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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say something about my nephew(from DH) lifestyle?

44 replies

MilMae · 15/04/2010 21:25

My nephew(from my DH side) is 6 year old and is coming to spend summer with us. He doesnt have a routine, eats what he wants when he wants, go to bed at the time he wants. He is brought up by grandmother (tough it shouldnt be an excuse) and the mother doesnt care as she is too occupied with her career.
Last time he came to stay I didnt say anything, as I dont want to get involved and is his grandma (my MIL) who looks after him.
But this time, I'm not sure if I can control. The poor child is as skinny as a stick, doesnt eat any fruit or veg, has chocs for breakfast and icecream for dinner. How on earth the parents and grandparents allow it to happen?
Should I get involved, since they are staying with us, and try to introduce a healthy menu for this poor child?

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 15/04/2010 21:27

First time poster, eh?

EricNorthmansmistress · 15/04/2010 21:29

What, your DN and MIL are both coming to stay? Do you have DCs? Won't he just get given what you feed your DCs for meals, or will your MIL buy him crap specially?

How long are they staying for? I think there is scope for some involvement on your part if they are staying for more than a few days.

BAFE · 15/04/2010 21:31

Why have him stay then? Say you can't do it, problem solved.

Portofino · 15/04/2010 21:32

Your house, your rules. End of.

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 21:32

BelleDameSansMErci.... any tips on how I should post? thanks

Eric.. my DS is only 3 months old, so his diet won't apply. But I'm quite strict about food and routine in my house. They are staying a few over.

OP posts:
Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 21:33

they are staying a few weeks, I mean

OP posts:
livviloo · 15/04/2010 21:38

I agree with above post saying your house your rules.
BDSM- I shall also be watching this post for advice on how to post,
in anticipation for you words of wisdom

BelleDameSansMerci · 15/04/2010 21:51

I was implying, clearly not subtly enough, that I question the veracity of the post. I shan't trouble you further.

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 21:57

BDSM, I wouldn't be wasting my time, and those of other posters. I'd appreciate you you participate to have some input on the subject questioned, not to question the truthfulness of the subjet.

My first thought was that "my house my rules" and having heard from you, and knwoing that INBU I will stick to it

OP posts:
outnumbered2to1 · 15/04/2010 21:58

its simple really. Your house - your rules. You also have a 3 month old baby in the house and no time to pander to the requests of a demanding 6 year old. Explain to MIL if she wants to make him special meals she is more than welcome to but that you have set mealtimes and set menus and you would expect him to abide by the rules of the house he is in.

BitOfFun · 15/04/2010 22:05

"He is brought up by grandmother (tough it shouldnt be an excuse) and the mother doesnt care as she is too occupied with her career."

Sorry, do you mean that his grandmother looks after him while his mother is providing for him? Or are we supposed to equate careers here with smoking crack?

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 22:08

BOF - his grandmother looks after him while his mother works, though I disagree totally as I think there should be a balance between work and family - don't let me get started on that...

OP posts:
BAFE · 15/04/2010 22:08

what about his father? is he occupied with his career too?

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 22:10

seems to me that both mother and father are too busy taking care of their own lives... I can never understand the principle of having a child if you are not prepared to take responsability. Grandmother lives with the parents, btw

OP posts:
Herecomesthesciencebint · 15/04/2010 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 22:13

outnumbered.. is not only about MIL or me preparing the food. Is more about a 6 year old not having routine, or eating healthy. It certainly cannot be good for him?

OP posts:
Herecomesthesciencebint · 15/04/2010 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rollergirl1 · 15/04/2010 22:14

"his grandmother looks after him while his mother works, though I disagree totally as I think there should be a balance between work and family - don't let me get started on that..."

I seriously advise you not to get started on that! That statement makes you sound completely patronising.

But anyway, can we be clear, who is coming to stay? Just the nephew? Or the entire family? There's no need to "get involved" atall. Just cook and serve as you would normally. No need to explain. It's your house. Job done.

itsmeitsmeolord · 15/04/2010 22:17

YABU. You are dressing up a bitch about your husbands family as concern about your nephew.

Did you offer to have him stay for the summer or were you asked?

BitOfFun · 15/04/2010 22:18

Ah yes, the old SAHM/WOHM chestnut.

How do you feel about families living on benefits and both spending quality time with their children?

Or do you come from some kind of fifties timewarp where one parent (the man) earns enough for the entire family?

Because you should let the politicians know that they don't need to bother with tax credits and all that hoo-ha really.

EricNorthmansmistress · 15/04/2010 22:19

Oh right.

I assumed she meant the child is raised by his GM, because his parents were absent. Missed the gem about the mother being too occupied with her career.

OP The child's diet is none of your business. Nor is how they raise their child. Judgypants.

Original poster
MilMae · 15/04/2010 22:20

Herecomes.. I appreciate your comments. I'm not being a stuck up c*w or looking down on them. But yes, u r right, I certainly don't like the way they do things. He has both mother and father, and both work, however I believe that both should take more responsibility over their DC, and not neglect him?
I still thing that is my house my rules. When I go over to visit I find appauling the things I see, but I never say one word, as IMO is their house their rule
But in my house I'd like to make a point

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 15/04/2010 22:21

You either want to care for the child or you don't. Set good examples while he is with you. If you are going to be judgemental with a child, then I suggest alternative arrangements be made.

SpringHeeledJack · 15/04/2010 22:22

Blimey. wish I could eat ice cream for breakfast and chocs for dinner and still be 'skinny as a stick'

BitOfFun · 15/04/2010 22:22

Oh we get your point

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