DH says I abu unreasonable btw.
I love my DH and he is a good man; it is for this reason I think he should go.
We are a family with struggles: 2 disabled kids makes life far from average and has meant a lot of what we wanted to do with our lives has gone to the roadside. My friends (barring one who is far away and a few online) are long gone, my family far away, the boys a struggle to do anything with and I am so scared of ds1 that I rarely will do anything alone with them. The baby has to sleep close by us in our bed
as ds1 might hurt him or ds3 accidentally smother him. We do have a sex life and it's good when we get time but that's not often enough for either of us.
Nothing can be done about this: it is the shite we have been handed and as we don't qualify for help from SSD that's it. They're coming again soon but so far they won't even class the boys as SN despite DLA agreeing their needs and a Paediatrician asking them to help us.
I have become a moany, fat whinger. I used to get a buzz from work but am a carer now and there's no way around it. Placing ds1 in childcare would be a direct risk to any other children, as would inviting a Nanny in be to them. I am the epitomy of the dull homely wife and it would take more effort to change that than I have. I go the gym when I can (less than enough) but even things like hair washing sometimes become disposable under it all. Not through choice but sheer lack of time.
Dh though is just starting to bloom with his life: he is attractive, just qualified in a job he adores but would be so much rewarding if he could travel often and even live abroad; He could find someone so much more fun and prettier than me, I know he could. He enver had a relationship before me so has missed out on a lot.
My life is pretty over at 36; I don't see why his has to be as well. I have been trying to tell him this but apart from mentioning he thinks I should chat to the GP (I did, GP said I anbu to feel like this) refuses to listen.