Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel that this was just rude?

51 replies

Psammead · 23/04/2010 17:38

We had a meeting last night with the other parents (and babies) who attended the same ante-natal class as us. There were five sets of parents, and we'd all had girls.

We walked in with DD who was wearing blue dungarees and a hot pink tee-shirt underneath. In the light it could easily have looked red at first glance. One mum said 'ohh, at least one of us had a boy!' meaning DD. This didn't bother me in the slightest as it's almost impossible to tell the sex of small babies, so I said 'actually, she's a little girl too - meet DD!'.

The woman than proceeded to tell me that DD looks just like a boy, like really like a boy. And later on when people were trying to decide which parent each of the babies take after, she kept on saying that DD just looks exactly like my DH - that in fact, she could really just be a boy!

Obviously to me, DD looks like the prettiest girl who ever lived, but being objective about it, she just looks like a baby, really. Not especially like a boy.

AIBU to think this woman was just plain rude to keep bringing it up, after she'd been told that her guess was wrong?

I know it's silly and that it doesn't matter, but it's one of those things that's got to me.

OP posts:
2shoes · 23/04/2010 17:39

yanbu
sounds like she has issues

Eglu · 23/04/2010 17:40

Yes, I agree it was rudeto keep saying that. I'm sure she wouldn't have liked it if you kept saying something like that about her DD.

thehillsarealive · 23/04/2010 17:40

dont let it get to you, she really isnt worth the hassle.

Maybe in future you should dress her in pink frilly dresses and conform to stereotype.

Firawla · 23/04/2010 17:41

yes she was rude
i think the first comment was fine as she didnt realise but to keep going on about it is a bit much. maybe she felt silly for getting it wrong in the 1st place so felt she had 2 keep justifying that by saying your dd is extra boy like?? (some people are just weird like that)

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 23/04/2010 17:41

Sounds like she was trying to justify why she said she thought your baby was a boy. Let it go. It doesn't mean she has issues at all.

SusieCarmichael · 23/04/2010 17:41

yanbu she was rude

congratulations on your pretty baby girl btw

JaneS · 23/04/2010 17:42

Maybe she was embarrassed?

There's a theory that small babies do look like their dads as an evolutionary mechanism to reassure dads about paternity - no idea if it's true though. Maybe this lady just doesn't think boys are less pretty than girls, eh?

MrsYamada · 23/04/2010 17:42

Perhaps she was embarrassed about messing up in the first place and was trying to justify her comment? Or she's just wierd. Someone told me my DS2 was too pretty to be a boy once. I don't get it, babies just look like babies to me.

AngelaCarleen · 23/04/2010 17:43

yanbu, I'm sure your DD is just beautiful

Greensleeves · 23/04/2010 17:44

YANBU, but she was probably just embarrassed at getting it wrong

Psammead · 23/04/2010 17:48

I didn't really think of her being embarrassed. You're probably right - I say silly things when I am flustered too.

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 23/04/2010 17:52

IME, baby boys are prettier than baby girls. So they probably all look like Phil Mitchell

Jamieandhismagictorch · 23/04/2010 17:53

< makes OPs hackles rise again >

DeborahDevonshire · 23/04/2010 17:56

She probably had a moment of verbal diahorrea (sp?) and tried to justify her making that mistake, and just fluffed it.

Or she is an arsehole.

Either way, just ignore it, no harm done. I know how you feel though - dd was born with a mop of black hair and loads of people assumed she was a boy on the basis of that

JustAnotherManicMummy · 23/04/2010 17:59

She's probably mad-crazy from sleep deprivation and has no idea what she's saying.

Filter, ignore and move on.

NoahAndTheWhale · 23/04/2010 18:06

I think she is quite possibly cringing at home thinking "Did I actually say all that or have I imagined being completely daft". Also think sleep deprivation could have a part to pay.

waitingforbedtime · 23/04/2010 18:06

I am waiting for a thread to start saying 'why am I such an arse?' and recount the tale of this lady digging hersaelf deeper and deeper into a hole and being physically unable to stop talking!

Psammead · 23/04/2010 18:13

LOL @ Phil Mitchell!

OK, I feel cheered up now. Have put some pics of DD on my profile for you to judge! In one I think she looks a bit boyish, in one, quite girlish, and in her passport pic she just looks like a startled blob :P

waitingforbedtime that would be funny!!

OP posts:
Psammead · 23/04/2010 18:15

thehillsarealive I am shuddering at the idea of dressing her only in pink! There are so many nice colours out there. Besides which, her hair has a reddish tinge, so pale pink is not her friend :P

OP posts:
Pronoia · 23/04/2010 18:18

She looks like a baby!

LynetteScavo · 23/04/2010 18:18

LOL! I just clicked on your profile, and I thought the first picture I saw was your baby!

Anyway, on close inspection, your DD looks like a baby! She has lovely skin...I think my babies were really spotty and blotchy at that age.

minipie · 23/04/2010 18:30

YANBU. But baby boys are just as pretty as baby girls anyway so it's no slight to your daughter to be told she looks like a boy. As you say yourself, it's virtually impossible to tell them apart.

it would be different of course if your DD was 15...

Psammead · 23/04/2010 18:30

LynetteScavo - I snorted out loud at the thought of giving birth to a Psammead!!

OP posts:
SeasideLil · 23/04/2010 18:32

She is so cute, yay for redheads (obviously I am one too, but I have no redheaded children sadly). Take no notice of this woman, she is probably replaying that conversation in her head and cringing...

Wallace · 23/04/2010 18:37

She is beautiful I think she looks like a baby LOve the passport photo