to feel that this was just rude?

[Psammead]

We had a meeting last night with the other parents (and babies) who attended the same ante-natal class as us. There were five sets of parents, and we'd all had girls.

We walked in with DD who was wearing blue dungarees and a hot pink tee-shirt underneath. In the light it could easily have looked red at first glance. One mum said 'ohh, at least one of us had a boy!' meaning DD. This didn't bother me in the slightest as it's almost impossible to tell the sex of small babies, so I said 'actually, she's a little girl too - meet DD!'.

The woman than proceeded to tell me that DD looks just like a boy, like really like a boy. And later on when people were trying to decide which parent each of the babies take after, she kept on saying that DD just looks exactly like my DH - that in fact, she could really just be a boy!

Obviously to me, DD looks like the prettiest girl who ever lived, but being objective about it, she just looks like a baby, really. Not especially like a boy.

AIBU to think this woman was just plain rude to keep bringing it up, after she'd been told that her guess was wrong?

I know it's silly and that it doesn't matter, but it's one of those things that's got to me.

She was embarrassed by her mistake so she kept going on about it in the hope that others would agree with her to make her feel less stupid. She sounds like a rude and insensitive person. It would have annoyed me to but try and let it go. She isn't worth the energy.

Thank-you! She DOES look exactly like a baby - funny that!

Wallace When we got the passport pic done, the man who took it had no sense of humour whatsoever. I was crying laughing at her blobby face and deer-in-headlights expression, and he was totally deadpan. Made it funnier :P

She looks beautiful (and really funny in the passport shot).

Silly woman was maybe cack-handedly trying to recover?

My dd was forever being mistaken for a boy. Probably because she rarely wore pink and that seems to be the only way people can tell. They all look a bit like Winston Churchill otherwise.

People often thought my daughter was a boy when she was a baby because I dressed her in a mixture of colours rather than just pink, and I didn't put her in dresses really. It's hard to tell with babies, I don't find they usually look either particularly girlish or boyish, they just look like babies.

I never mind people thinking DD is a boy because it's so hard to tell when they are babies but would be annoyed if I corrected someone and they kept going on about it. I just looked at your photos and your DD really is a very cute, happy looking baby (who IMO looks like a little girl!) Congratulations on such a sweetie and ignore the silly woman.

She definitely looks like a beautiful little girl (I have a red headed dd too, so I am completely biased). I agree the woman was probably embarrassed at her mistake so tried to justify her comment and dug herself in deeper.

It is worse the other way round- ds has lots of brown curly hair and at a year old an old lady saw him sleeping in his blue buggy in his blue jacket and said 'Awww, she hasn't a care in the world, has she!'
I shaved off his beautiful curls and it worked, he look like a male. A male serial killer that is. So now I let his hair grow and don't care, dd is still nearly as bald as a coot at 13 months, so maybe his hair will be all I can put in bunches [sob!]

Aaaw, she's cute

Aw Psammead, she's gorgeous! I was slightly worried that she was the hairy creature on your profile, in which case the woman would have been immensely tactful!

But she is very cute!

What cow, labouring the point like that! Your LO is very cute, definitely looks like a girl!

I once took DS to a mother and toddler group and he'd thrown up when I got him out of the car so I shoved him in the only outfit I had, a pink frilly dress. Everyone wanted to cuddle the cutesy wutesy lickle girl.

My friend was there and she was wetting herself laughing, especially when I had to change him at the end of the hall and several mummies eyes nearly popped out when they copped an eyeful!!!!

whomovedmychocolate

Similiar has happened to me & dd. I felt really hurt about the comments. Would say just ignore what she said.

DS was forever being mistaken for a girl as he had hair at a young age and quite often wore red tops. I've never been offended as I'm the world's worst at telling what sex babies are even if they've been colour coded!

These days I stick with 'oh, what a beautiful baby' instead of boy/girl. No-one has taken offence...yet

When I had a baby, I was completely off my head with hormones and sleep deprivation, and the sensible people around me ignored 95% of anything I said that was at a higher level than 'Can you get me a drink of water?'.

In turn, I should have ignored 95% of anything anybody said at post-natal groups (which IME have something of the atmosphere of a group hostage situation in which everyone is trying to make small talk and completely ignore the fact they have been kidnapped by aliens).

It was rude of her, she may well be fairly annoying even when she hasn't just had a baby, but you have to tell yourself she was suffering from post-pregnancy insanity and let it go. (Although, if you have to get revenge, trust me, there will be plenty of opportunities in the coming years to find something that your DD does or is that will make her feel inadequate. )

(BTW Tellhimhesdreaming I LOVE your name - one of my all-time favourite films.

It's harder this way round. I have had both and it's def easier when people mistake your boy for a girl as used to happen to me with my son when he was younger and had blonde curls! Took it to mean he was pretty which is no bad thing.
However when at the hairdressers the very first time I put my baby daughter in unisex colours (white, brown and green) I got this from the receptionist:

"Whassee eating then?"

"she's eating a fig"

"A fig?! Duzzee like that then?"

"Well yes, she does"

"Well I'm surprised he likes that.."

"She. is. a. girl."

"Oh! Really?"

"yes, really"

"Why'd you dressim, um, her in boys clothes then??!" etc.... like she didn't quite believe me!

YANBU.

I'm in the "babies look like babies" boat tbh, but even if I did think your DD looked like a boy I wouldn't bring it up more than once.

I mean my God, even my DP has more tact than that!

I thought all babies looked like Winston Churchill?

Apparently I bawled my eyes out aged 2 when my Dad's work colleague said I was a nice little lad.

yanbu.... she was probably jealous that your dd is prettier than hers

She's adorable. Baby passport pics always make me smile! Seems to be so very grown up of them to have a passport.
The woman is probably tossing and turning in bed, cringing at the memory of herself saying all that.

When ds3 got his passport photo done aged 9 months, it took nine goes because he kept sticking his tongue out! Even the one which was deemed acceptable shows his tongue sort of half-out, I was very relieved they accepted it! Ds4's was taken at 3 weeks and crying in the photo was not allowed so we managed to get him in a sort of pre-crying grimace.

I recall dressing my LO all in pink once only to have her cooed over by a couple of elderly people saying "Awwh isn't he a gorgeous little boy?!" They looked very confused when I pointed out my Lo was in fact a girl, and that the colouring of her clothing was a big hint!

sounds like the woman put her foot in it and then tryed to keep justifing her words by telling you her mistake was obvious it was your babies fault for looking like a biy regardless f what the baby looked like.

woman usually have programs in their brains to make them think that there baby is the most beautiful regardless of how the baby actually looks