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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To NOT want to go to A&E because my baby fell down the stairs?

61 replies

bigboobymama · 04/05/2010 14:53

My DD is 5 months old and fell from my arms when I slipped on the stairs yesterday. She feel from 3rd step onto her face. She cried for 10 minutes or so and then was fine. No sleepiness, no bruises. Fed as normal and is her normal self. I have two older boys 13 and 8 and know babies fall and it can be scary but I'm confident she is ok. She is my DH only daughter and he wants to go to hospital. This I feel wil be a waste of 4 hrs or so. Should I take her? Or talk him out of it? We already have issues in our marriage over her as he feels i'm too complacent about holding her and now this!

OP posts:
TheButterflyParty · 04/05/2010 14:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bumpybecky · 04/05/2010 14:57

I think I'd let him take her if he insisted on her going.

wombfrootshoot · 04/05/2010 14:58

Can you compromise and take her to your GP?

Did your DH not ask you about this yesterday when it happened?

nubbins · 04/05/2010 15:00

I would go to the GP rather than A&E, as a comprimise.

Firstly because it happened yesterday, so not exactly an emergency, and secondly because I have heard that going to A&E is more likely to get social services involved needlessly.

RunawayWife · 04/05/2010 15:07

I would have gone to A&E when it happened TBH

TulipsInTheSunshine · 04/05/2010 15:09

dp used to be like this with dd when she was tiny (pfb) so you have my sympathy.

You'd be wasting a&e time going now, so long after the fact. Tell him to bring her to the gp if he's worried... with any luck the gp will give him the 'these things happen, babies are tough little buggers' talk that all neurotic mothers get

CheekyVimtoGal · 04/05/2010 15:12

When my son fell down stairs, he was fine afterwards, cried (which apparently is a good sign) but the day after, he couldnt walk proiperly and was limping so we took him to Minor injuries unit at our local hospital.

VinegarTits · 04/05/2010 15:15

get him to ring NHS direct?

she sounds fine, but he obviously needs to put his mind at ease, understandable if she is his first

Original poster
bigboobymama · 04/05/2010 16:35

DH was really upset with me and wouldn't let me hold her for an hour after(like I fell& tripped on purpose!) but he never mentioned going to A&E then...I Did suggest we call the Health Visitor but he won't have it. Im breastfeeding and so would have to go along. Really feels like a waste of time especially so long after the fact and DD having a good night sleep. DH feels she may have a fractiure or something. If I give in this time when she seems perfectly fine we are going to be spending lots of time in A&E "to be on the safe side"

OP posts:
mysteryfairy · 04/05/2010 17:31

My DN's skull was fractured when someone fell down the stairs with her in their arms. She initially appeared fine.

I would always take child to A and E in these circumstances.

JustBlameSue · 04/05/2010 17:36

to be on the safe side, i would go if i were you. You need to check internal injuries. She could (and I hope to god not) have some bleeding which would not be noticeable straightaway.

Don't wish to frighten you but i really think you should go. You may be seen quickly as she is a baby in any case.

biddysmama · 04/05/2010 17:40

i would have gne straight away.... 4 hours is nothing (imo) to check your baby is ok

Northernlurker · 04/05/2010 17:44

Do you mean you were standing on the third step up when you dropped her? Becuase if so that means she fell what 6 or seven feet landing on her head?

I think your dh is right to be concerned tbh. I too know someone whose baby had a skull fracture after a fall whilst being carried on the stairs.

I know you think he's fussing and I reckon you know what to look for etc but really what are we talking here - a few hours in A&E or a lifetime of resentment, anger and regret if anything is wrong? I once insisted we took dd2 to A&E when dh didn't think we needed to. Nothing seriously wrong and I we had a horrible row but as we left he admitted he was pleased we'd gone - because he didn't want that hanging over him for ever!

Bigpants1 · 04/05/2010 17:53

Its difficult to judge when not face to face.I know what you mean about babies being robust etc. but there are falls...and falls IYSWIM.
Your dd is only 5months. You know her, and you said she fed and slept well-good signs that all is well.And, going to a&e now so long after the fact, well,there seems to be no need. But, even though I have several dc myself, I think if my baby fell out of my arms on the stairs, yes, I would get them checked out-just to be reassured.
If your dh is inexperienced with small dc,then he will probably err on the side of caution. Why does he think you are complacent with holding her? Does he equate this with "not caring"? Perhaps in his eyes, by not getting your dd checked out after the fall, you have reinforced these feelings in him? You may have "been round the block" so to speak as far as having dc are concerned, but this is new to your dh, so try and humor him and reach a compromise.

thehillsarealive · 04/05/2010 17:58

get your husband to take the baby to the hospital/GP to put his mind at east. Chances are she is fine, but best to be checked out. They do say to get a head injury checked.

I remember when DC1 was little and hurt himself/fell we ALL used to go to hospital. Now we just take it in turns with the children, it isnt a family day out y'know.

JackBauerIsZonerrific · 04/05/2010 18:03

YABU.
I think your DH is allowed to be PFBish about a small baby who ahs fallen onto their face.

Boys2mam · 04/05/2010 18:06

When my DS2 was younger (about 12 mths) he fell from the top of the stairs to the bottom and screamed cried his heart out. There were no visible marks, he was still toddling ok and it was approaching bed time so rather than taking a seemingly fine child to the hospital I 'phoned NHS direct, they went thr their million questions and reassured me if nothing was visibly wrong then let him go to bed and monitor him closely for concussion.

He was fine. Perhaps NHS Direct is a good compromise, as a previous poster also suggested.

CoinOperatedGirl · 04/05/2010 18:06

But what would they do at A&E now? Likely just observe, don't think they would give a head x-ray or ct scan on the off chance tbh, so any internal bleeding would have to be symptomatic anyway . I would let him take her, can you express so he has milk at hand?

I think you would know if a fall was serious or not, I'm imagining you slipping on to your bottom and baby being jolted out of your arms rather than baby purely dropped straight on her head? (could be wrong).

belgo · 04/05/2010 18:10

YABU.

You should have taken her to the GP or hospital.

You can never take risks with children this tiny; not only that, as parents we have to protect ourselves against any accusations of abuse.

And you should take your dh's feelings into account

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/05/2010 18:22

'A waste of 4hrs'

Sassybeast · 04/05/2010 18:25

YABU. You should have taken her yesterday IMO.

sayithowitis · 04/05/2010 18:28

Of course you should take her to A&E. One of my DC's fell about 3 feet at a similar age and was found to have a fractured skull. 4 hours is nothing when it is the health of your baby! There will always be those who fell further/onto a hard surface and are fine. And there will also always be those, like mine, who fell a short distance onto carpet and did some damage. It may be that your DD is fine. But it may be that she is not. FWIW, when it happened to us, apart from the crying when it happened, there was no other indication that something was wrong from DC. Even the hospital were sure things were fine. Until suddenly a lump started to literally grow before their eyes. Then it was a mad rush to get x-rays, tests etc, as a skull fracture can ( apparently) be a way in for meningitis.

Take your DD to A&E. Please.

Spatchadoodledo · 04/05/2010 19:06

TBH I probably would just to be on the safe side. Only because she is so young, iykwim? A toddler maybe not, but a 5 mth old? Yep.

SwissCheeseIsHolyCheesus · 04/05/2010 19:10

Are you always his lazy and selfish ?

thisisyesterday · 04/05/2010 19:15

no need yo be rude to the op is there??

fwiw i agree, she seems fine and i wouldn' have gone to a&e either. and i ceertainly wouldn't want to go the day after, seems a bit pointless

BUT, your dh is her parent too, and you can't over-rule him on something he feels very strongly about, if it was the other way round i suspect you would expect him to back you up on it?

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