Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just had row with dp who is bu

32 replies

slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:16

Yesterday got to school and my ds said he was ill which is unlike him so we went to the tescos nearby for breakfast.

Today my mum sat her exam so I had to look after my little sis when my mum got out she was starving and asked to take me to lunch she paid and picked her favorite restaurant which happens to be dp fave too.

Dp has found out I went and has started shouting because we don't get to eat out much and I told him he was being childish and ridiculous as my mum paid he said yeah but now he cant eat because I am not.

We had the same argument a week ago I am unable to work because we have no one to take care of the kids and are unable to afford childcare. So when we accidentally got pg with ds I offered and he agreed to put my career on hold. Now having two kids and being stuck in I have no friends I wanted to go to a club the only one available was kickboxing while ds was in school and my mum could look after dd. which dp has always wanted to do so he said I was being unfair I offered him to go in the evening but he wants me to wait until one comes up in the evenings and go with him.

Is dp behaving like a teenager in a strop or aibu.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 05/05/2010 18:18

Good grief is he 14?

MrsLiberalTheWaitress · 05/05/2010 18:19

He is behaving like a teenager.

My DH occassionally gets a bit grumpy when we tell him what we've been up to in the day, but he soon changes his tune when I ask him if expects me and the DCs to sit around bored and miserable all day waiting for him to get home, and only ever doing fun stuff on his days off.

FFS!

scurryfunge · 05/05/2010 18:19

So your DP is controlling your diet, your social life and your sporting activities?

GeekOfTheWeek · 05/05/2010 18:21

Control issues spring to mind.

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:23

It feels like he is. But he only gets annoyed if it is something he likes to do if my mam took me for a makeover he would not care less.

I am actually psml he has stroppily gone to get himself food now I would expect more of my teenage sister men can be so childish.

I have informed him that I am going out for lunch everyday until he accepts that I can eat out.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 05/05/2010 18:23

he IS behaving like a child. But I wonder if he has also found becominga father difficult? the responsibility? the not being able to do things you both wanted to do?
and seeing you now going out and doing things he enjoyed, or has always wanted to do but felt he couldn't well... it IS rubbing it in a bit isn't it?

how old are you both? you don't sound that old from your OP

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:24

It does seem like control issues but it is more his obsession with food he gained 1 stone when I was pg with both ds and dd because he has to eat more.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 05/05/2010 18:24

maybe he needs to do an evening class in kickboxing or something?

MrsLiberalTheWaitress · 05/05/2010 18:25

slushy, he is being very pathetic indeed!

RunawayWife · 05/05/2010 18:26

Your DP is a selfish prat.
Tell him to grow up

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:26

thisisyesterday we are not that old he is 26 and I am 22 but ds was born when I was 18 and he was 22 so I can see the point that is why I dropped the kick boxing and am looking for another club.

OP posts:
Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:27

There are no evening classes in kickboxing and before ds he had always studied it.

OP posts:
foureleven · 05/05/2010 18:28

Pathetic. How childish. If your ma wants to buy you lunch at the flippin ritz he should be pleased for you!

Can I just say completely irrelevantly that if your son was well enough to go to tescos for breakfast he should have gone to school (waits for flaming emoticon)

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:29

Now the thing is I don't get it he can be so grown up and mature he even lets me stay friends with my ex(meaning I asked if it was ok because his work mates were winding him up and he said it was fine) but he is so immature over food is it just my dp then.

OP posts:
kickassangel · 05/05/2010 18:30

sounds like you need to sit down & have a grown up convo about expectations. i'm sure you both work hard & deserve/earn some 'rewards' for yourselves. so, agree how much time & money is reasonable for each of you to indulge yourselves.

i can see it's twice as annoying for him if you do something he really wants but can't, it kind of rubs it in for him. doesn't give him the excuse to get stroppy though.

why can't you go kickboxing in the daytime & he goes in the eve? then you can compare notes later?

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:32

Foureleven normally I would agree but ds loves school and if he is dying he wants to go and has never asked for a day off. But he didn't want to go and I was concerned as to why and didn't want to force so I took him for breakfast to try and find out why.

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 05/05/2010 18:33

Are you saying he put weight on because you perhaps ate a bit more while pregnant and so he had top, so he didn't miss out?

foureleven · 05/05/2010 18:33

Its not just your DP. My ex used to practically cry if I got maccys take away for lunch.

thisisyesterday · 05/05/2010 18:33

foureleven, i was thinking the exact same thing! lol

i think you're all being a bit mean to the dp tbh. i agree he has acted childishly, but i think there is a reason for that

becoming parents IS hard, i think a lot of us must have moments where we resent not being able to do stuff yes? and maybe, as he was a parent fairly young he feels this even more keenly?
he has a job, he supports his family, he has given u[p kickboxing because he couldn't do it once the children were born

i don't think it's unreasonable for him to feel a little resentful when he sees his partner doing all the things he used to enjoy but can no longer do is it?

yes, he needs to be grown-up regarding his reaction to this... but i don't think his reaction is totally unwarranted

foureleven · 05/05/2010 18:34

Fair cop, as you were then

Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:35

Kickassangel I think today is more because he got a rejection letter for a book he spent five years writing but I didn't want to say so as not to seem like I was making excuses. But I think we do need to find him a activity because he doesn't go out anywhere without me or the kids his choice he is quite shy.

OP posts:
Original poster
slushy06 · 05/05/2010 18:40

FabIsGoingToGetFit He genuinely did put on weight both times I was pg.

But I love him to bits and this is about the only flaw other than that he really is perfect supportive, loving great with the kids and He has just come back with dinner and said sorry and offered me some.

I definitely think we should try and find him something to do. Any ideas?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 05/05/2010 18:43

ask him not us!

i bet he was feeling crap about the rejection letter, and then it made him feel worse hearing about you having a lovely time if he maybe feels that he can't?

why don't you go and suggest that he does something one evening a week? then it's up to him

overmydeadbody · 05/05/2010 18:44

Your DP is a selfish imature idiot and his age is no excuse.

I don;t see why he objects to you doing kickboxing when he can't go during the day anyway

overmydeadbody · 05/05/2010 18:45

Why did he put on wight each time you where pregnant?

Swipe left for the next trending thread