to think that these men were extraordinarily rude..?

[legallyblond]

Has such a horrid journey in to work today... first, I got on and there were no seats. Not the end of the world. I am nearly 19 weeks pregnant and do definately have a bump, but I was wearing a loose top and, to be fair, people can't always tell if someone is fat or pregnant... I thought I would be ok standing.

But then the line had severe delays and was stop/start/stop/start/jolt/jolt/ etc and boiling hot for ages and ages. After about half an hour of going nowhere fast, I literally thought I was about to pass out, so I asked the two men next to me, who were sitting in the "priority" seats, if I could possibly sit down as I felt ill (and I am also fairly clearly pregnant of course, but I didn't actually say that). THEY SAID NO!!! They both just grunted and shook their heads! I was literally swaying by this time, but thankfully, a woman form the other end of the carriage noticed and gave me her seat... I still feel a bit sick

AIBU to think that these men really should have given up their seats, if not immediately, then certainly when I said I felt ill?

I am on my second pregnancy in London. I really think it depends where you are. On my end of the northern line I was often offered seats (and I was not at all big even at the end), but my friend on the other end had what most of you had, unfortunately. Although, sometimes you honestly don't notice when you are sitting down reading or when it is busy that there is a pregnant bump in front on you.

My tips: try to get down to the middle of the carriage between the seats. Rub your belly. Make eye contact. Be shameless in diving for empty seats.

Those "I'm pregnant, not fat" badges should come with a can of Mace for occasions like this.

OP I don't think YABU at all but this is one of my soap box subjects. I agree with a PP who said that British men do not cover themselves in glory on the manners/etiquette front in this regard

You need a disabled badge to park a car in a disabled car park, I don;t see what is so different/unreasonable to expect a discrete non-TMI response if one is asked to give-up or justify taking a priority seat on a bus/train.

IME young men (teens and early twenties) were the most likely to give up seats, along with middle-aged or older women

I was shocked recently, I am HUGELY pregnant to the point where delivery men are super-speedy just in case I go into labour! I got on the tube and a man in his 20's was sitting in the priority seat looked me up an down grunted and looked away. Then a woman next to him, probably in her eighties from the look of her, offered me her seat! How he could sit there whilst such a frail old lady got up next to him I don't know. BTW -I didn't take her seat, frankly she needed it more. I did though ask the man to remove his headphones then pointed to the picture of the pregnant woman above his head. He said no until another man intervened and told him to get up. I don't feel unreasonable asking for the seat, I am struggling to stand and walk with hip pain and have feet like balloons and I've given my own seat up happily enough times to feel entitled to one when I need it. Then again he wasn't as bad as the man who when I was around 25 weeks leaned his newspaper on my bump so it ddin't flop over.

I must say though the only group who consistenetly every single time have been helpful/ offered seats are teenage boys. Not what I expected if I'm been honest but whenever I get on with the school crowd they couldn't be nicer (and it's a school with a very bad rep). Reminded me not to judge by age of appearance and has been lovely to see.

strawberry

I have had a similar sort of experience - being the only one to offer a seat to an elderly man with a stick - and I had a toddler on my lap.

OP - is this of any help? Might be once you reach 25 weeks if you commute weekly.

Grrr, the pregnancy is not an illness thing winds me up too. No, it isn't but I am shocked someone who had SPD is still coming out with that line. I had SPD and literally couldn't walk over the road to the shops by the last 2 months. I also had terrible claustrophobia on public transport (not that I had an option about using it as I don't drive). If you suffer from many of the conditions surrounding pregnancy, I think it does make it the equivalent of an "illness" for all intents and purposes. That doesn't mean to say I think all women should turn into precious princesses, but really, a seat on the bus or train is the least you could reasonably expect in a civilised society.

I'm 34 weeks today and frankly enormous, it's only recently I've really wanted to sit on the train and yes when you are the shape I am today it is almost a disability (if a temporary one). Why are people so quick to say 'oh but they may have hidden disabilities'? Is that easier to believe than the fact that a huge number of commuters are just plain ignorant?

For what it's worth I live in Amsterdam and have been offered a seat on the metro several times, every single time by young English men. Maybe all your polite people have fled?

strawberry yes, v happy at least partially to retract my blanket judgement of British men - teenage boys much nicer! The ones who hung out outside our house looking dodgy actually used to jump up to help me reverse park! (slightly insulting, but very sweet).

You could have fibbed and said you felt you "might be sick on them" as you were pregnant. Might have motivated the selfish numpty men to make space for you!

i would have asked them if they were comfy enough or would they like to put their feet on my bump....!

Bastards. Gits. Areseholes. MEN

LittleMrsHappy reminds me of my former manager, who claimed she staggered up two flights of stairs with a broken leg rather than ask for her desk to be temporarily moved to the ground floor.

Just because you have a martyr complex doesn't mean that other people should be denied their rights.