to think we have traumatised our child?

[tryingtobemarrypoppins2]

Ds 2years 5months has had eating issues since around a year old after a sickness bug. As a result he has never taken calpol etc as he sees it as being forced to eat something he doesn't want to etc, as a result if he has a very very high temp we have had to resort to suppositories, This is after always trying to explain why he needs medicine, eating it ourselves, giving a chocolate button, etc etc etc. He hates us when we have to do it and I always feel terrible.

He is very very fussy but getting loads better. During the last 2 weeks we have been trying to get him to eat with us all together at tea time and he has been a star, eating new foods etc, really pleased. However this has made him terribly constipated, nothing now for 7 days so doctor has given Lactose and suppositories. He has been in so much pain and just can't understand why we are putting these things in his bum.

We have explained etc etc but he is so upset. I can see this causing toilet training issues and I am so worried and feel so bad. AIBU to feel this situation really may cause him to be traumatised?

I myself have sometimes suffered horrible constipation- that has needed to be relieved by suppositories. At the risk of TMI, the stools were just too big and hard to pass and they really really helped with this.

I would say the suppositories were pretty uncomfortable but totally necessary. So please don't feel you are traumatising your DS. You are doing the best thing for him. Yes it is a bit 'ouch' for him but its going to help him.

Think of it like an injection- they hurt a bit but its soon over and does not traumatise our children. The key difference of the suppository being out up their bottoms is more of a problem to us parents I think- they do not feel as squeamish about this as we do. I hope that makes sense!!

Oh what a night! 4am bless him up crying and 1 small very hard poo found in his nappy and that was after 10ml of Lactolose and a suppository.

Went to doctors this morning, he cried shouting "Good bye, cheerio, me not likes it here" she asked if he was always hates the doctors God now I'm worrying thats not normal......is it??? He hates the dentist too.....is that normal!??

We have the Movicol to try now.

Thankyou so much for your support....really need it at the moment! [runs of to crying newborn whilst looking like a sack of potatoes ]

Just keep telling yourself that each small bit that comes out is a step in the right direction.

My ds used to hate the hairdressers and would refuse to go in the door. He is fine now, just doesn't see the point of haircuts but he's a boy

have you usd a lubricant like ky jelly with the supposotories? it shouldnt hurt them then.

DS2 has had quite a lot of medicine because of recurrent tonsillitis. He is 2.8. We either give him the syringe and squirts it in his mouth himself or put the medicine in a small cup and he drinks it. We have also used suppositories without a problem, we turned it into a lets hide the medicine game (little kids are not squeemish). I have had to hold his arms and syringe antibiotics or calpol in a bit at a time before now where his tonsillitis was causing a raging fever (I have also stuck him in a tepid bath at 2am because his temp hit 40+ deg).

He is not traumatised by all this (I think I was at the time). He didn't like it at the time but he certainly doesn't resent us or act out because of it. I didn't like doing it but the other option was to risk serious harm because of high fever and infection.

I think you are projecting your feelings on to him and overthinking things because as a parent it is a big and painful thing. However, for your child it is probably less of an issue than you think. Remember children love you unconditionally but lack the insight of adults so making them take medicine might seem very harsh to you but is a minor annoyance to your child.

On the constipation point, DS1 went through a phase of withholding when older but because he was older we could resolve it by talking etc. However, one thing that did help was him blowing bubbles when he needed a poo. It was a fun distraction and the deep breaths needed to blow the bubbles helped move the poo.

Please remember that sometimes being a parent means you have to do some difficult things but your DS will still love you and will not place the same emotional significance on things as you do.

I would echo previous posts about suppositories being the norm in some countries. I remember being given them as a child when we lived in Spain. As someone else said, being matter of fact and giving him the choice of having a suppository or taking medicine orally gives him some control but he needs to understand that he has to take it one way or another and that if he won't chose one method then you will.

DD1 had constipation for a long time, despite having a good diet and being very active. Eventually we saw a paediatrician who prescribed Movicol. It was fantastic and got things moving at last. The only comment I would make is that, once you've been on a higher dose to clear the impaction, it's really, really important to stay on a maintenance dose for a long time. (Insert usual disclaimer about not being medically trained!) The paediatrician said that constipation damages the colon and it can take a long time for that damage to be repaired so it's important that Movicol is used to give the body time to repair itself. As a rule of thumb, he said that however long the child had been constipated for would be the time it took for the body to heal. Consequently, our dd was on Movicol for a couple of years. I quizzed him very carefully and he assured me that there were no risks with her staying on for so long. I think there's a danger in coming off meds too quickly and then the problem reappears and it's back to square one.

FWIW, I wouldn't worry in the slightest about toilet training. After a few months of pain free pooing he'll be ready to do it when it suits him and, no doubt, will be happily weeing in the garden by the time summer comes.

Sorry, only coming back to this post now. I didn't mean to sound dismissive. DH is british and he doesn't do suppositories either and he has managed to pass this on to DD.
Now she will not have them either, even though we have never discussed it in front of her.
I do believe that kids pick up on your anxieties.
What I meant is that many children have suppositories and because it's considered completely normal, it doesn't hurt them or traumatise them.

We started the Movicol tonight, I mixed it into his milk but he refused to drink the milk (never does this normally and he didn't see me add it). It shouldn't taste of anything should it??

How would you do it? Mix it with sugar free squash or water/fresh juice mix?? Its a bit annoying as he has only ever had water.

Do you think having a fear of the doctors or dentist is normal at this age or do you think its my fear of his reaction he is picking up on.....I don't feel like I worry him.....

I've no idea re the meds however wrt the docs and dentist, my DD 3.4 used to hate them and hairdressers too! She would scream and cry and she has only had check ups.

Recently it has been fantastic. She got a docs kit for her birthday so she is happier there, the dentist gave her a new pink toothbrush (which i supplied) as a suprise present for opening wide and since she got a head styling thing at xmas she is fine with the hairdresser too.

Peppa pig has also helped with the dentist books! As is the fact that i can now prepare her properly and explain what they are going to do and answer her questions.

Good luck with the meds

I can only agree with the others who have grown up on the continent or whose children have.

My DH is German and we had both our children there. They are almost 8yo and 5yo and have both had suppositories over the years and are neither traumatised nor particularly bothered about it.

Dr advised using a bit of vaseline so that it hurts less, bending legs up and holding tight and inserting as quickly as possible. Try not to get upset as you are doing it, be brisk and upbeat if you can, "okdokey, here is the medicine to make you feel better, there that is it done" and try to sound cheery and unbothered.

He will pick up on your angst and upset.

Agree with suggestions of prune juice.

Thank-you ImNotBossyBoots xx

The Movicol does have a taste (I tried it). DD also only had water up until she went on it but we started having to hide it in squash (and thereafter, of course, she always wanted squash). It's kind of the lesser of two evils. I felt that giving her squash was a small sacrifice to make.

FWIW, i would suggest NOT using a syringe if at all possible. We found, with our son, that it was the experience of having medicine forced on him (especially the way it squirts out of the syringe into the back of the throat) more traumatising than the actual medicine. If you can persuade him to voluntarily open his mouth to a spoon, even once, you will have overcome a major hurdle. It may take a while - lots of explaining, persuading, blackmail and bribery...but so worth it when they believe they have some degree of control.

Agree that movicol has a taste - kind of salty IIRC. What we found, as I said, was that mixing with a small quantity of ribena, and then waiting for it to settle and mix properly, helped disguise the taste. DS1 fine with syringes. But I'd have thought that strong squash/movicol mix might be more palatable for your ds.

I wouldn't qorry about squash dependency - lesser of two evils for sure.

Hope that it works quickly. Agree about the importance of perseverence with the medicine.

totally agree about suppositories being a cultural thing.

just throwing in another idea - does he use a dummy? you can get medication-administering dummies that you put 5mls of meds in and the child sucks it out iyswim.

If you do have to use a syringe, try to aim into the cheek rather than down the throat. My DS1 used to be a bit medication-phobic but we used squash in the syringe as a treat and it overcame the fear.

hope the movicol works btw