to be upset that a close friend is'friends' on facebook with someone who bullied me at school ?

[binjibaghi]

Even though school was longer ago than i care to remember i still get v upset remembering the emotional bullying. all girls school v bitchy in general and i was one of about 6 that i know of that was bullied by the same girl at different stages

my close friend went to the same school and knows exactly what went on (even though we became closer later on)

aibu to be pissed off that she would accept or seek friendship on facebook with this girl

Im friends with someone on facebook who was part of a group of girls who I really didnt like and they really didnt like me. She didnt exactly bully me herself, but other girls in her group did and she was often in the background. They were the popular crowd and I wasnt so there was no secret about how I wasnt liked and it was uncomfortable in certain situations for me at hormonal pubescent teenager stage. However now we are facebook friends and have actually had conversations in the street when we have bumped into each other.

Ive been surprised at some of the friends of my school friends and often think that you would have never seen them friends back at school, but then again thats life.

I too had friends who I really cant remember from school. One person was often on facebook and I really dont have a clue who they were so I deleted them in the end.

Come off Facebook. Deregister. I did this last week and am finding it rather liberating.

Thing is you cannot go around for the rest of your life, hating someone who bullied you. You are not the same person you was a school. So this girl probably has changed, got a family etc etc. Was she in a group of girls who all bullied? She could have been coaxed into bullying you and others when she didnt want to but because she wanted to impress her 'mates' then she might have had no choice. Why not send her a message and asking her 'why she wants to be friends with you when she bullied you at school?'

This is exactly the reason I don't use Facebook! I had a miserable time all through secondary school due to bulling. All the people from school that I want to be in contact with I still am in contact with. Everyone else can sod right off!

I do understand exactly how you feel, but I agree with other posts, that the bully probably doesn't even remember what she did and left school behind without giving it a second thought. The situation will have affected you more than anyone else involved and although your friend knows what happened she won't be able to understand the feeling this digs up for you.

Personally I'd ditch Facebook and concentrate on your real friends.

YABU if you say something as it's just facebook, but YANBU in feeling that way.
I was treated very horribly by my first 'real' boyfriend only a few years ago when I was in college and knowing all of the horrible details, a close friend of mine still insists that he's actually a lovely guy and she loves hanging out with him at the pub so would ditch me to hang out with him if he ever turned up whilst we were there It felt like the ultimate betrayal tbh but I cannot and will not control who she is friends with as that would BU of me iyswim?

You just have to ignore it I'm afraid!

You are NBU to be upset about being bullied, but you are being VU to think you can control the relationships and friendships of other people.

I think i just expected more of this friend as i say going to an all girls school there was lots of bitching and bullying. I consider it disloyal and wouldnt do it if the situation was reversed.

however i have realised that i maybe dont use facebook in the same way - i only have friends that i know well enough to speak on the phone to and ignore request from lots of people who i dont know that well.

have changed my privacy settings to the max now - dont feel the need to collect randoms - quality over quantity

YABU - 6 of my friends made friends on FB with my ex who punched me in the face one New Year.

It's Facebook - they shouldn't be called "friends", they should be called "Sure I know you from somewhere"

I like the blocking idea.

Mermaidspam - "Sure I know you from somewhere!" So true. What is it with people who friend request you as soon after you meet them for the first time.

I know! Irritates the shit out of me! As if I want my friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin knowing everything about me (well, only the stuff I'll admit to on FB!)