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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU - SIL and autism

55 replies

AIBUSIL · 01/05/2010 11:47

My DH just had text off sil saying 'call me pls, urgent' so he phoned her and apparently... she works with young vulnerable adults and they had an 'instructor' in yesterday to teach them about autism.

The instructor gave her a test to fill out which showed all 'aspects' of autism. She told dh on the phone thst when looking at this test she thought of my dd (his step dd) who is 5. She said that she's pretty sure my dd is autistic, she said that the 'adult way' she spoke, the fact that sometimes she walks on tiptoes (she pretends to be a fairy / ballet dancer) and errrm, well that was about all she mentioned. She's met my dd about 4 or 5 times in the whole of her life.

I know nothing about autism. AIBU to a. tell my sil to 'drop dead' b. worry myself sick now that I and dd's school/ rest of family etc have all missed something and c. be absolutely furious/heartbroken that someone feels the need to tell me such a thing, she even told my dh to 'tell her diplomatically'.

My dd2 who is 4 months was born with, I can't say what exactly because would out me in real life, but a 'birth defect' (hate that term, horrible), that will be 'fixed' when she is older. We are very protective of her because it shocks some people when they first meet her and they make comments. To now be told that a 'stranger' pretty much, I've only met her 4 or 5 times too, now thinks dd1 has a 'problem' as she phrased it is really upsetting me.

Are there any ways of me telling now whether dd1 is autistic? Should I take her to gp and see what they think? Apologies for being clueless but no-one that I know is effected and therefore I know nothing about it.

OP posts:
biddysmama · 02/05/2010 13:09

walking on tip toes can be a sign of dyspraxia which some autistic children may have, not autism....

how old is your dd?

BritFish · 02/05/2010 19:25

biddysmama, really? i didnt know that, and i walked on tip toes almost constantly from age 4 to age 12!

MumNWLondon · 02/05/2010 20:32

OMG - walking on tiptoes means someone is autistic?? she is being totally ridicolous.

Get your DH to call her back and say, 1) she obviously doesn't know your DD very well 2) what she said was extremely insensitive 3) she should keep her opinions to herself.

biddysmama · 03/05/2010 08:31

yeah but dyspraxias like dyslexia but with movement.. a lot of people do things that could be a sign of dyspraxia but isnt unless you have a few of them together... like when kids write thier d's and b's the wrong way round. could be dyslexia but probably nothing... that make sense?

pitterpatterfeet · 03/05/2010 08:38

I teach autistic children and can I just say that any time people go on these autism training courses they immediately start to think of people they know and say that they might be autistic. It happens all the time - I think because many of the behaviours are things that everyone does from time to time.

I wouldn't worry about it but I really do think a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing!

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