I know I'm being a cow but DH and his bloody napping

[minxofmancunia]

Expect IABU but here goes. Dh has always had a thing about sleep, seems to need a lot of it, needs naps all the f**king time, is a nasty vicious bastard if he doesn't get his 10 hour ration. Makes me . It's not just me being a bitch about this btw, all our friends and my family have questionned his sleep habits asking if he has some sort of medical problem as he seems so obsessed with it, he hasn't it's just the way he's been brought up.

On the other hand I have chronic insomnia gets worse and wosre as I get older, spend hours lying awake. Have tried EVERYTHING. Aside from sleeping for 3 hours every pm (which is the only time I seem to be able to have restful sleep) which isn't possible with 7 month old and 3.5 year old i have to exist in a state of chronic sleep deprivation. But i do it because i have to! I work, i do childcare, I do housework, I have various hobbies, i organise everything re holidays house stuff, dcs activities appointments etc. I just DO IT.

Since having dcs DH obviously has had to cut back on his soporific pastime, with disastrous effects. Even on 7-8 hours he's in a vile f**king mood and just WON'T stay awake. E.g. playing with dd, lenas on hand lying on floor doses off. In the evening spending a couple of precious hours with me, doses off. In from work sits on the sofa doses off. This is afetr 7-8 hours uniterrupted night sleep which he gets every other night (we take it in turns at night with dcs, 7mo is a lot better but 3.5 year old shouts out sometimes). he does LOADS of exercise and IMO it's making him even more "tired" which means the house is a pit because he just doesn't do stuff and we never have a conversation as he's always dosing. Enough energy for his 3 hour mountain bike rides at the weekend though .

If we do have babysitters we go out and it's whinge whinge whinge about being tired despite him knowing FULL WELL that I'm exhausted, clinically, as described by the GP!!

I'm sick of his need for excess sleep governing our lives. he's also (and this REALLY pisses me off) left work a bit early and rather than go straight to nursery to get dd has come home for a "cuppa" dosed off and left poor dd at nursery. Cue me getting home from work late, dh asleep and dd still at nursery. Race round to pick her up and she's the last one there looking so sad makes me and .

I now have to phone him when I know he's at home and due to pick her up to make sure he's awake.

I only have myself to blame though, he's always been like this, when we first met i worked shifts he was a studetn STILL (age 27 I should have known then) and when he got his first job I either had to ring from and early shift at 8.00am to wake him up OR set MY alarm to wake him up when I was on a late and could have been having a lie IN!!! He still refuses to set an alarm to this day relying on me or the dcs to get him up. If we didn't he'd have been sacked from every job by now. Actually I've now refused to do this anymore and he has to have an alarm which he's not happy about.

My Mum thinks he's "abnormal" with his sleep issues, I agree AIBU?????

princessparty - that clip your dad had was an oximeter. It recorded the oxygen saturation levels in his blood (ie when he stops breathing his sats go down and that shows on the oximeter read out). That is one of the studies/tests that the sleep/CPAP nurses do to assess sleep apnoea.

"does loads of training as well as it being his natural build"

a. probably adding to tiredness
b. time to exercise isn't a right, you know. if you need to sleep because you're up all night or whatever he should forgo his vanity gym sessions.
c. he sounds like an infantilized arse tbf.

beenbeta thanks for your post it's very interesting. Dhs snoring has only been a severe problem for the last 4 years or so, prior to that (before dcs) he only used to snore badly when drunk. he only gets what i would call drunk a couple of times a year now although he does have a few cans/pints a couple of times a week. If he goes over a 4 pint limit the snoring is terrible so to be fair on him he always stops at 4 these days even if he's with mates on a big night out.

I have slept apart from him after ds was born as I said i couldn't cope with ds AND his snoring waking me up. Obviously ds woke me up to feed every few hours but inbetween those times I slpet like a dream. the logistic of seprate sleeping are difficult in our house. One of us has to sleep on the futon in ds room (thus being woken by his ruffles and snuffles!) or the sofa which means even less sleep.

I've been banging on about a loft conversion since we moved in to make it a 4 bed so i can have my own "suite"! the other option is now (praying to god and fingers x-ed)is for boths dcs to go in dds room and ds room to be a spare room for a while.

On a positive note I went to yoga last night, had a chamomile tea when i got in and slpet from 11.30 to 6.30 when ds woke me up with only 1 brief 10 minute wake up myself at 5am!!! A miracle for me! This morning I've already got ds up given him milk and breakfast, sorted dd out for nursery watered the garden and hung a load of washing out! Compared to most morning where I'm stumbling around clutching a cup of tea like a zombie and even changing a nappy seems like too much

Also and don't want to tempt fate here ds has slpet from 8pm to between 6 and 7am for 5 nights now, dare I hope this may be "it"? I fear not but am going to enjoy it whilst it lasts.

A friend of mine had a sleep disorder that made him fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Can't remember what it was called. He had to have tablets to keep him awake and wasn't allowed to drive.

He still wasn't ever vicious to his girlfriend though!

I'm tried at the moment because we have a 4 month old who feeds through the night and I was certainly in a bad mood last night but no-one would have called me vicious and it doesn't happen all the time. There's a difference between being tired and grumpy occasionally and bloody selfish and nasty all the time!

Poor you

Sounds like someone hit the nail on the head by saying his sleep issues are causing yours though.

My father had a very similar thing, very tired, needed to sleep lots. He's just been diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer. I think your partner needs to be checked out.

My DH sleeps alot but then again so do i. He is starting a job next week so is lying in this week. But i have been going for naps in the afternoon when he gets up. I feel tired all the time. But i am anemic and that can sometimes cause tiredness. I can be wide awake one minute and the next be nodding off on the sofa.

My stepdad always doses off wherever he is. My mum and stepdad came over on saturday and i went into town with my mum and DC, DH and DSD stayed her. When we got hime DH said DSD is a barrell of laughs isnt he,@, dosing off and then waking to comment on something on TV then falling to sleep again. Lol.