Today I witnessed what was possibley the most distressing thing I have even seen

[flixx]

And I don't know what I should have done about it.

Went to the park with DD this morning. While we were there they was a couple who had a boy of about 8ish in a specially adapted pram. I think he had cerebal palsy. The boy kept putting his hand in his mouth and sucking his hand. The father was at first removing the boys hand from his mouth, fair enough.

But as the boy kept doing it the man began actaully slapping his hand away really quite forceably. He was shouting at him to "bloody pack it in" as well. His behaviour was really agressive

The poor boy was clearly very distressed and was crying out every time the man did this.

The man than pinned the boys arms down by his side and growling at him thats how he'd have to stay if he didn't pack it in. They walked off then so I don't know what happened next

I felt so upset for the boy but didn't not know what to do. So I did nothing but can't stop thinking about that poor child

At what point does bad parenting become abuse

And what should I have done?

OP I think you could have done very little besides intervene, which is what I would have done, and irrespective of parental pressure hitting any child is wrong but hitting a child with SN who was doing nothing worng is bizarre and cruel.

But isnt AIBU all about going by someone elses view of a situation? If its so impossible to verify anyones point of view why frequent this board at all?

if its a situation they are actually involved in, not just sitting looking and judging, not understanding anything.

I can't beleive someone anyways who says "it was the worst thing I've ever seen, but I did nothing"
Bravo, well done Ms Upstanding Citizen.

flixx having read your second post.....
sounds like the man was being OTT and needed a slap himself.

zapostrophe appears to have diluted this thread brilliantly

I agree with the earlier statement that this really does highlight how little support families receive when they have a child with SN.

How many times have I read on MN about respite carer not turning up, or being cancelled?

How many times have I read about the battles that parents of children with SN have to fight?

Not enough that they have the extra worry and care that comes with parenting a child with SN, they also have to fight to get the child diagnosed in the first place, fight for every single bit of help and assistance, fight to get their DC into the best school for the child...

It is a disgrace.

I read that the rates of divorce are very high as the strain it puts on the parents can be so great.

I would happily put my name to a MN campaign for better support for parents of children with SN.

that's awful fio and it makes me mad to see the local sn playschemes trying to raise money where some others are just given it.

MMeLimdt
if I recall correctly the divorce/seperation rate after a child is diagnosed with SN/disability is 9 out of 10.
Can't remember where I heard that stat- someone probably told me just after we got diagnosis- but it doesn't surprise me

OP: If you're seriously concerned, you have a moral obligation to contact SS, NSPCC or the Police.

I am seriously concearned but how the hell do I report someone who I saw in the park? Do I follow them home? go up to him and ask for his name? Thats my point, I am concerned and I wish I'd acted at the time and now don't know what to do!

And I may not have "walked a mile in the shoes of a father caring for a child with CP" But I do know that repeatedly slapping someone is abusive behaviour regardless of wether it is being done to a child with or without special needs, or any other human being for that matter! Having a shit time does not excuse abusive behaviour!!

MmeLindt it won't happen......because it costs too much

Why is this in AIBU?

I am in the position to see it from the side of the parents mentioned in OP.

I have DS1 who has CP & does very similar with biting his hands.
What sounded like that father was slapping his son's hand away, could be like what I do of batting it away from his mouth. We have to do this quickly with my ds as he would bite his hand very hard if he saw that we were trying to move his hand.

We have also had to pin ds' hands down by his sides at times too. This does get very frustrating, especially as ds therapists are constantly on about stopping him from biting his hands.

Have yelled at ds1. sworn.
Not good. Talked to dh about it being poor patenting.
It happens. Try to make sure it doesn't again.

It is never okay to repeatedly hit anybody, no matter what the provocation.

It doesn't matter whether that man was at the end of his tether or not.

He was totally in the wrong, and I feel sorry for that child.