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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to keep my kids off school tomorrow when they are not ill?

77 replies

Greensleeves · 28/04/2010 18:21

sorry, I seem to be on a roll tonight with the AIBU threads

I have just had a letter home from school to say that they are closing the school tomorrow afternoon so that everyone can go and see Prince Edward open the new courts and the local army cadets will be there etc - the children will be met by a uniformed officer and walked up to town

We are passionate pacifists and I am really not happy about this (am a school governor and knew nothing about it)

I would LIKE to offer my kids the choice, and I think ds1 at least would probably choose not to go

several of our close friends' children are not going and friends will be writing letters to the school tonight - but they are friends who don't work, and dh and I are both working tomorrow afternoon! I can't ring my boss and say I won't be in because I am withdrawing my children from school on political grounds

I really really don't want them to go though

and at the very least I would like to let them choose (I would let them go if they wanted to)

my head hurts

and please, no outpourings of disgust at the fact that we are pacifists and don't want our children to attend on those grounds.

OP posts:

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:03

Might not be "any old job".

But I query a lot whether we should be in Iraq or Afghanistan at all.

Why is what they are doing (saving lives? Or radicalising Muslims in these countries?) more important than me teaching neglected young mums to read, or my dh healing and preventing health problems every day?

I would not cheer returning soldiers. I do not agree with these wars and feel LESS safe cos they are going on (and my brother is in Afghanistan servicing helicopters RIGHT NOW!).

No, its not an 'ordinary' job. Not many jobs involve being prepared to kill people.

cory · 28/04/2010 19:04

Agree that the safety argument is silly. We did not go to war with Iraq because there was any evidence whatsoever that they were supporting the AlQaida - if that had really been our concern, we would have gone to war with SaudiArabia. Nor because of any genuine fear of nuclear weapons: plenty of evidence has emerged that leading politicians at the time knew that there weren't actually any. And I have absolutely no recollection of any children in this country needing to be led to safety because they were being attacked by an Afghanistan or Iraqi army.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 28/04/2010 19:06

I think you can disagree with the current war and still show appreciation for them putting their lives on the line.

Original poster

Greensleeves · 28/04/2010 19:07

I don't think you can

if you are strongly opposed to the illegal activity they are engaged in, then you can't in all conscience flag-wave for them

and in the situations edscribed by cory and I, these men are role models to our children. Which makes my flesh creep, personally.

OP posts:

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/04/2010 19:08

yes I agree with your last post totally.

Lol at the placard 'stop spiongeing of us you inbred twats'

I am very uneasy about the armed forces. DD joined last year (she has a hideous sustauned period of violent bullying at school, she had all her confidence knocked out of her, she moved schools, and a youth worker I was involved in really recommended air cadets as a way of boosting confidence, making friends etc). Now, I didn't really think it throiugh and realise what is really was, aka not a kindly youth club but the young person's recruiting arm of the armed forces. So now I have got a 14 year old who wants to forgoe university and join the RAF when she is 18. And of course I feel really bloody overjoyed about that development.

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:09

No - I feel no need to show any appreciation for people who are doing what I feel is a totally unneccesary job.

Why should I?

IMO they are making my life more dangerous. SHoudl I cheer about that?

Lotkinsgonecurly · 28/04/2010 19:10

I think the returning of the soldiers from a warzone (whether you agree with the war or not) are different from the opening of a scout hut ( or whatever it was)!

Prince Edward has never seemed the most charismatic and high profile around, I'd hardly think your kids would miss out if they didn't go.

Prince Harry on the other hand, think I'd volunteer!

MrsC2010 · 28/04/2010 19:13

Or being prepared to die horribly or get maimed for minimum wage?

Don't get me wrong, I am very much against the ongoing wars and was aghast when we entered into them...and am by no means under the belief that all soldiers are avenging angels. But I do get a little at dismissing them so casually when we (government) do treat them like pants, pay them less than most dustbin men and yet expect them to be prepared to die for us.

I don't know how I would feel about going and cheering them home, but I certainly wouldn't dismiss them out of hand. It isn't them personally that have caused the war, save your dismissal and anger for the people that sent them there who certainlya ren't getting shot at.

Anyway, sorry OP, that was kind of off topic!

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:14

I really (and I am serious!) don't understand why cheering returning troops from a warzone that I totally disagree with is ok? Why? Why?

Yes, they did their job well. So did the drain cleaners who came round our street today and sorted out all the mess from a blocked drain (and the smell!!). So did the binmen! So did I when I taught innumerate young women how to check out the interest rate on a loan they take out. So did dh when he looked after a dying patient at home today.

The soldiers followed orders and did somethng which I think makes my life in the UK less secure. I have no idea why I should cheer that? Really, none!

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:16

I think I don't like it because it glorifies war, and really, we should have got beyond that by now. War is shit. 19 year old men die. 22 year olds engaged to be married with a newborn they have never seen have their legs blown off.

What's to cheer?

pigsinmud · 28/04/2010 19:16

I'd rather send them to the opening of a cadet hut than welcoming soldiers home.

Yanbu - what a waste of time. I'd probably let mine go, but, I mean the opening of a hut - how bizarre!?

Pronoia · 28/04/2010 19:19

Weegiemum, I must ask what your job is - it sounds like I'd LOVE to do it.

cory · 28/04/2010 19:19

To appreciate the fact that they are putting their lives on the line, you first have to believe a)that this is desirable b)that we are actually going to benefit from it c) that the benefits we reap are great enough to outweigh the deaths of the people they kill.

If the war itself is not desirable, then the fact that they are risking their lives does not call for any more gratitude than the dangers run by a stuntman who runs a motorbike across the Niagara Falls. I may recognise that he is very brave, but I wouldn't actually feel called on to express any gratitude. And if other people were killed through his actions, I would feel even less inclined to gratitude.

Don't let's forget that today's soldiers (unlike the majority of those fighting Hitler) have choosen soldiering as a profession, that is, to fight any war, just or unjust, for money.

justallovertheplace · 28/04/2010 19:19

How old are your children?

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/04/2010 19:19

What I think (and I imagine that my opinion will change when I have a daughter in a warzone ) is that there are many professions were death and disablement are part of the job. The forces join upo knowing that there is a high risk that they will be deployed in a dangerous area and that there is a significant risk of being killed or injured.

Now, how it that much different from other jobs which have inherent risks, and which people volutarily choose to do (deep sea diver, oil rig worker, lumberjack, fisherman).

It may be a trite point but I think it is a valid one nonetheless.

cory · 28/04/2010 19:21

I repeat: I would be very happy to pay taxes to give those soldiers personally a better deal, I would not grudge them a penny. And I do think soldiers get a very raw deal.

But I do not see how you can separate cheering from expressing appreciation of the actual job done.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 28/04/2010 19:22

They didn't send themselves to war though.

Welcoming home is showing appreciation.

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:24

Pronoia, I work for a charity which does post-school education for women who left with no qualifications and in many cases with an inability to read and write.

I trained as a secondary teacher but do this as the hours are good and only 2 days a week while I have school age kids (and we'r elucky that dh earns a good wage so I can afford to work for a charity).

cory · 28/04/2010 19:25

Agree with Getorf's point about the fishermen. Whoever speaks of them as heroes or thinks it is unacceptable to criticise fishermen because of the risks they take? I have known lots of people who have died or been maimed trawling. Yet I have no qualms about speaking out against overfishing and don't think any sane person would take that as an offense to their memory.

weegiemum · 28/04/2010 19:26

They didn't send themselves.

They chose to become soldiers though. They weren't conscripted.

GetOrfMoiLand · 28/04/2010 19:26

I grew up in a fishing town cory. Every year at least one fisherman would die trawling. It's a shitty life.

cory · 28/04/2010 19:28

Add message | Report | Contact poster By FabIsGoingToGetFit Wed 28-Apr-10 19:22:21
"They didn't send themselves to war though."

They signed up for the army, which meant that they agreed to go and fight any war that the government told them, whether it was just or not. If you take a soldier's wages, that is the deal, is it not? Noone made them become soldiers. I admit that I would have a very different attitude if we had conscription in this country- but we do not. They did go to war by choice; if they did not want to have to fight, they should not have chosen that profession.

pointydog · 28/04/2010 19:28

Joining this late. Couldn't your dc join the throng but refuse to cheer etc? A little silent protest?

justallovertheplace · 28/04/2010 19:30

But are they old enough to make an informed choice?? How old are they? If primary school then I have my doubts

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 28/04/2010 19:30

I guess they assumed any war they fought would be supported by the country.

We will have to agree to disagree.

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