once ready, had v few accidents, and it was just a couple of weeks before we could head out places & not even think about having spare clothes/portaloo etc in the car.

you don't push them to crawl/walk/eat until they're ready, don't do it with this.

Bonsoir · 07/05/2010 13:49

Step away from Facebook and get a life. My DD wasn't really toilet trained at 3.2 but at 3.3 she became fully toilet trained (wee, poo, night and day) in one afternoon!

oldraver · 07/05/2010 13:50

I decided I would wait until DS was ready, but made sure he had access to potty/toilet if he so wished. I just kept quiet when all I heard was potty training talk (yawn) with the mothers at pre-school. (frankly I dont give a shit how many times x has wee'ed)

He was 4 in January while we were on holiday and decided himself he would use the toilet to poo so we had no dirty nappies while away. When we came back I gave him a couple of weeks to settle back into pre-school then we decided he would go in pants, he had been using the toilet for a few weeks anyhow. It has been stress free, he has only had two 'accidents'. We dont seem to have had the trauma or drama that others seem to of done.

Yes people will still crow that theirs were 'trained' at whatever age but its not a competition I will enter. Nowhere on DS1's University a[pplication did it ask how old he was potty trained.. its

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 07/05/2010 13:50

Just wait until she is ready. DS was 5 then just took himself off and we have sailed on since.

He does however have ASd.

Just wish I hadn't put us both through the hell of trying to train him before he was ready.

lukewarmcupoftea · 07/05/2010 13:56

Bearcrumble - agree with you, but there's being proud and then there's being smug , or even worse, competitively smug. Nothing wrong with posting about your kids on fb, but if it's all you post about then that gets a bit much. I've had to 'hide' a friend because every single day we have the latest 'DC said this, wow isn't that amazing, no toddler has ever shown such insight etc' status update. Occasionally, yes, every day and with no other posts about anything else in life, urgh pass me the bucket please.

ddgm · 07/05/2010 13:57

Hi
I feel for you i was told by soooooooooo many people my youngest was to old to STILL be in nappies and 3 but now he is 15 and trust me it works eventually.
I am a childminder and have potty trained more children than i ever could imagine. The only advise i can give you is as long as she is done before she starts full time school then thats ok.
I sound soooooo old now but trust me don't fret and worrry about it now she will soon be a teenager going out and well you no doing whatever teenagers do.
Please don't stress over it now Please enjoy your time with her she will do it maybe just not yet.

Southwestwhippet · 07/05/2010 13:57

YANBU - I have friends that use facebook status updates to 'boast' about their child's latest achievement too. It can get very wearing because hard as you try not to it is difficult not to compare.

I dont have anything helpful to say about potty training as my dd is only 14wks, just that i feel your irritation

Original poster

pigletmania · 07/05/2010 13:58

Thanks everyone think that i am stressing too much and probably stressing out dd. I think that all those who trained early and say were out of nappies by 18months etc were ready anyway

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 07/05/2010 13:58

Bonsoir! LOL at any regular MNer telling people to get a life. What's that then?

cleopops · 07/05/2010 14:01

Agree with scurryfunge- dp on every night,i can't quite get the whole "just had a takeaway" or "my baby just did a poo"
and don't get me started on "just bought a flash posh bag" etc etc.
I wouldn't believe half the stuff people boast about on FB,and certainly not when it comes to potty acheivements!

lazylula · 07/05/2010 14:09

My ds1 was out of nappies in the day at about 18 months, I had people accusing me of pushing him, forcing him ect and I began to doubt myself. Having now got ds2 (22 months) and having used the same method of having the potty around, lots of no nappy time, periodically sitting him on the potty and getting nowhere, I now know ds1 was just ready early and ds2 isn't ready yet. And when I say ds1 was out of nappies, yes there was the occasional accident after 18 months (maybe one a week) but other than that he was dry! I think potty training is a big deal to alot of parents so if there child is cracking it they want to shout about it!

RedRedWine1980 · 07/05/2010 14:12

YABVU- im pretty certain they aren't posting just to make you feel inferior.

superv1xen · 07/05/2010 14:16

i just hate the way people use fb as a tool to boast and crow about anything. makes me cringe. but i do notice that its particularly people showing off about their amazingly clever, advanced kids.

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