Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

now we have slagged off Avatar, to start a new thread to pull to pieces the travesty that was Titanic?

79 replies

GetOrfMoiLand · 04/05/2010 16:02

Yes, look at me with my current affairs, starting a thread to slag off a film which came out about 10 years ago!

I mean, come on. Let's reduce what could have been an excellent story by inventing a 'across the class divides' love story, complete with the bastard English, jolly fiddle playing Irish, Americans who were evil and money loving (unless you were Leonardo DiC, or the fat jolly one played by Kathy Bates), a gun fight and the main character losing her virginity in the back of a car.

Honestly.

OP posts:
Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 04/05/2010 16:22

HOW does she still have that necklace in that coat at the end of the film, whene she has been running around, upended on a bloody great boat and tipped into the swirling Atlantic.

Also, would she still be wearing said soaking wet greatcoat on the rescue boat, or would she have taken it off to get dry?

Also, I don't think they had Florence and the Machine colour hair dye in 1912.

OP posts:
juneybean · 04/05/2010 16:22

Haha well...the graphics, the history, the real big boat!

To be fair, I usually fast forward the soppy love story and wait for it to hit the iceberg...

ShadeofViolet · 04/05/2010 16:24

Does she die at the end of the film?

Doodleydoo · 04/05/2010 16:26

Glad to see I am not the only one that finds it revoltingly offensive.....had forgotten about that necklace but frankly would have flogged that and my story years before for loadsamoney and lived off the proceeds. She struck me as a bit of a slapper - you know once the seal was broken people would just keep trying to pop a cork in. I need to get out more!

Katiepoes · 04/05/2010 16:31

No she doesn't die she lives on and on forever in the arms of Leo in the heaven that is the Titanic ballroom. Where somehow the raggedy poor people are also allowed come along. With Celine wailing in the background. While we all feel sick.

I saw this with a friend that adored it, she wept and wept for days, all it took was a few bars of that wretched song and she was off.

smallishsheep · 04/05/2010 16:35

ALso, why are they all on the Titanic in heaven? Were all the survivors lives afterwards so shite that getting onto a big old ship with a bunch of strangers for evermore was the best option??

Doodleydoo · 04/05/2010 16:36

They went to heaven? When did that happen? I so was not paying attention - must have been the barf making song that made me turn it off.

AbsOfCroissant · 04/05/2010 16:38

Maybe the catering was REALLY good

smallishsheep · 04/05/2010 16:39

Is that not what happens at the end? WHen they are all clapping, like oooooo well done, you finally died

Original poster
GetOrfMoiLand · 04/05/2010 16:40

lol smallishsheep

WHY the hell would you all congregate there? On a boat where you all drowned? With Celine Dion music?

OP posts:
Twit · 04/05/2010 16:51

I am proud to say I have never watched this film. I saw enough of it if I didn't manage to switch the effing song off in time.
And it sounds like she sings 'my hotdogs go on'-which makes it a song about dodgy meat products repeating on her, which,strangely, is what the video made me do if I was unlucky enough to have eaten in the last hour.

porcamiseria · 04/05/2010 16:53

I LOVED THIS FILM!!!!! I still do. I cried so much I nearly got a hernia

StewieGriffinsMom · 04/05/2010 16:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/05/2010 16:58

I love it!

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/05/2010 17:01

I will Jack to live everytime, but sadly he NEVER does.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 04/05/2010 17:06

Me and boyfriend at the time went to see Titanic 7 times at the cinema.

do you think it's too late for a refund?

lucysnowe · 04/05/2010 17:16

Indeed. Hate how all the English people are evil and all the Oirish people are lovely. And poor old Murdoch got really shafted:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/78839.stm

My DH cried at the end tho;

sockmonkey · 04/05/2010 17:35

I saw this film twice at the cinema, dragged there with 2 seperate sets of friends. I did not cry. It's something I am proud of.
Didn't cry at Ghost either.

That was of course before I had children. Now I cry at adverts

biddysmama · 04/05/2010 17:37

urgh hate titanic

sings badly "eeeevery night in my dreeeems i sheee you i feeeeeeel youuuuu, thishh isssh how i know you goooo oooonnnnnnn"

BouncingTurtle · 04/05/2010 17:44

Titantic was a big pile of shite.

"King of the world", my arse. James Cameron you are King of Shit Hill.

LifeOfKate · 04/05/2010 18:00

You are all heartless, I loved this film!! In my defense, I was 14 when it came out and was the target audience

sayithowitis · 04/05/2010 18:35

just an observation. I don't think the main character lost her virginity in the car. In an earlier scene, Cal reminds her that she is his wife in all but name. That would mean that they were shagging even though not yet married.

smallishsheep · 04/05/2010 18:42

Nah, she wouldn't shag him. I, too, am shocked by how much I remember about this bunch of shite. But the scene where he gives her the necklace, it's basically implied that he wants it and she's not giving it

singsinthebath · 04/05/2010 19:24

I found it scarier than a lot of so-called scary films. Those end scenes with all the people drowning and freezing to death gave me nightmares for days afterwards. DD (age 11) wants to watch it. Should I let her?

kitstwins · 04/05/2010 21:26

My second most hated film (after Love Actually. Don't get me started on that - the title alone makes me want to hurl; the flesh-creepy, smug 'Actually'.....). Anyway, I digress. My key Titanic loathes: -

  1. The 'Oirish' en pointe dance scene. God help us.
  2. The whole good-'oirish'-humble-peasant-folk versus evil-mean-rich-American-b*stards. Can we stereotype any further? Oh yes, we can have a cowardly Englishman going berserk, shooting his gun off and generally behaving badly. I'm surprised the Captain wasn't pegged as English, given he sank the bloody ship...
  3. The sex scene in a car. The hand slapping against the steamed up window in faked-orgasm ecstacy. It's an insult to intelligence to suggest that the loss of virginity in the back of a 1912 motorcar would result in a wave-crashing orgiastic frenzy. At best she'd get a slipped disc.
  4. The music. Offence to ears, cinema, mankind.
  5. The fact that Kate Winslet was able to slosh around in the bowels of the ship, neck-deep in freezing Atlantic water, for hours at a time without turning blue and freezing to death. I know we need to suspend reality blah, blah, blah but survival time would have been about 3 or 4 minutes at best and yet she was pratting around hunting for an axe and dropping keys for what felt like HOURS!
  6. The scene where she and Leo are in the water and they're supposed to be blue from the cold. The make up is CRAP. Blue lipstick and talcum powder/fake icing on the hair. Plus there was room for 2 on the plank of wood. Very greedy and selfish of her not to put body and soul into dragging her true love to warmth and safety with her.

The lone highlight was the brilliantly ham acting by Billy Zane as Dr. Evil, wife-beater, hairpiece fiancee. Yes, we get the hammer-subtle point that he's a NASTY MAN!!

Dreadful, dreadful film.