to not want to go round to in laws twice a week every week

[sunshineandrain10]

I get along with my parent in laws really well, they're nice people but I just dont think its necessary to go round twice a week, EVERY week on set days. I have suggested that we go round just once a week, however DH insists its not enough that DD (8m) only see them once a week.

Its not easy, as everytime we have to go I have to pack/unpack DD food bag, change bag, toy bag etc. On one of the days that we go there, DH goes to work so its just DD, MIL and I at home the whole day (thats from 8am until 6.30pm) and there isnt much to do apart from maybe go outside for a little walk. FIL is at work and MIL doesnt even get to spend much time with DD (maybe a couple of hours) on that day as she has housework and cooking to do and also do a school run for DD's cousins and then look after them after school. DH has said to me to join a baby group in that area so both DD and I dont get too bored, but I'd rather go my regular baby group or join a new one in my area that runs on that day, if DD and I are going to make new friends I'd rather they live in our local area, IYSWIM?

Another thing is DD will only sleep properly in her cot and she needs lots of sleep (two 1 1/2 naps during the day and 11-12 hours at night, which btw Im very grateful for) otherwise she gets very grouchy, and she will not sleep for very long elsewhere, maybe an hour at most. So I have to deal with her grouchiness all by myself with no DH to help.

When we put DD to sleep there at 7pm, we leave to come home at around 9sh and this disturbs her as we have to move her into car seat, get her out, put her in cot at home, she usally settles well back to sleep but I dont like disturbing her sleep, I know I wouldnt like it someone moved me around whilst I was sleeping!

I also go round to my parents, but thats whenever I want rather than a set day/time, sometimes its once a week or sometimes its twice but DH usually only comes for a couple of hours after work.

So am I being unreasonable? I have tried to comprimise before by offering to go once one week and twice the week after but seems like theres no compromising with DH as PIL's seem to get really upset when we dont go round. I have also suggested that they could come round (they've only been round ours about twice since DD was born) as it would be easier, no moving DD and her stuff around, but that hasnt worked either.

Thanks for reading and sorry its so long, my first post so wasnt really sure how best to word it

I agree Rebecca, no before baby we didn't go round that much, not even once a week sometimes (probably because we were both working and wanted weekends to ourselves). I think as DH was really close to his GPs (so was I though), he wants the same for DD but this set up obviously isnt working and making me unhappy.

He doesnt get to tell me what to do with anything (infact, I'm very stubborn and always get my way with most things ) but with this he made feel bad by saying DD wont get to see her GP's enough so I just went along with it for her sake. After a few weeks I thought, this is just silly, she isnt even spending that much time with MIL so whats the point! MIL also works p/t so I did wonder if she even wanted us there on her off days and was just going along with it for DH's sake but they genuinly get upset when we dont go round (MIL and FIL would call asking why we havent gone round, we've already cooked dinner for you guys etc..). But like someone else said, they'll get used to it and when DD is a bit older, she can go and spend whole days there with DH.