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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that at 6 years old

32 replies

outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 21:58

my DS1 is still young enough to share the shower with me and his 3year old little brother? or am i (as was suggested by loudly tutting neighbour after DS1 mentioned having shower with me this morning) damaging his psyche and probably turning him off women later in life....?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 24/04/2010 21:59

if you and he are happy, then it's fine!

some people are very ODD about children and nudity

I had someone on here tell ,e she would have called the police if she'd seen my 7yo skeetering around our garden with nothing on

taffetacat · 24/04/2010 22:00

I think when they are too old they will let you know.

I assume the neighbour was an old

Pikelit · 24/04/2010 22:01

You'll know when he doesn't want to share a shower. Because he'll go all coy and refuse!

HerBeatitude · 24/04/2010 22:01

No your neighbour is being unreasonable for freaking about it.

UnseenAcademicalMum · 24/04/2010 22:01

YANBU. Of course he is still young enough! How awful that the neighbour is twisted enough in thinking that at 6 years old children should develop hang-ups about their bodies and feel that they should hide their bodies away. Just ignore her.

Nemofish · 24/04/2010 22:03

When they are too old they will go 'eewwwww' at the mere suggestion.

winnybella · 24/04/2010 22:03

There two schools of thought about it among psychologists.
I always took the middle road ie not hiding my nudity, but then also not flaunting it, either. I mean, when he was that age, when he was 3 I used to walk naked around the house etc.
Now he's 8, and I think even two years ago, he would be a bit embarrased/ very curious to check everything out.
But no, overall, YANBU.

Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:03

no the neighbour is a 42 year old woman with a 5 year old son. She has however made several comments about the past two years about how she reckons my DS1 is "gay". To which i always reply "no he simply has good manners" with a pointed look at her own nightmare child....

OP posts:
baskingseals · 24/04/2010 22:04

of course he's not too old, that's crazy talk!

dd is 8 we had a bath together this morning. she still has baths with dh and her little brothers - poor girl.

Greensleeves · 24/04/2010 22:04

neighbour is pig ignorant

and "gay" isn't an insult fgs

just ignore her

MaryMotherOfManchego · 24/04/2010 22:05

She is clearly a loon with nothign better to do with her time.

Ignore.

winnybella · 24/04/2010 22:05

Sorry, actually he would be just embarrased, the curiosity was before way before that- that's normal and healthy.

Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:06

see i grew up in a house where if it had been possible you would have a shower or bath with your clothes on and i do not want that sort of body concious thing going on in my house but i don't flaunt it.

If he wants to share the shower with me and DS2 i don't see it as problem cos he doesn't do it all the time.

OP posts:
dearprudence · 24/04/2010 22:07

Both DH and I still share showers with DS who is nearly 8.

He is a bit shy about his body in front of strangers and other kids (eg: at the gym) but entirely comfortable with nudity at home. If he wasn't we wouldn't do it.

YANBU

Mowgli1970 · 24/04/2010 22:08

OP, why are you still conversing with this harpie after she's been so bitchy? I'd avoid her like the plague, nasty old bag.

baskingseals · 24/04/2010 22:08

actually now you mention it she is really fascinated by their willies - but I think fair enough willies are quite fascinating, and I don't think anything of it really. Is that wrong?

Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:09

thank you all - i was sure neighbour was just being her usual "know-all-knows-fuck-all" self but it has been on my mind today wondering if maybe its time he stopped....

besides which we are saving water too so its also good for the environment...?

OP posts:
Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:12

mowgli - her son and my son play together sometimes - haven't had a real conversation with her after a disagreement over whether or not her nightmare cheeky sly bully 4 year old was pinching my then 2 year old DS (who has a speech delay and doesn't articulate socouldn't tell on him)about 6 months ago

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 24/04/2010 22:14

send your neighbour round here, she'd have a field day with pre-teen DD and older teen DS having some very philosophical discussions whilst one is on the loo and the other in the shower. DD shuts him out at "certain times of the month" (as do I), but apart from that none of us cover up.

I do remember DS getting to a point (not sure when, possibly 8 / 9 ) where if I was naked he'd stare at my boobs/nether region. I asked him if he had any questions... no? Well, if you continue to stare at me like that then you won't be allowed in the bathroom at the same time.

YOu might get that with your DS. In the meantime, as said, if neighbour continues to tut, send her round here...

lisaleelu · 24/04/2010 22:17

No its fine

Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:20

lilolil - - if she tuts at me one more time i am seriously gonna pull her bottom lip up over her blooming head!!!!

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 24/04/2010 22:38

whilst happy to come and help you sort her out, am thinking you don't know why she thinks like this. Maybe she was brought up to think nudity between parents and children was evil (I know people who were brought up like this) or maybe she'd had some experiences which made her think like that. So, don't be too harsh, take a deep breath, parent your kids as you think is right, if ever unsure, post on MN, you'll get far harsher critics than her on here!!! Next time she tuts, just feel sorry for her, and her kids who are missing out. You are doing nothing wrong.

Original poster
outnumbered2to1 · 24/04/2010 22:41

awwww thanks lilio..... I'm single mum so i'm never 100% sure i am doing the right thing, but what you just said has made me feel loads better.

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 24/04/2010 23:01

hey, single parent or not, hard to know whether we're doing the right thing! Not sure what you neighbour's problem is, but always try to see things from the other person's point of view and realise people's views are informed by (often difficult) previous experiences.

You sound like a lovely Mum and a lovely person, be confident!!!

padraig · 25/04/2010 02:59

If I ever have a memory of having showers with my mum I will be mentally scarred for life. FOR LIFE.

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