To think this is not actually "spoiling" my dc?

[shimmerygoldglitter]

Have two dc, one ds and one dd. Dd is still in a cot with me at present but really needs to move into a big bed pretty soon.

So as ds is 7 and dd is 2 I have decided to give up my bedroom so that they may have a bedroom each and I will get a bed settee in the living room and make the best of it. Not ideal of course as love having my own room but there you go, never mind, plenty worse happens at sea etc.

Well I mentioned my plan to a family member and got a big long lecture about "giving up my own space" and "spoiling" my dc, should put them in together apparently.

Opinions please, am lone parent so do not have dh or dp to consider in this.

well done for being so selfless first off.

Might sound nosy here but is house owned or is it social housing (council/HA). If social check with council dept as I sure that if you have 2 children of a different sex who are 5 yrs apart in age then they are entitled to own room and therefore you may be entitled you be moved on the grounds of overcrowding.

If not good on you I did the same when first became single mum and could only afford 1 bed flat. He had bedroom and wardrobes with both our clothes and I had sofa bed in lounge/kitchen/ diner!!!
Lots of people felt the need to comment til one day I said are you offereing to help me pay rent then so I can afford somewhere bigger??!!

Got HA flat 2 yrs ago and he has bigger room on acccount of toys, room to play etc and do not believe he is spoilt as a result.

There are wise words on this thread. You are important and need your own space more than your children do at their ages.

I'm glad you seem to have decided to consider your own needs as well as those of your children, who are lucky to have such a caring mum and will be fine sharing a room.

Am in HA flat, lovely flat, great location, just only two bedrooms. Am in the process of applying for a move horrendously long waiting lists where we are though.

I don't think it was spoiling them to give them the biggest room, there are two of them and only one of me, makes perfect sense to have the smallest room.

But I certainly did not want to not have a bedroom so I am really glad I posted this and got all this good advice.

Have been thinking about this and worked out a good routine as well, will put dd to bed at her usual time and then ds can come downstairs with me to do reading and fun stuff until he goes to bed an hour later.

glad u feel better perhaps look at banding for priotity for moving but as a person with lovely ha flat in great location I would understand if moving somewhere less nice would also be concerning!!

feel for u shimmery but you sound like a lovely, caring ,selfless mum who should proud of herself.

Is the room large enough to put a stud wall down the middle? You would need a window in both halves though.
Or floor to ceiling shelves to divide it off.

Yes, the way the room is laid out would allow a window in each room, the rooms would be reasonably sized single rooms.

I think this sounds like a good plan as I do agree with others that sharing now isn't a prob but 5 yrs on as ds becomes a man sharing could be difficult - altho not unheard of.

Best of luck with it.

yes hopefully circumstances would have changed one way or another by then, but at least I would have had my own room for another couple of years.

We put a stud wall up to divide our two off... it's worked well and was fairly inexpensive to do.

Am glad you decided to stay put, you have got years before the room dividing is an issue. Your dd will be playing in the lounge your ds in his room. We had 3 dc in a smallish double for years, they don't need a room each it is a luxury!

Could you put a bit of a partition up in the biggest room so that they each have theri own space ?.May 2 youngest DC share .We have 4 bedrooms and 4 children .They are 5 and 8 and that situation will continue til my eldest goes to Uni

Are you mad!! You need your own space, dont let exTWAT continue to abuse and maipulate you!

I'm glad you've had a re-think

Is the 'small' room big enough for a double bed? If it's not I would give them the smaller room - they can play in the lounge etc. Sometime in the future you will be in another relationship and I think it's better not to have to move them out of the bigger room later on to accomodate that....

I'm glad you posted and took on board what people said, your EX is a twunt and it's good you are starting to see how he has affected your thinking!!

I shared with my sister as a child, and once we were old enough to want our own space, the room was just divided with a thick curtain down the middle - this might be easier than putting up a wall, especially if it's HA and you hope to move at some point anyway.