to be furious with DH over something so small?

[Fel1x]

I am really really cross over this. I know its only a small thing really but its infuriated me!
DS1 is starting primary school this year. We had put him down for a very highly sought after primary near by as our first choice and another more realistic choice as second choice.
we find out today where he got allocated.
I said to DH first thing this morning that I was expecting the email today and nervous to see where we had been allocated. There was no email when I left to take DCs out and DH started work.
About 2 hrs later I got the email on my phone and texted DH straight away (as well as 2 friends) saying 'DS has got st marks!!!' (St. Mark's is the name of our first choice). Both friends replied straight away saying comgratulations and how pleased they are. Dh replied saying 'not sure what you meant to write but think its a typo.. what has DS got?'
He is basically so bloody disinterested in the whole thing that he couldnt even figure out what I meant! I would bet a million pounds that if I hadnt texted and then didnt say anything all day he would not have mentioned it again as it wasnt on his mind.
He thinks I'm completely unreasonable for being so cross as I didnt put St. Mark's with all the capitals and the apostrophe so there was no chance he would be able to recognise it. I think it shows a basic lack of interest in anything thats going on with the family and if my friends could figure out what I meant, then so should he!!! FGS he came to the school with us to look round it so should know full well what its called!
Am aware that I probably sound a little unhinged, but this is the latest in a long line of him 'not remembering' things and me feeling like he just doesnt take enough of an interest!

I occasionally feel similar - I am so involved in the detail of the DCs life and it's so frustrating when he doesn't even get the fairly big stuff. However you will sound unhinged if you bring it up, sorry. Have you explained it to him? If not, I'd be tempted not to mention it, and see how long it is until he wonders where your DS is going to school in September

not unhinged but perhaps a little over-reactive - but I feel your pain. DH has similar "I'm not really listening or paying attention to anything you're saying or what's happening in our lives" issues. I counter them with sarcasm (childish I know) or answering my own comments thus "that's great Thumb, he did what? Fab" which always gets his attention again.

Have you asked him why he is so uninterested? Or does he just have a very stressful busy involved job at the moment?

Congratulations on your DS getting your/his first choice, btw.

Straw on Camels back, sound of breaking..........

When this happens in our house, the Enough Monster usually pays DH a visit to put him in the picture.

Works for me!

I guess he knows that you have it all sorted, so it's another thing he doesn't have to worry about.

Perhaps you should take it as a compliment .

Mouseface, explain!

TBH I would think he had some sort of rash with that text first of all - maybe that's what came into his head first and honestly didn't put two and two together?

Which bit?

big sigh - relationships are tough aren't they?

make me feel unhinged at time too.

Mouseface I like the sound of the Enough Monster - better all round than the "FFS -let me outta here before I maim/go completely crazy!!!!!!" monster!

StealthPolarBear - if you mean the Enough Monster, she lives deep within me and only comes out when all other avenues of "can you, will you, have you" have been exhausted!!

The point of no return is usually enough for her to rear her ugly "I'm only going to tell you this once" head!!!

Spares the DCs from having to clean up DHs spilled guts!!

isn't this a little bit like: being 'mum' and seeing to all the details of the kids lives is sort of your job (or one of them if you work elsewhere as well). but you have nobody to reflect on it with you, give praise or support. essentially you are expecting DH to act that role for you because nobody can live in a vacuum, you need to feel that your cares are cared about elsewhere. you're angry because you feel he doesn't value any of the things you spend hours agonising about and making happen - although he benefits from it all as the co-parent.

if he's a bit work-dude. i wonder if you explained the situation to him in those terms whether it would make sense? anyone who's had management training knows the importance of supporting and praising your staff. i spect he has no end of managers and minions who hang on his every word and carry out his commands, or tell him he's great. but you don't have anybody doing that for you at the mo and he hasn't really put his behaviour in context.

by the way i don't mean to suggest that he is your 'manager' and you his 'staff' - just trying to give it context! maybe i should have said 'co-worker'...

YABU. If he's at work then his mind is probably distracted.

It's not like you texted him saying "Happy Anniversary" and he replied saying "what anniversary?"

This highlights just how easy it is to get into emotional trouble/furies/misunderstandings, when communicating by txt.

If only the word 'into' had been included in your text he probably would have got it:

'DS has got st marks!!!'

vs

'DS has got into st marks!!!'

modern world, etc etc

Downdog I agree, My DH would have read that as shit marks at something!
This is typical in our house, took me years to "get" that DH lives on a different planet to us, even though I work and run the house.
Its not his fault its his testicles.

oh i know, am most likely being a twat
DH did indeed think it said something like skid marks and then wondered if DS had a rash
I just would have hoped that seeing as we only spoke about it 2 hours previously he might have spared a little thought towards the whole thing! but hey ho, thats life.
Am stressed and cross in general at the moment so am fully prepared to acknowledge that i am overreacting here....

I would have been confused too TBH.

I wouldn't be cross over it though. It's just a minor failure of communication and a mismatch of enthusiasm. I'm sure he'll be pleased as you want when he has had time to digest it.

Hmm, think this is how DH's are. Mine is lovely but can't carry cricket scores, physio appointments and children's names in his head all at once.

I have tried getting cross but now acknowledge (after 15 years of marriage and 4 children) that he is on a different planet to me and the DC's.

In defence, the message wasn´t that clear imo.

Also, whilst busy at work he may have other things on his mind.

secondcoming - i think that's grounds just to send him to work wiht the 2 year old isn't it? or tell him to take a sickie. fgs

Um, I think OP's DH has quite a healthy attitude, actually. What if OP's child hadn't got into Desirable School; would there be any point in both OP and her husband being despondent about it?