to think that most of ds 20 month friends shouldn't be watching/don't need TV

[cityangel]

The other Mums of 20 months+ kids claim their children are obsessed with in the Night Garden & cbeebies etc, but surely at such an early age this only happens if the parents repeatedly show them TV?
Is it unreasonable to ask a play date parent not to have the TV when ds goes round?

YABU and narrowminded. some parents choose to let their DC watch tv and other don't. we can't all be the same!

If by playdate you mean you and your dc going to play at someone's house for a couple of hours, then I'd think it a bit odd to have the tv on in that context but I'm not sure I'd ask someone to turn it off in their own home.

I record stuff I'm happy for the kids to watch and let them watch one thing while I cook (dd is 3 and ds is 19m) otherwise no dinner would ever get cooked as the kids would be too busy climbing my legs and generally being cranky which is what happens here at about 5pm every day! They both love Mr Tumble which is very gentle and slow moving, and they've learned lots of signs from it, they love showing me the new signs they know and I don't. And coz its recorded, as soon as the programme finishes it stops, so not like watching endless cbeebies. I'd really chill out about the whole 'no tv before 2' thing as its not all junk and sometimes the peace it gives you is worth it!

Also its possible that your friends kids who are 'obsessed' have seen some of the merchandise. My dd is totally taken with peppa pig and always chooses peppa pig books from the library, and notices it out and about and other kids clothes, but has never seen it on tv.

LadyBiscuit - I agree completely.

Agree with the whole merchandising issue!!

DS adores ANYTHING with bloody Thomas on it. I absolutely refuse, point blank, to let him wear Thomas slogan t-shirts... it might be snobby on my part, but I just think slogan t-shirts are ruddy horrible!!!

but, we have Thomas vests, Thomas socks, Thomas slippers, Thomas PJs (you get the picture!!)

I, personally, wouldn't have the TV on when people came around because I'd want to chat and drink tea interact with the children but I still can't see what's wrong with kids watching a bit of TV... As cappucinocarrie says, there wouldn't be much in hte way of meals otherwise!!

I also wouldn't have the TV when we have friends over with children or a playdate. it's more polite to actually talk to your guests rather than staring at a TV but I don't think watching a small amount of TV is going to cause any real damage. each to their own though.

harimo - you don't have a mother then who kindly buys your DS Thomas clothing then? I am with you and wish the penny would drop but so far it's proving a vain hope

If you ever change your mind, I have lots I would gladly pop in the post to you

Ladybiscuit - I have trained my mother well and she now buys them useful clothes from Patagonia or Boden . Years of simply NOT wearing stuff she'd bought me if I didn't like it, and she knows I'm 10 times worse with the kids!!

but (Thomas t-shirts aside ) let me know if you are ever selling stuff - we are always in the running for Thomas stuff and it's SOOOO expensive!!

I am guessing this is your first child ?

You can't ask someone to turn off the TV when you visit. That would be rude. You are guest ans it is up to them what happens.

However, many people do turn TVs off when people visit out of politeness. Although when children factor in, sometimes it goes on for a few minutes wind down time.

TV is not evil. The odd show won't hurt them IMO.

However if you don't want your DS to watch TV - fine in your house.

"I wouldn't worry too much to be honest. You won't be asked round again so the problem will be self-limiting quite quickly! "

ha ha! yes, exactly.

SirBoobAlot
Patronising? I thought I was being pretty supportive actually and please feel free to start a new thread about it. If that's the way you make new members feel welcome, I mean. I quite take exception to your charges.
Thank you for your condolences however.

PFB?

Telly isn´t the devil!

I think an hour a day is fine.

If you asked me to switch it off I´d think you were precious, judgy and patronising and mightn´t ask you around again.

Then again, having it on all day would not be my cup of tea, but would never criticise in someone else´s house! (and asking have it off DOES imply criticism)

YABU

I wouldn't have the TV on when people came over - surely the point of a play date is to get the LOs to run around and tire themselves out a bit.

I would find it quite rude though if someone came round to my house and started telling me that their own parenting choices were superior different to mine and could I please comply with their choices while they were visiting.

You know, even if you are anti TV, I would really recommend recording or buying something suitable for if s/he is ever sick.
I was so pleased to have a Baby Einstein DVD when DD was vomiting all night long and too ill to want to do anything but sit on my knee quietly. I didn't want her to puke all over our books!

.

I think it is the height of rudeness to have the tv on when people visit (adults that is) - and I always had a no tv rule when little ones came to play - but it depends on the lenght of the playdate - if friends and their DCs came to stay then a bit of tv after tea and before bed could have a winding down effect.

Well, I wish I had the nerve, I think you're NBU. However,things will probably be said about you if you do it. My pil are habitual TV in the background people and fil put it on at my bil's house "for the football scores" (thinly veiled excuse) and "forgot to switch it off" after. My bil asked him to switch it off as Eastenders not suitable for their 6yo. I think he was NBU at all, but my mil tells the story in a bitchy way EVERY time we see her, embellished further every time, forgetting I was there. I haven't the nerve to tell her my bil was completely and utterly in the right, that I was there , that this is the umpteenth tme I've heard it and it didn't happen the way she tells it anyway. I'm glad you've provided me with an opportunity to share that, cannot discuss with any family member at all, usually can moan about mil to sil but clearly not in this case, it will get very awkward.

LOL at people thinking it is rude to ask for the tv to be turned off when your DC is there for a playdate. It would be rude to leave it on when you have guests of any age, IMO.

I guess it depends more on what your priority is - seeing that the tv is not left on, or worrying what some people might be thinking about you afterwards.

Poppy - your MIL is v. v. rude to be doing that, and v. unsupportive. Just yesterday afternoon I overheard my good friend at a playgroup telling another friend of hers (who was clearly slightly uncomfortable at the time as she had just asked friend1 not to give her young DD juice) about how I always ask for it to be turned off, and they were talking about how great it is that we are comfortable with our different styles!

yabu and somewhat controlling.
a bit of daytime tv will not compromise your dc's safety.
you never know, dc might even enjoy it

We are ever so precious about tv I think.

I agree not good to have it on all day, don't like it myself but some well chosen DVDs/tv progs won't do any harm.

Fine if you don't want your DC to watch it but you can't expect other people to comply unless they are employed by you, so on that basis YABU.

That was a general 'we' by the way. Not meant to refer to any group in particular.

FGS what is the big problem? Amazingly I manage to have tv on for the kids in the background whilst playing with them, Reading books with them, chatting to the friend that comes to visit and sometimes talking to them about what's happening in the programme!
And sometimes we turn off the tv and make music or go in the garden. And sometimes we'll go out and about to play centres , shops, farms, parks etc. I mean, really, why do some mums spend so much time worrying about one small thing?
If u came to mine and requested I switch the tv off, I'd think u were up ur own arse

Linziwam.....I agree with you, I just don't get why telly is such a huge parenting issue.

I let the kids watch tv while me and my mate have tea and gossip time....just because I have kids I have a life aswell.

As for the merchandise thing..my kids have loads of character stuff, they love it so let em have it. can't understand why some posters won't buy the t-shirts and stuff, your kid won't be harmed by it.