To be frightened of letting my 22 month old dd go on the big climbing frames in the park on her own?

[MargeHomerBart]

They are not that safe and feature big, unprotected drops and gaps in the runway where she could get her foot stuck.

Yet my mum friends say I should let her go on her own. Their kids are a bit older being 3/4.

I think dd is too young and should wait a bit longer until she has a better understanding of danger.

Shame our park dosn't have mini climbing frames.

YANBU. Your DD will be ready in her own time. And so will you!

Does she want to go?

Children are quite good judges of their own capability. I already do let my 18 month old on the biggies, but she's a flipping acrobat. I think it depends to some extent on the child.

YANBU to feel frightened, but she's likely to be totally fine. My 18mo has spent the afternoon climbing our climbing frame today! Copying her big sisters.

I think you should do what you feel comfortable doing but maybe read something like Letting Go As Children Grow to learn about how children learn to do things safely to help you decide?

YANBU. Your child, your decision - if you don't feel comfortable, having looked at the risks, then you are right to not allow it. Your DD is tiny and by the sound of what you're describing, would benefit from supervision on that apparatus.

And what AngryWasp said!

We usually go on what our children want to do - if they're capable of climbing up a climbing frame, then they're probably ok doing it. Children aren't suicidal - they're evolved to survive and usually do far worse when they think they're being watched over than if they know they are totally responsible for themselves IYSWIM. My children have all been really silly climbing the stairs if I'm standing over them saying 'careful!' but if I stay away and keep my trap shut, they're far more sensible.

Oh, I don't know. I didn't let DS go on unsupervised at 22 months, but DD was on that stuff unsupervised from about 12 months. DS is now 8, and I think I've never lost the supervising habit with him. I think subsequent children are left to get on with it much more.

YANBU but it does them good to learn from experience too though falling from a great height isnt an experience youd want them to have so fair enough avoid that!

FWIW I was very dubious about this sort of thing with my son and I wish I hadnt been, I think I held him back a bit in retrospect.

YANBU

I have friends who let their kids roam around soft play centres on their own at 18 months old. That is their choice but personally I think children aren't quite aware of their own capabilities at this age and need to be supervised.

She absolutely loves climbing and makes a beeline for the frame.

However, she would make a beeline for the road if I didn't have her on reigns. dosn't mean I'm going to let her go for it though!

With climbing, children do seem to know their own 'level' so i would let her have a go (under supervision of course)

My youngest used to go up to the top of the climbing frame at about 14 months - he copied his older siblings and would roar if I tried to stop him!

But follow your child's instincts, not what your friends think, because all children are different.

The road is different - it's an unnatural danger that small children cannot be expected to be able to make decisions about. Climbing something, however, is something we're evolved to do, and to know how to make rational judgements about.

I am with the op - I may be pfb about this but some (not all) of stuff in our local playgrounds is pretty high (we're talking 5/6 ft up with ladders/poles) - dd can't make it up there alone so shouts for assistance and then needs constant surveillance..but then I guess she probably fails the evolutionary test as left to her own devices she wouldnt get up there.

YANBU. I'm in pretty much the same situation with 20 month old DD. She's really confident with climbing but it's the drops that concern me. I still go up with her, or stay close enough to know that she's safe. But I do think it's possible to let go a little while staying close by- a gradual rather than sudden withdrawal.

My DS (22mths) goes on the big climbing frames at our local park and loves them - there are some 5ft drops but he usually stays away. We do have the occasional heart stopping moment where he runs full pelt across the 'bridge' and then slams the brakes on just before the fireman's pole and 5ft drop !

He seems to get what's safe and what isn't IYKWIM. He has fallen once, from about four feet but bounced fairly well .

Your child, you know them best.

We're really lucky in that our park has a few different climbing frames/structures that are different sizes. DS (21 months) is already bored of the toddler one though. I do let him go on some of the bigger ones because he's pretty confident, but I keep a beady eye on him and try and avoid times when there will be a lot of older children about who might accidentally send him flying.

My friend's DD on the other hand isn't anywhere near as confident and I don't think she'd even attempt to climb on some of the same structures as DS despite them both being the same age.

Yanbu. If it is going to turn you into a gibbering wreck then leave it for a few months . Once they're bigger and stronger the park becomes more relaxing.

I used to watch 3.5 ds like a hawk at the park, now his little 19mo sister has come along and I think she has a career as an adrelaine junkie. They both charge around and if they want to try something I let them, albeit with me right next to them, but I don't worry anymore.

lol at the bouncing eddie [waves back ]

YABU. Or have I misunderstood - as long as you can be there to "spot" her, I don't see the issue.

My 21 month old can climb things that older children struggle with, not because he's some monkey prodigy, but just because he's had months of practice, and really enjoys it. It's fun for us both to see what he can do, and how quickly he can do on his own what he'd only recently needed help on.

I'm going to get a mini slide and frame for the garden. She can perfect her skills on them and then we can go for the bigguns.

I want her to be physically confident but I'm not sure my approach is going to achieve that. I'm turning into my mum.

can she get up on them by herself or do you have to lift / help her up there?
IMO if they can climb up themselves, they are probably ok (although i think you should remain nearby)
if you have to lift them on, the equipment is designed for chidlren older than them, and probably not safe

I found the climbing frame tested my nerves too much and the girl's were barred from it until around 3.5 years each time.

Let her go on it but hovver underneath to catch her if she falls.

DS was a climber from a v early age - and he has a mobility disability. I let him do what he felt like and hovvered underneath, but did my best never to offer pointless advice such as 'be careful'! I only ever gave positive advice such as 'you could put your foot there' or 'keep hold with that hand'.

Children seem to fall very very rarely.

Do what you think your dd is capable of: if you feel she needs you underneath to catch her, be right there! Not every 22 month old is the same, and your friend will be judging from her child.

I gave way to peer pressure on this at about this age and then spent several hours gazing down on my unconscious child in A&E.

In my heart of hearts I did know that my dd was not strong enough to hold on, just because the other children in toddler group were. But I so desperately didn't want to seem over protective or limiting.

The problem was- practice and confidence isn't everything, dd wasn't as strong as some of the other children (still isn't at 13) and wishing couldn't change that. A bit of realistic planning would have made all the difference- I could have been there tactfully, without making a big fuss.

Agree with Angrywasp too. Toddlers seem to set their own limits.

The two exceptions for me are roads and water.

Not all toddlers, Kathyjelly. My dd very nearly died falling off a climbing frame.

On the other hand, I am far more relaxed with water, because if they fall in, you have time. If they fall off a climbing frame and you are not within catching distance you can do nothing.

The clue is, knowing the limits of your own child.