to think we have traumatised our child?

[tryingtobemarrypoppins2]

Ds 2years 5months has had eating issues since around a year old after a sickness bug. As a result he has never taken calpol etc as he sees it as being forced to eat something he doesn't want to etc, as a result if he has a very very high temp we have had to resort to suppositories, This is after always trying to explain why he needs medicine, eating it ourselves, giving a chocolate button, etc etc etc. He hates us when we have to do it and I always feel terrible.

He is very very fussy but getting loads better. During the last 2 weeks we have been trying to get him to eat with us all together at tea time and he has been a star, eating new foods etc, really pleased. However this has made him terribly constipated, nothing now for 7 days so doctor has given Lactose and suppositories. He has been in so much pain and just can't understand why we are putting these things in his bum.

We have explained etc etc but he is so upset. I can see this causing toilet training issues and I am so worried and feel so bad. AIBU to feel this situation really may cause him to be traumatised?

not much experience, but didn't want you to feel ignored. I promise that at this age he wont remember.

sexbombbikerchick (fab name BTW) Thats what DH says but you here about adults with issues always say it started in childhood

He wont be traumatised once his bowel movements get regular and unpainful. Give it time, and he will forget. And feel a hell of a lot better for not being constipated.

INcidentally, lactulose didn't help ds1's constipation. He was rather traumatised as a result of the constipation - withheld, it hurt when he did go, he had leakage and generally meant we had to delay potty training by a good 6 months.

What did the trick was movicol. Was fantastic. But he wasn't great at drinking it, so we had to make it up into a very strong dose by mixing the powder with about 10ml of ribena and giving it to him in a syringe, which may be hard for you given his aversion to syringed medicine.

It's rotten for you and him, but hopefully the meds he has will help. Much better to beat the constipation than to leave alone - constipation way more traumatic and longer lasting.

Where I come from suppositories were and still are the norm, and millions of children had suppositories and have not been traumatised whats whoever.

Thank-you pooka I'll ask the doctor about that tomorrow....just not sure how I would get it into him. lactulose I can mix into milk and he doesn't notice. Did it take 6 months to ease his symptoms??

What even if you have to do it against their will BrigitteBardot??

He says it hurts BrigitteBardot

surely syringing meds in by force is less traumatic than sticking something up his bum by force?

Oh no, just a few days to ease the basic constipation (I think, was only a year ago but have since had ds2 and all seems like a bit of a blur). It did take longer for him to be aware of when he needed to poo - he'd got completely confused by the leaking and rather scared of the act itself, so was a slow process of just taking things at his pace and waiting for him to be "reliable" and ready in himself for using the loo.

With movicol, you can adjust the dose to suit the purpose - clearing impaction vs a maintenance dose IYSWIM. DS started on 3 sachets. Quite quickly we were able to reduce to 1 and then just 1/2 for a while until we were certain that things had normalised. We still have a large supply, and I tend to take a few sachets with me when we go on holiday. IT did seem that every time we went away (always to Cornwall), he came back constipated. I think ti was a mix of different water (??? maybe) and a longish car journey in seated position. Apparently lots of exercise is good for constipation - run it out! Lots of water too.

Young kids don't necessarily have the inherent squeamishness that we have about bottoms and suppositories.

In the continent, loads of childrens medicines are given in suppositories. I uppose if it is the norm you don't see it as strange or traumatic.

Personally I think having medicine forcefully syringed into mouth would be pretty scary - potential for choking (or perceived potential on the part of the child, particularly if a vomiting incident has scared them in the past).

Would it be an option to try and get the suppository in at night when he's well asleep?

When he says it hurts, is he perhaps confusing the sensation of the suppository with the ache of the constipation? He may be.. COuld you use a lubricant to help?

Thank-you pooka really helpful posts. At night is a great idea.

bronze The reason why syringing doesn't always work is that he gets so upset he chocks, its a real mess and then we have no idea how much he has taken.

Do you think this is normal? Or rather do you think I should be really concerned about his fear?

TTBMP - I know he is only little, but they understand a lot more than we sometimes give them credit for. I would explain to him that he has to have the medicine - that is not a choice - but he has the choice to use the syringe himself or you will have to put them up his bottom for him.

He is old enough to understand that and at least he will have some control over it

Prune Juice anyone?

My DH comes from Germany and I had my first DS there - perfectly normal to give suppositories. I think DH hasn't been scarred or DS1.

I went on a diet recently and had some constipation for a bit. They told me it was because I had started eating a lot more fibre in the form of fruit and veg etc and it would take a bit for my body to figure out how to deal with it.

I think that children at this age are very good on picking up on their parents anxieties and on pushing their buttons too! Sometimes I think that I might be traumatising DD1 22mo by forcing her to sit in her car seat and wear a seatbelt - but hey I am the boss and what choice is there?

Do they do a form of the senna chocolate for kids? That would work! Feel so sorry for you, my little girl had bad constipation and used to spend ages reading stories on the loo, cuddling etc.

Hmm! I would say that if he hasn't been by tomorrow then maybe ask for a paed referral. Bless him he must feel so uncomfortable now and unfortunately it may be painful when he does go just because any poo will be hard now.

What you may find (although not necessarily) is that he remembers it being uncomfortable and so withholds next time too. Discuss Movicol with the GP - it's excellent at keeping everything soft so that pooing is easy.

You may need to continue it for a good while until he loses the association of pooing with discomfort though.

We had to go down the Movicol route too.DS1 has ASD,very mild,but real issues with food.If we go away he gets very constipated.He gets one sachet am and pm to keep him regular.If becomes conctipated-at the beginning this happened alot,until we started giving the two sachets daily-you need to do a full clear out.This involves a week of gradualy increasing the amount of movicol,until bowel is clear.going from 4 to 12 sachets in 5 days.We give ours in Fruit Shoots,he downs it quickly no fuss.This clearing out will give them diarrhoea,but stick with it,then keep going with the 2 sachets daily-you can reduce it to 1 if you think you need to.Problem solved! Oh,and don't forget,you can have diarrhoea and still be constipated.The constipation can be very high up the bowel,so don't think,"oh,he has done a few runny poos,musn't be constipated anymore..."stick too the clearing out routine.Sounds like he is making great progress with the food,well done.

I come from a country where thermometres were always inserted into your bottom, never into your mouth. While I don't suppose any of us actually liked it, we haven't grown up traumatised either.

If you think about it, most children have something unpleasant happen to them at some time or another. Most of them manage to grow up into fairly calm well balanced adults.

Do what you have to do, comfort him as best you can and do not feel guilty.

Sounds like you are doing really well in a stressful situation. The positive thing is he is enjoying food with the family. I have no idea how I would work up towards putting a suppository in my toddler's bum! FWIW, I would take him to GP if he hasn't had movement in a couple of days - maybe less depending how long its been. What about your HV? Are they available by phone to give advice?

Anytime DD has been a bit slow with poos, I have got her moving around lots, doing bicycle movements (she finds this hilarious) and drinking plenty of water/squash. I found swimming always makes her poop less than a couple of hours afterwards - seems to be the resistance against the water.

I use movicol for DD (18mths) and I put it in her milk and she drinks it without comment.

So I would assume you could easily do the same as this is how your DS is taking the lactulose at the mo.

(One sachet in 4oz milk btw)

have you tried a syringe? DC (also 2 ) hates drugs so unfortunately we have to hold him down an syringe it into his mouth. Its traumatic but I'd guess its easier than up his poor little bottom?

also what about raisins? sure fire poo provider

anyway dont feel guilty, this will pass.....

My dd hated the taste of calpol so my doctor gave us soluble baby paracetamol tablets which can be dissolved into some juice. I have found this very helpful and don't know why more dpctors don't do this as I'm sur lots of children dislike calpol

DD1 was on Movicol for nearly 2 years, as she had an immature bowel and suffered dreadfully from constipation. We did have ti use the glycerol suppositories a few times and she hated it. However, we explained that we had to do it to get the poo to come and that her sore tummy would ease after it, so she would let me do it. She cried all the time though, and wouldn't let DH do it.

She's now 6, and does not appear to be scarred by all this at all. She is quite aware of the need to drink lots, more so than most children, to keep the constipation at bay. She's been medication-free for almost a year.

When you're inserting the suppository, do you put it pointy-end first, BTW? It does actually go in (and stay in place better) if you put it in blunt end first, although that does seem counter-intuitive.

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I agree with pichounette about not confusing your feelings around the situation.

Unfortunately, the treatment is a necessary evil if you like i.e. the consequences of not clearing the bowel will be worse for him than the treatment suggested.

I have found chocolate buttons to be 'magic' for encouraging taking medicine . Alternatively, could you mix it with a small amount of yoghurt?

I have found the key to ds' longterm constipation problems to be lots and lots of water and running around. Ds gets rewards for drinking water rather than doing a poo because he has control over how much water he has.

I wouldn't worry yet about toilet training yet. Get his bowels clear and him pooing regularly and painlessly before even considering it.

Most liquid medicines can be added to milk and drunk. Maybe that would help?