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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to print t shirts for my DD2 with these slogans

76 replies

JackBauer · 16/04/2010 20:05

Yes my hair is natural, just don't fucking touch it.

No, mummy didn't dye or perm my hair. I'm 2 and she isn't insane.

If you fluff my hair and I hit you, don't expect sympathy.

I bite. Now fuck off.

(Pics on profile to explain. This has been going on since she was born. Some ditzy bint 'fluffed' her hair earlier in Tesco, without checking with me, without asking her, just grabbed at her, and DD2 smacked her hand away. She then got uppity with me 'having a violent child')

So AIBU?

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 16/04/2010 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DebiNewberry · 16/04/2010 20:30

Am trying to avoid the build up of identifiable info on her but I do have experience of this and I have never had anybody horrid touch either of my dd's hair. Usually it's old ladies in the supermarket. I don't mind - and they don't seem to either.

I don't think I'm missing the point, but I do have a different perspective.

Original poster
JackBauer · 16/04/2010 20:32

Considering it is my point I reserve the right to tell you you are missing it. HTH.

kingbeat, they are good, much more tactful

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 16/04/2010 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oopsandbabycoconut · 16/04/2010 20:34

JB - do you livein deepest darkest Wiltshire? If not, your DD has a double who lives in our town!

She has fab hair - my DD has tight little curls and people keep twanging them and wonder why she yells at them.

thegirlwithsomethingextra · 16/04/2010 20:37

Wow! What amazing hair!

My mum's hair a bit like that but it's bright ginger to boot (although going white a bit now).

She has endured a lifetime of comments about her hair but is inordinately proud of it. And is gutted that none of her children or grandchildren have inherited it.

She says people always remember her because of her hair, even people she only met once 30 years ago

Original poster
JackBauer · 16/04/2010 20:38

nice mDS

I did give her one of your namesakes but not a bollocking.

OP posts:
Original poster
JackBauer · 16/04/2010 20:40

oops, nope, not me!

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 16/04/2010 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DebiNewberry · 16/04/2010 20:44

Old people in supermarkets pull out my daughters curls, rarely, but it does happen. I choose to find this endearing. You choose to find this infuriating and rude.

Pointless getting sniffy about a YABU post in AIBU. Maybe try chat if you don't want to hear a different opinion

Original poster
JackBauer · 16/04/2010 20:50

I really shouldn't as you have a perfect right to think IABU BUT
I do not find people fluffing DD2's hair infuriating and rude, I find people GRABBING at her HEAD rude, and people who talk about her as if she is deaf, rude.

OP posts:
MarshaBrady · 16/04/2010 20:58

What beautiful, excellent hair.

(I wouldn't touch it!)

GreenMonkies · 16/04/2010 21:02

YANBU.

No one should touch any one ever, regardless of age, irrespective of what they want to touch. Hair. Pregnant belly. Whatever.

However, I do think you need some kind of de-frizzing product on your DD's hair. I mist my DD's hair with water with a bit of my John Frieda Curl Around conditioner in it, turns it into fabulous ringlets instead of wild candy-floss fuzz!

Original poster
JackBauer · 16/04/2010 21:05

Green, I need help I don't have, nor have anyone in my family with hair that isn't dead straight.
To be fair her hair is not looking it's best there, I have started spraying it with water abd using some random hair wax, am saving for Tigi Bedhead, it has been recommended a lot!

OP posts:
3cutedarlings · 16/04/2010 21:07

aww bless!! she is stunning!!, have to admit i would want to touch, but i wouldn't

YANBU

My DD2 has a mass of stunning curls and old dears always just have to have a fluff at them!! thankfully she doesn't mind ....... loves the attention (she's 5 )lol

My freinds DS cant stand his curls touched, and get extremely upset when a stranger (or anyone actually) touches them.

mooki · 16/04/2010 21:31

JackBauer; it's fab. Just put a bit of normal conditioner on it and leave in when her hair is damp - its taken me 33 years of looking like crystal tips to discover I don't need to spend a fortune on 'product'.

Scout19075 · 16/04/2010 21:32

YANBU. Lovely hair (really, truly do love it!) but I wouldn't touch anyone's hair except my own DS's. My sister has really tight ringlets, has always had them, and I learned very quickly not to "ping" them and since then keep my hands to myself!

Why do OAPs though anyone, really? think it's acceptable to touch children they encounter in the shops? OAPs at the grocery store like to touch my DS (5.5 months) and he always look at them with fear or repulsion and looks at me like "Who is this nutjob and why are they touching me, Mommy?!"

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/04/2010 21:34

"OAPs" possibly see it as harmless affection. I did too - and I'm 40. Will stop it now....

WilloughbyWallaby · 16/04/2010 21:44

Oooh she is gorgeous! I wouldn't grab her head in Sainsburys though. The cheek of that woman, not only to grab your DD's hair, but then to lecture you/DD! Grr.

Also, very about the girls in her school teasing her. Children can be so cruel. I think she looks awesome. Get her to say something like 'I love my hair. Yours is so boring' or something, in retaliation.

Merle · 16/04/2010 21:44

I think that touching children is different for the older age group and for different cultures. I think that in the past (and in different countries) people have a more relaxed attitude to children and it would not seem so odd for a stranger to touch a child. We are a lot more uptight about such behaviour nowadays.

PrimroseCrabapple · 16/04/2010 21:58

it is fab. my dd2 has ringlets and people always went on about it gave the older one a complex. I ust trained her up to go about how smooth hers was.

i only wash it once a week but rinse and condition it every day or so. Comb it when the conditioner is on rinse and leave. let it drip onto a towel = amazing defined curls!

Boots curl creme at 1.30 a pot is good for the inbetween wash days.

CliffBarnsby · 17/04/2010 01:07

Yanbu! I thought my DD1 had crazy hair! I've just recently started attempting to keep it back but she's not very cooperative (just turned 2). Luckily people don't touch hers- just go on about it and asking "whose" hair she has - unless DP is with me then they just say "oh I see where you get that hair!"

much better than my flat hair that I can't even keep curled!

marytontie · 17/04/2010 01:11

YABU
Your kids have great hair but stop being so aggressive

CheerfulYank · 17/04/2010 01:21

YANBU to want to put such a t-shirt on her surely, but actually doing it may be a little OTT. It's great hair by the way! Mine's stick-straight and I'm totally jealous. What a little cutie!

My son and I (as well as my father, uncles, cousins, etc.)have odd eyes. (Well, I don't think they're odd of course but apparently other people do. They're very, very pale blue.) I constantly get asked if they're "real." Well obviously! A teenage boy-who may have been stoned so there is that for an excuse-asked me the other day if DS was wearing contacts. Um, yes, I put colored contacts on my not-quite-three-year-old child!

fuzzypicklehead · 17/04/2010 02:17

I think that your DD was not being unreasonable to smack somebody who grabbed her head. If somebody grabbed MY head, I might be sorely tempted to do the same.

My 2 year old has very similar hair and it's been a huge learning curve for me--especially as she won't wear clips either. A curly headed friend told me to only comb through when wet and with plenty of leave in conditioner, and then "scrunch" back into shape. I did it and Eureka! We had ringlets.

Didn't help with the people touching her head, though. Now they want to "boing" her curls.