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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that lots of people are within the grey spectrum!

49 replies

Redazzy · 15/04/2010 20:50

I am an avid supporter of breastfeeding who only breastfed her ds exclusively until 4 weeks, her dd, exclusively for 2 weeks.

I am an avid supporter of a woman's right to choose but hate the idea of termination and view it as morally wrong. When faced with the possibility, I would have chosen termination as a young woman but had a miscarriage before having to make the ultimate decision.

I believe that woman have as much to offer in the workplace as men. However, I feel that children benefit from a parent's care more than outsourced childcare especially in the early years.

I believe that children who are academically talented are more 'valued' in this world than others who do not make the grade. I am proud of my ds who is 'academically valued' yet am furious on behalf of my friend's children who are not.

I believe that obesity is caused exclusively (except in the smallest percentage of cases) by eating too much and exercising too little. Yet I despise the current emphasis on weight and size. I sometimes judge others by their size. Yet I don't want to be judged. I have been morbidly obese and recently normal weight.

I would never dress my children in slogan laden clothing. Yet I have given them fruit shoots, mcdonalds and on one occasion, before a trip to the theatre, a gregg's sausage roll. I try to ensure that they eat a healthy diet yet my son will eat peas only under the greatest duress. His vegetable intake unless you count potato's, tomato based sauses and baked beans is nil!

I am an intelligent woman who does not have a job and has no idea what she is going to do with her life once her youngest dd starts school in September.

I have met most of my best friends from Mums n Tots Playgroups. But I understand the annoyance and frustration of listening to endless baby stories and comparisons. I have been that new face (from another country) and I know what walking into those rooms full of strangers feels like.

I have been under the influence of alcohol in social situations with my dc present but would be horrified if this impacted suffficiently on my ability to act as a parent. I would not be able to drive them to A&E but I would be able to put on a plaster or put them to bed.

I smoke but only when my dc are not present and judge the parent who walks along pushing the buggy with a fag in their hand.

Am I the only one with no strong moral compass?

OP posts:
JustMyTwoPenceWorth · 15/04/2010 20:51

Not at all.

thatsnotmymonkey · 15/04/2010 20:52

and off your soap box and breathe!

Redazzy · 15/04/2010 20:55

Please excuse the dreadful grammar and spelling. I am under the influence of wine at the moment. Otherwise I would never have posted this! I am the ultimate lurker - another shades of grey trait I believe.

OP posts:
APassionateWoman · 15/04/2010 20:55

I think you sound like a very nice, normal person, actually!

You do have a moral compass. You sound like a basically intelligent, good sort of person.

Your 'grey area' stuff shows you're human! You don't always live up to your own ideals. You see things from different perspectives. You aren't up on your moral high horse.

I much prefer people like you than moralistic soap box merchants!

Redazzy · 15/04/2010 20:56

Thanks thatsnotmymonkey. In, out, in, out! Better now.

OP posts:
thatsnotmymonkey · 15/04/2010 21:00

phew, I would say there are lots and lots of people/mumsnetters feel the same way.

HOwever, I would never ever give my kid a sausage roll- I have seen them made- bleeeurgh

whatwasthatagain · 15/04/2010 21:00

Gosh - I would never be able to drive my DD to A&E after 8pm most nights. Isn't that what taxis are for?

SloanyPony · 15/04/2010 21:01

You sound a lot like me and a lot like the people I choose to be friends with. I like you.

BariatricObama · 15/04/2010 21:02

i bet you do a great cat's bum face

thatsnotmymonkey · 15/04/2010 21:04

that feel the same way. sorry, second bottle of san migeul.

abbierhodes · 15/04/2010 21:05

Thank you for posting this, I've considered a similar thread myself.
You've made me feel very normal!

EndangeredSpecies · 15/04/2010 21:08

Lurkers of MN, time to put fingers to keyboards!!

Great post Redazzy.

CallSignCharlie · 15/04/2010 21:10

As a serial lurker ( and a very shades of grey person) I just wanted to say What a great OP.

I agree with evey word of it (and I think so would many of my RL friends)

wukter · 15/04/2010 21:15

Me too.

Though sometimes I wish I was passionate about something and had a high horse to get up onto.

post · 15/04/2010 21:18

Lol at
'on one occasion, before a trip to the theatre, a gregg's sausage roll.'

lotster · 15/04/2010 21:18

Alright Malcolm X, chillout!!

Seriously though, I do agree with the nature of your Party Political Broadcast, I can usually find the middle ground/grey area in most mn/life debates.

Yanbu. Although sorry to tell you the spud doesn't count as veg

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/04/2010 21:21

What a great, honest and thought provoking post.

You do have a strong moral compass, we all do, it's just that yours is a understanding and levelled one rather than an extreme and judgey one

Redazzy · 15/04/2010 21:22

Firstly, thanks all. If you were in the room, I would put my wine sozzled arms around you, hug you tight and tell you how much I have always loved you!

Secondly, lotster, (Fingers in ears) la la la la la , I can't hear you!

OP posts:
lotster · 15/04/2010 21:26

Aah. Never mind. Sure your wine counts as one of your 5 a day. Grape are fruit...

lotster · 15/04/2010 21:28

Or grapes, even.

wukter · 15/04/2010 21:30

You see the b alance this lady has?
Theatre & Greggs in one evening

Redazzy · 15/04/2010 21:38

I agree Wukter, pure class, working and middle! Talk about confused!

OP posts:
Pozzled · 15/04/2010 22:07

Life is grey. (Although hopefully not in a gloomy depressing way!) Far too many people think in terms of black and white IMO, I'm definitely with you on this one.

I always LOL at the 'not being able to drive my kids to A&E' thing though, as a non-driver.

thisisnotwhoyouthink · 15/04/2010 22:10

Are you me? Can we be friends??????

skidoodly · 15/04/2010 22:16

Potatoes don't count as a vegetable for 5 a day?

What, even chips?