To just want to give up

[wook]

I know I am being unreasonable.
But I am so miserable! I can't see the point of anything and don't feel I have a future.
BUT my children do have a future and they need me. So I have to live because I have to live for them. And I have to smile and be happy for them. And I love them both so much.
But sometimes I just think I want to give up! Is that unreasonable or normal?

I am so sorry you feel like this wook, have you talked to anyone about it?You must visit your GP because there is a lot of help out there for you. What is it that is making you so unhappy - something specific, or just a general feeling? You poor thing.xx

normal in some ways

how old are your children

what is it specifically that is making you so down?

I think for people of a certain disposition (predisposed to depression) it is normal, to a certain extent. But how long have you felt like this? Is is something specific?

And you're not being unreasonable to have feelings - it's good that you are acknowledging how you are feeling, and telling people, that is the first step.x

wook you ok? How long have you been feeling this way? Could it be pnd? Mine didn't kick in until DS1 was about 4 or 5 months..
I don't think yabu, I think you are a bit depressed. My pnd manifested in the same way, DS1 was my reason for getting up but the rest just felt like crap.

Yes you do sound depressed. Of course you have a future - but I know that depression makes it practically impossible.

wook because you are doing such a good job you are feeling mentally drained and exhausted, be kind to yourself,you just need a bit of a break.

YANBU, obviously. But for your own sake, and for that of your children, please seek help about feeling like this. Your GP, a friend, Parentline, even the Samaritans. It is normal to feel drained and exhausted and miserable. But it sounds to me like this is more than that.

Good luck. There are other boards on here where you will find sympathy and empathy and people who understand what you're going through, too.

How are you feeling this morning wook?

You do sound awfully low... if you need to talk, we are all here.

FWIW, many, if not most of us have felt exactly like you were feeling. You DO have to keep going for the DC, you know that, just keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

Go see the GP, get some chemical help to get you through the worst and keep posting on MN... though perhaps not in AIBU...

come on wook talk to us, tell us more, I have felt just like you, overwhelmed, putting on a brave face etc etc. we can help.

wook, please see a doc and get some help, as you sound depressed, there is no shame in it. you obv love your kids, so do it for them

bless you, hope the clouds lift a bit

the anti deps DO help, plus other things

Wook... I take Berocca daily. It really does help me. I've been on AD but for me this seems to work better. You can buy it in the chemist. I was completely astounded that the way I was feeling could have been due to something as simple as a mineral deficiency. I couldn't see happiness in any situation at times.

I hope you get this sorted... Keep coming on and talking.

Sending you my best vibes .

Hey wook. Sorry to hear you're feeling so crappy - its horrible, that big black cloud, isn't it? Have you been able to tell anyone in RL how low you are?

It might be worth mentioning it to your HV next time you see her, or booking an appointment to see your GP. Seconding scarlotti, its possible it PND; there is a thread (that both BBL and I are on) in the Mental Health Section if you think it could be that.

Please keep talking - YANBU, but its not okay to yourself for you to be feeling this way. Big hugs.

shockers berocca eh?hmm, good idea!

Still thinking of you wook!

Aw thanks everyone, really kind and usefiul comments, especially considering that i was being very unreasonable!!
I think I may go to the doc this week if I don't cheer up- but really I need to just get over myself a bit- what is it that is really getting me down after all- just the usual things that everyone goes through. So I'm currently unemployed, (well, apparently unemployable!) and directionless- well, so are many, many people at the moment. I'm facing the fact that I have probably got to give up on my notions of career- well, lots of mums do have to reassess. I'm worried about my marriage- who doesn't worry when they've got young children? I feel a bit anxious and panicky sometimes and have the odd strange thought- hmm, normal for me, probably for most people to an extent.
Things could be a lot, lot worse! But I probably am mildly depressed as it doesn't take a lot to send me into a tailspin- on Friday it was another disastrous interview for a job I didn't especially want anyway. I'll start on the Berocca tomorrow!!

moodswings!
hopefully when I stop bfing they won't be so bad?

Ach, it gets to us all, wook, it all just got on top of you... The job thing on it's own is enough to piss you off... Try not to be so hard on yourself, anyone would have felt like that in mid-panic!

Go and have a chat with your HV or your Doctor and see what they say.

Come back and be as U as you like, whenever you need to!!

Hi wook
Think you need a big hug. YANBU [SMILE]
I started taking the mini-pill a couple of months ago and it made me feel so blue. So could it be something like this. It could be a hormonal thing. I stopped taking it and after a week I felt absolutely "normal" again.
Hope you feel better soon x

meant a
Think the job situaion is pretty dire at the mo, so don't think it's you. Something will come up, it always does.

ah wook i'm feeling similar overwhelmed and can't cope at the moment it's completely taken me by surprise. everything seems crap and i can't summon up any enthusiasm for anything. i'm bf ing too and havd 2 young dds and older ds and marriage that seems totally unfabulous! i like idea of berrucca imve never taken ad's cos i don't like idea of being medicated to cope with life. do they really work? how do you know if you're depressed or justifiably pissed off and stressed by rl?

Hi wook, YANBU and I totally empathise with your feelings and am in a very similar situation to you re: career and going into a tailspin easily. I too am going to get some Berocca!!
Hope you start to feel a bit better soon(interviews are awful)

wook, it is soul destroying to look for work in this market. I know of a few people in your situation. Try to hang in there. If ADs help, go for it. Hope the clouds lift soon.

shockers - how long did you take the Berocca for before you noticed a difference?? Do you take the fizzy ones in water (are there other kinds??). Could do with a pick me up... (maybe I need another Little Visitor - he helped )

Wook - sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees! I don't know if you are depressed, have PND or are just 'fed up' - so it's hard to know what to say, but hopefully if you feel like you can shift it, it is just 'fed up' - I hope it helps to know you are not alone x

Sorry to hear you're feeling so down, Wook.

I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager, and resisted taking medication for years, as I thought I should be able to 'pull myself together' and snap out of it. I know all the things I need to do to feel better, it's just that when I'm depressed, I can't do them. I've finally come to the conclusion that, for me, it's a chemical imbalance, and I take the medicine to correct that as I would for any other condition. My doctor told me that she finds it odd when people feel they mustn't take anti-depressants; they would take the medication to control diabetes, why not depression.

Having said that, I think people get different kinds of depression, for different reasons. Endogenous depression is when the depression 'comes from within' - you're depressed regardless of 'having nothing to be depressed about' or everything in your life being fine. That's what I have. Exogenous depression, on the other hand, is when you become depressed following life events such as bereavement, redundancy etc. You could term exogenous depression as a natural and valid reaction to difficult events, and it can also be a signal to you to take action and make changes in your life. In that scenario, I don't think medication is particularly helpful. Then, of course, there's PND, which as people have pointed out, doesn't always kick in until your baby is older.

If you have an understanding GP, it's probably worth having a chat with them; it might be that a course (say, 6 months)of anti-depressants would give you enough of a boost to set you back on track, or that there are other measures you can take that will do so. If you're uncomfortable with ADs, consider herbal medicines too; research shows good results for St John's Wort.

Mainly though, know that you're not alone, and that there are people there to listen and help you. I've felt, many times in my life, that I didn't want to go on any more, but I'm very glad I did carry on! It's so hard to see a way out when you're in the maze of depression, but I promise you there is one.

ChippingIn I take the tablet form as the fizzies have aspartame (sp?) in. I noticed a difference within a week... two at the most. The thing is... I was so tired and down that I couldn't function, so eating properly and getting outside just weren't happening. Now I've got more energy, everything else is slotting into place. I still have to give myself a shove to get out and about but I really enjoy it when I do.
Little visitor has helped because he's just such a cutie .

Wook... you sound really lovely. I think you should only go for jobs that deserve you from now on. x