My DH and I have been invited to a party,in which i can't attend but my dh still going do you think i'm being unreasonable when i say i don't want him going?

[LiLu79]

My dh & I were invited to a party recently where i can't attend and he wants to still go...I'm i right in not wanting him to go?
I will give you some background to the persons party it is...We attending a house warming party last year and this girl (who's party my dh wants to attend )was flirting around with my dh something rotten at this house warming party in front off everyone including me which made me feel very angry,anyway i've recently found out this girl tryed to kiss my dh (you name it full on kiss)while i was in the other room talking to her boyfriend,also while my dh has been out on a so called lads night out she has been there and made it pretty clear that she wanted to take him back to her place,(although i will say my dh did refuse).... Do you think i'm being unresonable in not wanting him to go?Recently i was asked to and visit a male friend off mine in switzerland(who also happened to be an old boyfriend)i considered going but i knew how much it would hurt my dh (although he was invited too but declined) so i also declined the offer.....

What has your DH said when you've explained the above to him?

Basically i'm still going if you like it or not

Is it her party? If so why would he want to go?

Then no, I don't think YABU.

Did he offer up the information of the woman trying to kiss him and her being at a "lads night out"? Or did you discover it?

If he offered the information, then he's being mean by telling you this woman made a pass at him and then insisting that he's going to her party with out you.

If you discovered it yourself, then it appears he isn't interested in taking your feelings into account at all.

I can see why you don't want him to go but i think you are being slightly unreasonable. It takes 2 to kiss (get it on, whatever), you should trust your Dh (if you don't trust him then why are you together?), i think you either have to find a way of going with him or trust him to go on his own.

It's her 25,thats my point,he can't explain really why he wants to except that they ''are friends''

Is it that you don't trust your husband or is it that you don't trust her? If you don't trust her, then I would go and have a lovely time with your partner.

Why can't you go?

I was told about the woman making a pass at him,that night when it happened, but i only have found out about the trying for a kiss

The party and the girl arent the issue here. It seems strange to me that he'd want to go to someones party when all the previous has happened and the other issue is either you trust him or you dont.
Maybe I'm old and jaded but it would never occur to me to be bothered about such things.

Have you confronted him about what you were told? What did he say?

I can't get a babysitter for my ds,and it's the fact i can't trust her...

My dh can't see why i'm getting upset by it,he thinks i'm being over the top,I trust him with my life i honestly do...ive known him for over 20 years and we have been a couple for 13 years,it's not the first time woman have tryed to get with him,but he has passed it all upwhich is good,and once he has said no to them they give up but this woman in question dumped her boyfriend for the sole reason to get with my dh

yes ds is my dh,now this is the thing he won't let me go,claiming we haven't got enough money for both off us too go and the fact we have no babysitter anyway doesn't really help

He wont let you go? He's being an árse.

i think as a couple you go, but if you cant get a babysitter, it seems unfair, temptations aside, that just one goes.

Sounds like you're the one being controlled here. You should say that you're going to the party or do you get the most nights out without ds and dh?

Agree the issue isn't her, it's your trust in him. Trusting someone with your life isn't the same as trusting them to keep their pants up.

it's not the first time he has claimed we haven't got enough money either for the first week off our married life (only been married 6 years out of 13 years off being together)he was out every night getting drunk with his mates(we didn't have a honeymoon expect for a night in a local hotel which my cousin booked for us)

YANBU. It's not about trust, it's about respect for you. He's aware that this women wants to be with him and is keen to make her intentions/feelings known! Why should you have to sit at home worrying about what is going on/what this woman is saying or doing in your absence. You showed him respect by declining the Swiss invite so he should reciprocate.

If he insists on going, I would attend the party with him. What do you mean, he won't let you go??? If he is really so insistant on attending alone, then I would question his motives.

How old are you LiLu? I wonder if you have been with this man since your teens and whether he is the only partner you have eve had? Because it sounds a bit as though he thinks of you as a domestic appliance rather than a person, that he 'loves' you because you have always been there, yet he puts his own interests first. And if you have never had another partner you may think that relationships are all like this, that women just have to put up with whatever men do. This isn't so.

My dh goes out at least once a month with his mates ,we hardly ever go out together,