to not want to pick up DH's shirts off the floor

[RubyBuckleberry]

I have said I will wash them if they are in the washing bin. He didn't have any clean shirts for work this morning because I hadn't washed any - they were all screwed up next to his side of the bed .

AIBU or should I just go and get them and bloody wash them?

(Can't help feeling a little petty in refusing , but it annoys me that he can't just put them in the bloody basket!)

Mrs C

Are you talking about your DH or your DS here??

YABU he is a grown man. If he wants his shirts to be stored on his bedroom floor that is up to him. Leave him alone.

Haha, believe it or not my very lovely 35 yr old DH!

MrsC - I might start that tradition in our house too - sounds like fun!

thanks all - mrs c's idea i like - very good natured - and i can see DH approving.

its no big issue really, doesn't cause an argument - i just know how resentment can breed so wanted to avoid that.

angrywasp fair point too.

It is just one of those things that evolved, the laundry bin is on my side as mid chat I would always end up holding the lid like some sort of shield as he lobs his dirtiness across the room! This has since developed into a routine that never seems to be forgotten...bless him. Sometimes we spice things up by him lobbing them at me and I try to deflect them in using aforementioned shield. Yes, we really are THAT cool.

I'm with bobbiwickham, my DH does his own laundry following an unfortunate loss of my temper while holding a tub of coleslaw.

Bobbie, Bran do your DHs just do there own laundry, or do they bung in the DCs' or yours if it happens to be in the basket when he's doing his own?

I think I'd find it equally irritating if he only did his own and left the DCs.

DH only does his own, and I prefer it that way. He doesn't have as much time to do laundry as I do so it would be a pain for him to have to shedule other laundry in with his own. He's also extremely distracted all the time and so not terribly good about double checking for a random dark sock in a white wash for instance so it's easier to do mine and the kids' things myself rather than sort out the colour run later.

I don't like him to wash DS's clothes unless I can watch him put it on as he once did DS clothes in regular detergent rather than Filetti which triggered a nasty eczema episode (did it on autopilot I think rather than just not caring about DS).

He does do towels occasionally, and if he's doing a small wash he'll ask if I want to add anything in with it.

It pees me off a bit too - particularly since a few months ago dh decided we needed a new dirty washing basket and went out and bought am extremely expensive willow chest. He STILL leaves his stuff on the floor around it.

YANBU.

Letting the little things go is only a good philosophy if the little things don't represent the big things.

My husband does more laundry than I do because he's home more often and it's a time-sensitive job (no dryer). But I don't leave clothes on the floor, and if I did I'd expect them to stay there.

good idea madamdeathstare

still think i am going to leave them there as it does annoy me and i'd rather not if i am then going to feel like a scivvy.

Put the laundry basket right next to his side of the bed and see if he gets the hint.

I know it only takes 5 seconds but he's a grown up for heaven's sake, it shouldn't be beyond him. Same goes for any child over the age of 12 in my book. If they can be trained to go to the loo, they can be trained to stuff their dirty laundry in the basket while they're at it.

MrsC2010 - "sniff shirts etc" OMG

So what do you all do with used clothes that aren't dirty enough yet to be washed?

I still don't see what the big deal is.

How do you KNOW he expects you to pick up his clothes. Perhaps he is just happy for them to be there. If this is the case, but you are not then you SHOULD pick them up, because it is YOU that it bothers, not him.

As I said, leave him alone.

I would only alter my opinion if he showed any annoyance at YOU for leaving HIS clothes there. That would be out of order.

Just because someone doesn't have the same standards as you doesn't mean they should be bullied into them.

I sent DH a text yesterday with a photo of the bedroom (curtains closed, bed unmade, laundry and wet towels on floor) and the words. YOU ARE NOT A STUDENT. WE HAVE NO STAFF. Pls tidy the room when you;re last up in the morning. x.

Hahaha Dittany, I just knew someone would pick up on that! It's a game FFS! If the laundry basket were on the other side of the room, the throwing/shield would be reversed. He does the washing most of the time because he is ridiculously over protective of me carrying baskets of washing up and down the stairs when pregnant. He also cooks, hoovers, walks the dogs, does the gardening, takes out the rubbish, organises bill payments etc etc...the only things I do, pretty much, are tell him when the laundry bin is full and do our food shopping online, menu planning etc. I really can't believe someone would take a jokey game between a happy, equal couple as some sort of sign of misogyny.

And Kathy, they would only smell of aftershave or deoderant, and I hate seeing half-empty loads go down to wash so would rather hunt out things to go on to be honest.

When I'm not being cossetted I tend to do the washing...but as this doesn't bother me I can't see the problem.

YANBU. I refuse to pick up DH's shirts and underwear off the floor. We both work full time, and I do the laundry (albeit it only because he is very colourblind and couldn't separate colours if his life depended on it) but I draw the line at picking his rancid socks up where he dumped them. He knows where the laundry basket is, and if it isn't in there, it doesn't get washed. Simples.

"if it's not in the basket, it won't be washed"

Part of my wedding vows

Erm, I think he puts the dcs in with his own.

I just got fed up of him doing about one wash a week consisting mainly of his own stuff, while I did at least one every day consisting of everybody's.

And we never discussed the division of labour, it just seemed to be assumed that I had the tits and the womb, so I would do it.

I spent an inordinate amount of time nagging and tutting and generally behaving like a harridan.

So I thought I would change things my way, and started leaving his stuff in the basket/on the floor.

I still do three out of four people in the house's washing, so I don't think I'm not pulling my weight.

And he still puts a wash on and leaves the wet clothes in there for me to find the next day, so we're not quite there yet.

But we're getting there