to think a person should be able to eat in a fancy-pants restaurant with a small child..

[Stannie]

without stage whispered comments and scathing looks ?

I went to a yummy and quite smart Thai restaurant with my Mum and 7mo son on Bank Holiday Monday. We planned a late lunch so we would miss the rush and arrived at 3pm when it was less busy.

The restaurant is child friendly - with buggy parking if required, lovely highchairs provided and a dedicated changing/feeding room (with lovely Burts Bees products for use)

We were seated in an area with 5 tables - a good distance from each other. PFB was happy in his highchair and quietly busy with a rusk and a toy. We ate, he sampled our food (loves duck!) and at no time did he cry/shout/make any real noise bar a bit of cooing.

Another family group with a small girl (10-12mnths ?) were seated near us. Their little girl was equally sociable, making little disturbance etc.

Throughout the meal we were able to hear diners at other tables making comments about children under 10 being out in "upmarket eateries" (poncy or what!) and that "children prevent other diners from really enjoying themselves" (what do they want to do ???)

AIBU taking my baby there ? Would I have been unreasonable to have said something to the complainers ?

OP - YANBU!

The restaurant caters for children, so you have every right to be there. The other people were being fools. How else are children to learn correct etiquette when eating out? If they hated it that much, they could have left. Simple as.

well of course there is a choice....but YKWIM .

Exactly the op took her kids on a bank holiday at 3pm fgs not in the evening, I agree with emj its prime family time what do you expect!

Your child was well behaved and quiet. So YANBU.

Out of interest though, what would you have done if he had been screaming or throwing food? Would you have left?

We have always taken the DDs to nice restaurants but always go at quiet times ie. mid afternoon or early evening. I have no problem with children in restaurants as long as they behave.

I loathe it if we have got a baby sitter ourselves and gone to a fancy restaurant in the evening to be disturbed by noisy badly behaved children or crying babies.

Op - as it was mid afternoon and your baby was no bother I would not have a problem at all. YANBU.

Minipie - if DS had started crying/throwing food etc I would have taken him out for a walk outside to settle him and come back when he was settled - so I wouldn't disrupt other people eating etc.

Pagwatch - the food is absolutely amazing there and I would love to go back for that reason (that and the service/staff were brilliant). I have never been before and my mum has only been in the evening. I would go back again, in the evening (without DS and with DH) however as apparently the weekend evening crowd are very different.

Ok, Stannie, tell us the name of the restaurant now - I want to go!

Oh, do that then - try at a different time.

I don't care how good the food or the service are. A good place needs a good ambiance and with or without the baby issues, any place that attracts the type of people ill mannered enough to apply lipgloss at the table or gauche enough to have loud money based conversations, would put me off.
It sounds ghastly.
Try the evening

YABU to expect us to believe that anybody actually said 'upmarket eateries' - nobody speaks like that.

I'm not a fan of kids in restaurants myself but each to their own. In my family there are so many kids of so many differing ages it's impossible to have a family meal that isn't basically a kid's day out. Adult tastes etc count for nowt, it's all about keeping the kids entertained and making sure they don't ruin it for other diners, which I find pretty stressful. So I am perhaps a bit biased!

When mine arrives I'll have the choice either to stay at home, go out to a child friendly cafe, or as a rare treat get a babysitter and eat out in peace with DP or with friends. Can't see the issue tbh.

I don't eat in posh places enough for it to be a big loss.

I actually think that's it's a good thing for some restaurants to discourage children, or be less welcoming to them in the evening. It can be really nice to spend time out in just adult company.

But I also think that children should be taken out and about, not always hidden away. IMO it's all down to the restaurant to decide what type of market they are going for. Any customers who eat somewhere that supplies highchairs, baby change facilities etc need to expect children. And if they don't like it they should go elsewhere.

So, OP YANBU. But I personally would like to see some places stay as more adult-orientated.

YANBU - I do feel a little sorry for the grumpy diners though. If they allow themselves to get that upset/bitchy over well behaved babies having a late lunch, imagine what it does to their digestion when they get to eat in the same room as a toddler kicking off!

Personally I'd ignore them totally as I would probably get to worked up thinking about what I would say to them - ie I'd be giving them attention instead of getting on with my meal.

IF they were really loud & rude, I would have to tell them to pull their bloody head in or something, but TBH I hate confrontations & would get all shaky over it probably, though I'd feel good after.

I'd be content to take satisfaction that they ruined their own meal with their own crappy attitudes, so natural justice took care of it!

YANBU - the other diners were dunderheads and by the sounds of it your DC and the other DC there were impeccably behaved.

We took our children, then aged 11,14 and 3 to a Michelin restaurant in France (not my idea - 3 yr old was very poorly until he was about 4 and vomited most days)
The food was fantastic and the older children really enjoyed eating snails and frogs legs etc - however - the worst did happen - DS3 excelled himself into my substantial starched napkin !!! I was mortified and the staff just ignored it.. I cleaned everything up (was an expert at the time and always fully prepared)
None of the other diners said anything but I felt dreadful.
We now run a cafe/bar and welcome children of all ages with open arms - high chairs, baby changing - spare nappies etc.. It seems to me that as long as parents actually parent their children, nobody minds them being around - I do object to undisciplined children running around and endangering waitresses etc..

I am taking my DS 5yo to the Ivy for my 40th birthday. Have called and checked it's okay and they sounded most welcoming.

If they can do it, a few stuffy twunts in a local Thai should just shut their faces basically.

I went to La pont de la Tour with a bunch of friends when single and childless and was more disgusted by the sweaty fat red faced old businessmen crooning and pawing their Asian trophy brides or lemon tart bimbo mistresses whilst chomping their steak with mouths like fecking tumble driers. Yeuch.

One thing I hate about this country is that children are seen as a problem or a pain in the rear. I know people have mixed opinions about the middle east but whenever we visit our children are welcomed as little world citizens with equal rights in any establishment.

We stopped off for an apple juice at a country pub once mid afternoon and only realised when we sat down that it was the local michelin starred trendy gastro pub type place. Dd aged 3 announced in a loud voice "I need to do my poo" so I had to carry her through the restaurant to the ladies. As I carried her back to our table she helpfully informed all the diners "I have done my poo now thank you". We scarpered quickly after that.

The last dog I had was far tidier and inclined to cleanliness than my 6yo DS.