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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

children playing out

48 replies

maggie61 · 22/04/2010 17:54

At what age do people think it is ok to let children out unsupervised ?
My dd is 7, she plays out with a group of others 7-11 years, at the local park 2 mins walk from home, the people that live next to the park have children in her little group, we live i a village and most people know us.

The reason i ask is our neighbour says next time he sees her out without us he will ring social services, i shall ring them myself tomorrow to see their stance, just wondered what others thik, thanks.

OP posts:
weloveyoumisshannigan · 22/04/2010 17:59

My 6yo doesn't play out unsupervised partly because he is a mummysboy he doesn't want to and the only boy in his class at school who lives in our street is 'a meanie' and ds won't play with him. There are some dcs playing out in my area from about 5yo but there are loads of 7-8 plus dcs.

I am hoping to get ds out a bit more in the summer holidays but he doesn't go to the local school so he doesn't have people to play with really.

weloveyoumisshannigan · 22/04/2010 18:00

What did you say when neighbour said that

ditavionteased · 22/04/2010 18:01

your neighbour sounds charming, only you know how grown up your child is.

hobnob57 · 22/04/2010 18:03

I let dd (3) play out on her bike as long as she is with the older kids next door and I check on her periodically (she has clear boundaries). But we live in a really safe & community-spirited area.

FairyCakeBump · 22/04/2010 18:06

YANBU.

What did you say to your neighbour?

I'd tell your neighbour you'll call the police if he continues to show such a suspicious interest in your 7 year old... Maybe that's a bit evil though.

Sassybeast · 22/04/2010 18:06

I would happily let a 7 year old play outside their own house. I wouldn't let a 7 year old go to a park with 11 year old kids -too much potential for daring/egging on/being PITA to be honest. The 11 year olds I know don't 'play' in the park - they just hang around trying to look cool/surly/

motherbeyond · 22/04/2010 18:07

i'm not at that stage yet.can't see me letting her leave the road we live in though.i definitely wouldn't let her out on her own at 3!!! we live in a village too,and our neighbours are lovely...but still

ZZZenAgain · 22/04/2010 18:08

we get so many threads about this. I personally would not have let my dd play out at 7. She wouldn't have been happy about it (at least not initially) and I would not have been comfortable.

Where we lived (Berlin), there were no kids at all playing out at that age anywhere near us so it would have been odd. She would have been roaming about alone and I wouldn't frankly have seen much point in it. Now she is 9 and she goes off to various (but not all) activities alone. I accompany her to some still. Where we are now, kids go to each other's houses but not out and about without parents as such.

Dpends so much on where you live and what it is like for kids there, also generally how much of a culture of dc playing outdoors exists. If most dc do, why is he selecting your dd? Is she very small for her age so he thinks she is much younger than the others or has he observed something you perhaps do not know about?

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 22/04/2010 18:09

Bloody hell, I think I would get your daugther to ring the neighbours bell every day for a week and run away or put rotting fish in his wheelie bin.... It is not illegal or negligent to let your kids play out. Seems parents are damned if they do and damned if they don't on this one.

I let my 8 year old go to the shops unsupervised on occasion and buy some bread and milk on occasion. Yes, he survived, came back with no change though as he had worked out there was just enough for a bar of choc too.

shockers · 22/04/2010 18:35

Has he seen anything that has given him cause for concern? Does she have to cross any roads to get to the park?

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/04/2010 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AliGrylls · 22/04/2010 18:40

The world has gone mad. Yanbu.

piscesmoon · 22/04/2010 18:50

YANBU-next time he says it, tell him to go ahead and ring social services.

madhairday · 22/04/2010 18:51

I let my 9 and 6 years olds out the front together (9 yr old can go on own but not 6 yr old) but we are in a cul de sac round a green area and other dc in the area play out, can also see them most of the time and no roads etc to cross.) I let dd out on her own from 7, this was mainly on her scooter up and down the street.

Your neighbour has no idea. I think dc need to play out from a certain age. It's a bit scary at first but important for their independence and freedom.

piscesmoon · 22/04/2010 18:52

I expect that the neighbour just wants all DCs indoors, on their computers, so that he doesn't have to see or hear them!

MintHumbug · 22/04/2010 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pronoia · 22/04/2010 19:11

I don't let my 7 year old go to the park without me.

satc2bringiton · 22/04/2010 19:11

My 2 play out alot (9 and 6), the 9yo can go off a bit further but he tells us before. The 6yo stays where we can see him or he goes in one of the neighbours houses.

Agree it depends on the child and the area.

zazizoma · 22/04/2010 19:11

Goodness gracious, if you're comfortable with it, it's fine. I agree with AliGrylis; the world has gone mad.

Takver · 22/04/2010 19:15

Would be totally fine by me in the circs you describe.

We moved here (small rural town) when dd was 7, was happy for her to play with children in the estate behind our house or walk the sort of distance you describe, and plenty of other children her age at school were doing the same or riding their bikes up & down the road.

I reckon your neighbour is a grumpy git as picesmoon says!

HappyMummyOfOne · 22/04/2010 19:16

We live in a semi-rural cul-de-sac area but I dont let DS (just 7) play out alone - would not let him go to the park without an adult.

megapixels · 22/04/2010 19:16

I wouldn't let mine go, but you know how yours is, and how the neighbourhood and children are in general so you'd know best. Nobody plays out in our neighbourhood so it's not an issue anyway, am actually secretly quite relieved about that.

didgeridoo · 22/04/2010 19:26

I let my dd play out at age 5 in the street only. She then progressed to the next street at 6 & the park around the corner at 7. We live in a safe community, roads are quiet & have lots of speed bumps etc. Most of her friends did the same although not all of them were ready. You know your child & whether she can cope. I think it did my dd's development the world of good. She only pushed the boundaries once when she went off further than we said was allowed. We came down very hard on that occasion & haven't had any trouble in that respect since. We gave her a walkie talkie, which had it's pros & cons, but I felt happier for it. She doesn't have one now (she's 11).

I say go for it. Your neighbour has clearly never been a child his/herself

MeMudmagnet · 22/04/2010 19:28

I think it depends what the situation is like where you live, how sensible your dcs are and how comfortable you are with it.

It's certainly got nothing to do with your neighbour and I'm sure social services won't interested unless they're scaring old ladies

AnyFucker · 22/04/2010 19:29

I wouldn't let a 7yo play out with only 11yo's to supervise him

I wouldn't judge/interfere if somebody else did though...you see it all the time

Tell your kindly neighbour to fuck right off

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