Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

TV in the spre room for MIL

41 replies

Pennies · 28/04/2010 11:35

My PIL comes to stay about 6 times a year - sometime for up to a week. They love TV.

We have 3 Tvs in the house already - one in the living room, one in the playroom and one in mine & DH's room.

MIL has asked to have one in the spare room.

When they're here I let them watch whatever they want to.

I don't really want another TV in the house, and we certainly don't need one. BUt MIL is helping us a lot with the children and I kind of see that she'd like to sit in the room and watch what she wants and I'd hate to be considerd inhospitable.

OP posts:

Lindy · 28/04/2010 11:39

Can't you just temporarily locate one of the TVs in MIL's room (sounds ideal as it will keep her quiet & out of your way in the evenings) - and as she is helping you it would certainly be generous and kind to do as she asks.

lucky1979 · 28/04/2010 11:40

Bit of a weird one - maybe she likes to go to sleep with the TV on?

I think it's a bit unreasonable for her to want you to buy a TV for her, but could you move the one from your bedroom into her room for the times she's there?

You should take it back if she just starts hanging out in her room and ignoring you in the evenings though!

Original poster

Pennies · 28/04/2010 11:41

Can't do that - they're all wall mounted.

OP posts:

sanielle · 28/04/2010 11:46

Go to your local boot sale. You can get a small one for under a tenner now. (we just sold our as we are moving and I had a quick loot at the prices of the others around us)

sanielle · 28/04/2010 11:47

*look! I did no looting!

OTTMummA · 28/04/2010 11:48

im sure you could get one free of freecycle or look in the paper for a cheapy one.
if thats not doable, say she is welcome to bring one and you will set it up for her.

I wouldn't ask for a t.v in my room as a guest if there were 3 others in the house.

and i wouldn't expect someone else to pay for a luxury i wanted either, that is just cheeky and rude.

maybe she doesn't realise you can't move the other T.V's?

I don't see a problem with her having one, just her expecting you to pay for a new one etc.

LoveBeingAMummy · 28/04/2010 11:49

Does she have a prtable one she can bring?

justallovertheplace · 28/04/2010 11:49

Yes, ask on freecycle. I gave mine away on there and was surprised it wasn't snapped up tbh. I think someone finally asked for it about 3 days after the ad went up. I think the market's a bit saturated now so you should be able to get a free or at least very cheap one

2rebecca · 28/04/2010 11:50

I think that is very demanding. I'm not a fan of TVs in bedrooms though. If she wants a TV in your house for her benefit then I feel she should pay.
I can't imagine asking someone whose house I stayed in as a guest to buy a TV for my comfort. With digital TV now they aren't that cheap.
I'd tell her she had to buy it and set it up, although I'd probably just say no as I don't do TV in bedrooms.

CiderIUpAndSetIFree · 28/04/2010 11:51

Have a look in local paper etc, there must be loads of the older fashioned ones about with all the flat screens coming in now.

Maybe she's conscious of not invading your space too much and allowing a bit of separate chilling time - a good thing surely!

Original poster

Pennies · 28/04/2010 11:52

It IS cheeky of her isn't it.

OP posts:

2rebecca · 28/04/2010 11:55

Why not have a shorter stay if you want chilling time though, or stay in a B&B? If any of my family asked this I'd think they were rude and would think that they should reduce how often they come (although we don't see each other that often, 6 weeks a year sounds loads to me). If they are mainly babysitting in school hols etc though then you may not want them to come less often.
Still seems rude to me.

pagwatch · 28/04/2010 11:56

They probably shouldn't have asked but I do know that when my mum stays she get very uncomfortable about the fact that she wants to watch TV that we are not interested in.

She knows she can put on the TV and watch whatever she wants but she feels awkward about it.
If it were my PIL and my guests I would do what I could to make them feel comfortable. Buying a cheap tv does not seem to burdensome. You have already chosen to have three tvs - it isn't as if you are anti-tv.

Say no if you want to but a) I like people staying in my home to feel comfortable and happy and b) already havingthree and making a thing of drawingthe line at four is a bit [meh]
I would buy a cheap one and stick it in the loft when they were not staying

seeker · 28/04/2010 11:56

Maybe she feels that she is imposing by watching her programmes while she is with you? Maybe she would like to be able to spend some time away from you all when she's staying for a whole week? Or maybe she's being a demanding cow? Whichever it is, I really can't see the problem with it - wouldn't you all get some space that way?

CiderIUpAndSetIFree · 28/04/2010 11:56

How did she put it when she asked?

happystory · 28/04/2010 11:59

I don't think it's that cheeky. Older people do get quite attached to the programmes they watch, certainly my mum does.

If my mum stays for any length of time the most eyerolling that goes on in this house is us all trying to find something we all like, or dh sulking in the kitchen cos BGT or Corrie is on AGAIN!

Maybe she finds the dcs a bit much sometimes and wants a retreat....

I'd buy a cheap one...esp if they are helping you out....

2rebecca · 28/04/2010 12:00

Digital switchover is upon us though so I can't see how an extra TV will be that cheap. Won't it need an earial connection as well? It sounds a major fangle to me, but then we just have 1 TV with attached digibox/recorder/dvd player, plus an analogue portable for bloke to watch sport on in the other room if he's mending bikes etc that will soon be obsolete.

CiderIUpAndSetIFree · 28/04/2010 12:04

I'd have thought there would be a lot of second hand digiboxes around now too, since the newer TV's have built in digi. We got rid of ours recently,

OTTMummA · 28/04/2010 12:04

but there are 2 t.v's she could use, why does she need/want to have one in her bedroom?!

if its a privacy thing, then she can use the second t.v in the playroom, can't she?

maybe i don't get it, i just can't watch t.v in bed lol.

If you get one for her, you never know she may ask for dvd player for her next visit, and/or sky+ to be installed lol.

Original poster

Pennies · 28/04/2010 12:09

The thing that rankles me though i that I'd never, as a guest, ask for anything like this. She doesn't spend 6 weeks a year here. She spends Xmas week, and has spent another week in Feb - the rest is just occasional weekends.

Yes I would have to sort out a link annoyingly.

She just asked outright. "because I want to watch telly in my room". The TV goes on downstairs from the moment they get up and I certainly never touch the controls so she chooses what she wants when she's up during the day.

I know it's just one TV and the expense isn't great but it's the principle of it IMO.

The bummer is that I did initally say yes (anything for a quiet life). So do I still have to honour that?

OP posts:

pagwatch · 28/04/2010 12:11

When my mum is staying she can't watch Emmerdale ( or whatever crap it is thats on at that time) in the playroom as DS2 will be using it.
She would not be comfortable using our room and so big tv in tv room is the only choice.
maybe that is the same with OP.

If it is not a cost issue I would weigh up happy visiting in laws who help with the children with the fact that persoanlly I don't understand their need for privacy.

I too feel the need to go and be on my own when visiting for any period of time but I tend to go and have a bath and read a book on my own. I think the PILs just have a different way of wanting private chill out time.

I think some of the posts are quite rude about relatives visiting. I think it is a key to good manners that visitors feel welcome and accepted. If you can't entertain guests withthat openess of heart then you should cancel the visits. I would hate HATE to think of someone staying in my home feeling anything other than happy and relaxed.

LittleMissHissyFit · 28/04/2010 12:12

Well you said yes, at least try and pick up a cheap one, if you can't find one then it'll have to wait till you do.

As you say, it's not like she visits every week is it?

Aussieng · 28/04/2010 12:15

You say that she's helping you a lot with the childen, you see that she would like to be able to sit in their own room (at times where presumably she and you FIL get a bit more privacy than in the playroom or lounge and can relax a little better and it is hard to get some alone time while a guest) and watch TV, as a PP mentioned you are clearly not anti-TV as you already have 3 and you clearly like TV in the bedroom as you have made sure that you and your DH are sorted on that score.

I do think YABU and really quite petty. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it just seems like such a non issue to me to give your PIL this one little thing (as many have mentioned cheap tv's are easy to come by) when they help you out a lot.

BecauseImWorthIt · 28/04/2010 12:18

If you've promised, then of course you have to provide one!

I can't see what the problem is really (although I can see it was possibly a bit forthright to have asked - but nothing my own mother would have done!); TV is obviously important to her, and it also means she can have a bit of time to herself, which she probably appreciates. I'm sure she loves your children, but children are exhausting if you're not used to having them around all the time, and she may want to retreat to her own room.

A small tv isn't really that much, and they are your family so surely worth investing in?

OTTMummA · 28/04/2010 12:19

My house is not a hotel lol, my guests will be fed well, offered tea/refereshments and have clean towels, bed linen and have free access to the T.V in the living room ( which we hardly ever use ) but i wouldn't get anyone no matter who it was a t.v unless they were staying for a longer amount of time than say 1 week.

when guest stay here, we go out, walk through the woods or if weather isn't great stay in and watch a dvd/film everyone agrees on or play games.

yes if you invite someone to stay you should do all you can within reason, but also as a guest you should be polite and undemanding.

asking someone to get you a t.v for your bedroom when your only there a week is IMO cheeky/rude.

Flip

1 2