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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask someone to take off my pictures off their facebook page?

33 replies

avoidingironing · 02/05/2010 22:10

Someone has scanned in hundreds of old family photos, some of which are not flattering and some downright embarrasing. So I have requested that they remove pictures of me from their FB, as this is so easily seen by so many people that are her friends who I do not know.

AIBU to request that my photos be removed?

OP posts:
Firawla · 02/05/2010 22:13

YANBU @ all, if it is pictures of you it should be up to you to put them up or not

SloanyPony · 02/05/2010 22:16

YANBU

EvilTwins · 02/05/2010 22:16

YANBU, though you might be perceived as a bad sport if you want them taken down because they're unflattering.

A friend of mine is a TEFL teacher in France, and has asked us to de-tag her in photos (and take some down if they're particunarly bad - a lot are drunked ones from university parties) as she doesn't want her (adult) students seeing them.

Your friend (family member?) should respect your request though IMO.

SugarMousePink · 02/05/2010 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkfizzle · 02/05/2010 22:18

What do you mean you can detag yourself?

VengefulKitty · 02/05/2010 22:18

YANBU. I have done this before. If I hate a photo I want it taken down.

I also demanded that someone who had posted photos of DS take them down as it was not a close friend who also had an open profile.

If someone asked me to delete a photo, I would and I have done. It is called being respectful of friendship.

DuelingFanjo · 02/05/2010 22:19

If someone else tags you in a photo then you can remove the tag. Just go to the picture and next to your name it'll say 'detag'. Once you have done it they can't tag you again.

DuelingFanjo · 02/05/2010 22:20

oh, actually it says 'remove tag' - just click where it says that.

SugarMousePink · 02/05/2010 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jenduff · 02/05/2010 22:21

YANBU - I always check before I tag anyone or mail them to say the pics are on tag if they wish

rainbowdays · 02/05/2010 22:22

But removing the tag - just means that it can't be seen on your page, it does not stop other friends from seeing the tag on their pages! As I found out!

smallishsheep · 02/05/2010 22:23

YANBU.
I had a friend do this to me a few months ago and it made me so cross. She had picked the most unflattering pictures of me, along with the most flattering ones of her. And decided to put pictures of me at my biggest up just last week. I've lost 5 stone since and was not happy

AnnaSergeyevna · 02/05/2010 22:27

YA definitely NBU.
Don't mention the unflattering bit, just say in a very polite manner that you're not comfortable with photos of you being online and ask them to remove them.
If you give reasons for why (e.g. unflattering etc) then you give them a reason to moan, whinge, disagree etc.

VirginonRidiculous · 02/05/2010 22:29

Yep my SIL tagged me when I had a bloated face and mass arse a few days after having ds2. I asked her to remove them as I wasn't feeling that great about myself and having all of her friends and mine looking at my round heed didn't make me feel any better. She kindly removed them. It may sound vain but it made me feel better so I don't give a fuckity.

GeekOfTheWeek · 02/05/2010 22:37

YANBU.

This pisses me off.

RunawayWife · 02/05/2010 22:45

YANBU

Pozzled · 02/05/2010 22:49

YANBU

BAFE · 02/05/2010 22:52

YABU - the photograph belongs to the person who took it, it's their copyright and up to them what they do with it.

AnnaSergeyevna · 02/05/2010 23:09

That may be the case, BAFE, but we're not talking the law, just what would be considered reasonable or not.

So, avoidingironing, no posters have said YABU, so what are you going to do about it?
Go on, don't let us down, go for it

mimmum · 02/05/2010 23:17

Actually if you read terms and conditions of facebook you are meant to ask permission from somebody before posting a picture of them or their children, so YANBU.

PurpleLostPrincess · 03/05/2010 00:36

Whether it's legal or not, it's just downright rude to put them on without at least checking. Has she taken them off yet?

As far as the legal bit goes, if they're old family photos, anybody could have taken them, possibly not her, so I would guess it would be irrelevant anyway...?

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable...

scanty · 03/05/2010 00:45

YANBU but don't use the 'unflattering' reason. I'd just say you don't feel comfortable to stangers possible accessing your photos, especially after all the negative stories in the press recently.

oceryo · 03/05/2010 00:59

YANBU. If someone takes a photo of me at a private social occasion then I expect it to go into their own photo file, not to be available for the world to see.

Furball · 03/05/2010 06:47

In 'your account' somewhere near the top right. Then 'Privacy settings'

You can change it as to who sees tagged photos of you. you can make it 'only me' so your friends can't see them.

Of course if your friends are also the person tagging friends then thats another issue.

Original poster
avoidingironing · 03/05/2010 16:26

Thank you for your feedback.

OP posts:
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