to take "friends" voting Tory personally?

[ButterPie]

I am an unmarried stay at home mum, with a DP who works at just over minimum wage to pay for our rented house, with the help of tax credits, DLA and child benefit. They think I'm scum, don't they?

YABU, nobody should have to change their voting choice because they may upset a friend.

It works both ways, they may think that you use your vote to vote for the party who pays the most in state benefits.

Wahwah I am about as left wing as people get, I have many friends who vote tory. I find that attitude very odd. I may diasgree with them , we may debate even argue but they are still great company.

bloody hell!my friends have never asked me who i vote for,i can't say i have ever asked them either.

infact,i haven't decided yet,and neither has my dh...we're thinking possibly lib dem,but are still mulling it over.

if my friends dumped me because they didn't agree with my voting preference,i would be very and hurt.

as long as i'm a loving supportive friend,surely thats all that matters.

your friends do sound extreme however, and i would tackle them if they had made direct criticsm of my lifestyle as yours appear to do. they sound like, not friends as such,more,erm...twats

In what way are they your friends?

YABU

What skihorse said - I think the issue here is your friends' attitude towards you, not what party they support.

Get some real friends.

Yes, you have some awful friends if they truly think these things.

But their voting preferences shouldn't come into it so YABU I'm afraid.

YABVU

wahwah I think that is very strange.

OP you should seek new friends.

I would probably sever ties with friend who voted BNP. But Tory- no, that would mean cutting ties with an awful lot of perfectly decent people. The number of decent people I might miss by not making friends with the BNP otoh is probably negligible.

I agree with the recent posts, your friends sound like twats, it is a sheer coincedence that they are tories.

I sort of understand. I would take anyone I know voting UKIP or BNP very personally (being a pesky european)

but in the OPs case, they just sound nasty regardless of who they're voting for!

no, actually, I wouldn't necessarily take anyone I know VOTING UKIP/BNP personally, I'd take them TELLING ME as a european that they were voting UKIP because of all the bloody foreigners in the country personally!

which is what your friends are doing. Not just quietly voting, they're telling YOU that they are voting tory because they don't like people like YOU getting any sort of social support

so YANBU

Please dont assume people vote tory simply because of their own financial situation.

There is a lot more to who you vote for (or there should be). Their views on international affairs, crime, human rights, healthcare, education etc - not simply the fact that they dont need tax credits or dont want to be taxed 50p in the pound...that's the wrong reason to vote for a party. I know some people do but you shouldn't assume they only vote for that reason unless you have very good reason to do so and have had a very in depth discussion about it.

YABU

Can I just add, people do get really arsey about voting Tory - they keep saying things like "dont they care about my tax credits" like Tory voters should be considering them in their choice. Yet they dont consider that they should consider Tory voters in THEIR choice to perhaps vote Labour - surely it goes both ways?

well personally I think that discussing politics (or religion!) with friends is a bad idea.

But given you seemingly already have, it is frankly ridiculous to suggest that anyone should vote based on what is best for their friends. It is no less selfish for a higher rate tax payer to vote tori because they don't want to give up any more of their income than they already are than it is for someone on benefits to vote labour because they don't want to lose their tax credits.

I was sort of exaggerating for effect, but actually, it's important to me that my friends and I share core values. I couldn't be friends with a racist or homophobic or misogynistic views, for example. I find it hard to be friends with people who share Tory values and I am picky, so shoot me.

sloanypony you can't just go around bandying about logic like that!

YABVU

your friends aretwats. their voting preferences have nothing to do with it.

I have always voted labour and I am very old! Labour do not stand a chance where I live and I like the tories policy on special schools and my local MP has a good track record re autism. If I chose to vote tory this time for those reasons would that make me someone no longer worth considering as a nice person?
Would that make me go from being a nice person who viewed you the same to suddenlt being a horrible person who viewed you as scum
Your position is ridiculous.

But I think that if someone is going to throw every action of a friend, every value they hold in day to day life, every act of kindness or friendship, out of the window because they disagree with their mainstream political choice then I think that makes them a bit of a shallow twat tbh

I vote differently to most of my friends.

They still seem to like me. I certainly like and respect them.

You need to get some nicer friends, or stop being so paranoid.

YABVU- You disagree about politics- don't discuss it or have a healthy debate.

If they are saying offensive things to you then tell them- their comments sound hurtful but I believe this is seperate to their vote- you can't get so personally offended by the way they choose to vote or you'll end up alienating yourself from a large portion of society.

They have the right to disagree with you - do you think they should vote for labour as an act of charity or lie to you to save your feelings?

waves to ButterPie

YABU - but I can see why you're upset. It doesn't matter how they're voting; the fact they are being so offensive and cruel is the problem. You've got better people in your life (especially in November '09 ) and they're simply not worth it.

OFGS, the tories are taking tax credits from those above £30K income, not the fucking poorest people. :s

yabu.
and it sounds like you don't like or trust your friends very much if you are putting the worst possible complexion on their political views (which may actually be about long term interest and not saddling our children with huge debts rather than actually wanting to hurt the poor now).
I would get some new friends who are as narrow-minded as you.

I think you are incredibly niave in thinking your friends are having a pop at you by voting Tory - maybe they have the view that Tory economic policy is better than that of labour and as most of what is cut or isn't cut will be of a result of how quickly the economy recovers - it may be that in 2011/12 (when Labour say they are going to start cutting) we are still up shit creak and Labour will have to tighten their belts a lot more than a Tory government are saying they would now so that may have a bearing on your benefits etc.

One of my best friends votes Lib Dem every time - she is this time going to vote Labour because she is a teacher and thinks that is best for someone in her position - her husband works for a major invest,ent bank and he is not voting Labour or Lib Dem due to what he thinks their policy will do to the economy which will then effect everything - mainly people not being able to out food on the table or having to hand back their keys because the mortgage rates have gone through the roof.

We all have different views and opinions and to only be friends with people who vote the same as you or vote in a way which you think is best for your personal circumstances is frankly being very unreasonable.