To think that even if ex is "ill" he should still come for the kids?

[Sorce]

Ex is supposed to have the kids every fortnight from saturday to sunday. It runs like clockwork usually. So me and DP arranged to go out for a meal tonight and its al booked etc. Then ex text me last nigt to say he's "really ill" and might not be having the kids. I think this is crap because he's their father. When I'm ill I can't just say "I'm ill today, someone else will have to look after the kids". It really annoys me and I've been looking forward to going for this meal for weeks. I also suspect that the real reason he doesn't want the kids this weekend is because the football team is playing at home and its a "crucial" match and I think he'll be wanting to watch that in peace. AIBU to think he should get his arse here and take care of his kids whether he's "ill" or not?

(his idea of "ill" btw is a bit of a headache and a snuffly nose - typical man flu stuff)

I don't think that that's that unreasonable (that has to be very bad grammar! all those thats). But the bar for fathering is very low here........

Let's hope they don't come back with D&V or a lovely stinking cold .

YABU. Yes you have to look after them you're ill. So would he if he fell ill when he had them but he hasn't - he's already ill.

depends on how ill or infectious he is! inclined to think yanbu, would be very about that text.

It is not your dcs fault that you are not together. If you had stayed together and one of you was ill, then I assume that one parent would take the strain while the ill one rested. I don't see why that should be different because you are apart. I don't get the 'not my turn, so you'll have to sort something out' argument.

My exh and I have an arrangement for my DS which has a routine and allows us to both see him as much as possible, however, neither of us sees it as 'time on' and 'time off' and, just as you would have to cancel your plans if you were together and something came up, you have to cancel your plans to care for your DC now. You are apart, but you are still parents and that is a full time job IMO.

It is rotten trying to care for children when you are ill. If you think it's not fair because he wouldn't do it for you, then that's a conversation you need to have.

How dreadful Verity.
Was he like that when you got together with him?
And just intrigued as to whether these blokes have always been vile swines or if they go bad (or in your case, really bad) when relationship ends

OMG.
He sounds like a very dangerous mN.
So awful that small children have to be exposed to this evil behaviour.
I hope things are better for you both now.

Long may it last.
A happy childhood is a lifelong gift.