to be upset that a close friend is'friends' on facebook with someone who bullied me at school ?

[binjibaghi]

Even though school was longer ago than i care to remember i still get v upset remembering the emotional bullying. all girls school v bitchy in general and i was one of about 6 that i know of that was bullied by the same girl at different stages

my close friend went to the same school and knows exactly what went on (even though we became closer later on)

aibu to be pissed off that she would accept or seek friendship on facebook with this girl

YABU - Why are you even bothered?. I couldnt care less who my friends have as friends on FB - it dosent matter a jot. Dont let it get to you - ignore it!

YABU.

YANBU to feel this way however you cannot control who other friends talk to/see etc.

I say this as someone who ran one of my best mates into the ground to all and everyone has just turned back up on facebook added my friend telling her she's missed her etc etc.

You can't pick and choose her friends for her. So, YABU.

Block her, so you dont see any interaction between her and your friend. Let your friend be friends with who she wants - Facebook might be something different to her than it is to you. She might use it for general voyerism rather than actual friendship, or a bit of both, whereas you see it as friendship only. It means different things to different people, let it go, but block her, please. And make sure your settings aren't set to friends of friends, or she'll see what you are up to. But block her and that'll take care of it.

Few people on my fb are friends with one girl who hated my guts (ended up in a physical fight one night after she waited for me with her friends to walk home alone)-this was 18 years ago!!

Really,life is to bloody short to worry about past shit like that.

facebook isn't 'friendship' in the real sense.
If your friend and the bully both have lots of facebook friends you can assume that their association has no meaning.

Maybe your friend felt it would be rude to refuse a friend request from someone she went to school with?

I couldn't beleive it when a girl who had bullied me in the past friend requested me, but that kind of thing seems to be the way lots of people use facebook.

Maybe your friend doesn't realise that you are upset? Have a word with her, she probably didnt intend to cause your distress.

Or it is possible that this person is a reformend character in her old age? Some people do change and deserve second chances.

Hmmm, Facebook=

spooky! I've just ignored a request from the girl who bullied me out of school. Some people are just thick and oblivious to how nasty they were.

Girl probably doesn't even remember what she did and would be mortified if she was reminded.

School was school leave it there , don't allow it to shape parts of your life now.

You are now a confident adult, not an insecure teenager, move on, be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones.

This girl/woman whatever might be feeling genuinely remorseful and ashamed at how she treated you, maybe thats WHY she has added your mate as a way to get to you through her.

i understand it still resonates,but you cant pick your mate fb pals

I have new "friends" on FB from school who have recently found me and I honestly cannot remember who they are.

Obviously you remember this girl all too well but it is presumably some time ago and perhaps your friend was just being nosy, or did not want to not accept friendship requests.

Block the bully so you don't see her updates and put it out of your mind.

If you find seeing her name upsetting just block her and then you won't see her anymore.

YABU It's only Facebook! Most of my school are on Facebook and I've been friend requested by a lot of people I can't remember or barely spoke to. I think some folk just like the thought of having hundreds of "friends."

seaturtle Think its a fanclub...not "friends"

Thanks didnt know i could block friends of friends will try that.

was bullied for having acne and still dont have great skin - everytime i have a flare up it brings back all the bad memories.

generally related to bloody hormones so this doesnt help . most of the time am quite sane and dont even think about it!

YABU
Facebook is evil

yes, you can block anybody on facebook. I have LOADS of people blocked. They won't even know you are on there and even if search for you, can't see your profile. And you won't see them either.

i made friends with someone from my class, and sent him mail thanking him for sticking up for me against said bully. 2 weeks later, saw he had made friends with said bully. I defriended him! so YANBU, these things linger!!!!

thanks for this thread,
I have a fb friend who was the class "top girl" and she was very mean to my BF, I will now delete her.

YABU. You can't choose your friends' friends.

How old are you?

Is this for real? Move on, grow up, be the better person etc.

I'd actually be tempted to add her as a friend.

I actually see where you're coming from, op, but I'm sure your friend didn't friend this woman to spite you, she probably didn't even give it a second thought. Be bigger, it was years ago. Nothing good ever comes of fb. I really believe that.

YANBU for feeling pissed off as it's reminded you of the vindictiveness.

But just have to accept your friend will do her own thing.