to take "friends" voting Tory personally?

[ButterPie]

I am an unmarried stay at home mum, with a DP who works at just over minimum wage to pay for our rented house, with the help of tax credits, DLA and child benefit. They think I'm scum, don't they?

No they don't, they just have a different view on life than you and different experiences. Nearly everyone I know (outside of work) is a tory voter and they are mostly good people.

Even if they hold those views generally they won't personalise it to you.

rolls eyes

they are thinking about their own circumstances, if they have money they willbe thinking thatif they vote tory, the tories will make them richer

they are navel gazing, inward looking isolationists, who havent given you a second thought - i dont know if thats worse !!

Yabvu

YABU. My friends are my friends because I like them. We don't have to agree on everything.

But they will happily tell me they think people who have kids when they can't afford them (ie to pay for EVERYTHING, education, healthcare, everything) are bad parents, they think that the govenment money we get is just rewarding us for being lazy, one tory friend even directly said that I don't work hard ever as a sahm, why should she pay taxes for my children to go to surestart and so on?

You need different friends.

And these are your friends? Blimey. What do you say to them when they make these comments?

I don't know anything about your life circumstances and this is not directed at you. But I don't get why you would have children you can't afford, life is hard enough, why create problems. I am not a tory voter and think surestart is a fantastic resource.

Right have reread your post and affording children includes paying for education and healthcare - if this is privately paying rather than through taxes this is clearly mad and they sound like strange friends.

She says her friends don't think anyone should have children unless they can afford private education, private healthcare etc. Not they shouldn't have thme if they can't afford to feed/house them.

Your friends have an extreme POV and if they were my friends, I woudn't be friends with them any more.

I think we cross posted ISNT, I agree they sound like rather extreme friends and a stereotypical tory voter rather than an average one.

I dont think most tory voters would have the views you just said, it seems extreme! I wouldn't be too bothered if people do vote tory, but if they say that kind of thing to you then yes yanbu to take it personally.

yabu

Aww ButterPie, if they are saying that sort of stuff to you they aren't your friends

I'm your friend!!! And I don't vote Tory, neither

Their voting intentions are not the problem.

YANBU

I wouldn't take the voting tory personally - my DP says he is voting tory (first time ever) because he has no confidence in labour tackling the national debt.

The remarks they have made are massively offensive (and stupidly misguided and just plain wrong) and I would take them very personally indeed.

I was going to say they are not your friends but I see from your thread title you know that already!

YABVU.

In the words of GB "ridiculous, just ridiculous"

My parents vote tory as they sit in their ex, now worth a fortune, council house with vast amounts of excess cash. Don't get me wrong they worked hard for what they have and I don't begrudge them at all but I am of the opinion that it was made a lot easier for them than for me.

I, on the other hand am a lone parent, with 2 dc, one disabled, living in social housing, working is just not a possibility for me as my child's SN mean that I am his carer and need to be available for him constantly.

I sort of think that my parents, who are getting on a bit might be thinking what is right for me and their grand kids rather than themselves. I would never say it though, it is up to them.

I have no Tory friends. Incompatible values, I can't abide selfish self-interest.

YABU - your friends are only trying to protect your child's future. In fact, you should probably bake them a nice cake to say thanks!

Seriously - you can't fall out with friends because of this - unless I read the situation wrong and you are in fact 12.

Can't help but think though that if your friends think you're scum you need new friends - no matter what their political idealogy.