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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be unsypathetic to this pg "friend" on facebook

40 replies

pud1 · 14/04/2010 13:08

i use the term friend loosly as i havent seen her since school as i have moved away but she is constanly posting about how bad she feels being pg.
every time i read a comment i tut to myself. she is 11 weeks and for the past 8 or so weeks she has just moaned about being tired, feeling sick, being bloated..... she puts a new comment on about 3 times a day. the lastest is regarding wanting to go to bed. i remember being pregnant and it can be a pain but ffs just get on with it.

OP posts:
thisisnotwhoyouthink · 14/04/2010 13:10

Just hide her updates. End of drama.

BusyMissIzzy · 14/04/2010 13:12

Maybe she genuinely does feel crap and tired all the time, or maybe she wants attention, or maybe she's bored. Maybe all of the above.

Ignore it or de-friend her if it bothers you that much?

TrillianAstra · 14/04/2010 13:13

You can hide her updates, or unfriend her. You don't have to read it.

Firawla · 14/04/2010 13:14

maybe she has found it more difficult than you did? just ignore her comments if you don't have anything nice to say to her.
there are probably people on her fb who actually care how she is and the updates are meant for them not you?

belgo · 14/04/2010 13:16

She probably does feel awful.

If you're not interested, then don't read it. No one is forcing you.

MorrisZapp · 14/04/2010 13:19

Why on earth is this a problem. I don't get it.

Unfriend her if you find her so boring.

RedRedWine1980 · 14/04/2010 13:19

I had an acquaintance like this in the end I deleted her as everyday was minor pregnancy drama number 46437383.

I have sympathy but when its all someone ever goes on about you have to think what they will be like when their PFB is born and the constant telling the world about the consistency of prince/princesses nappies and how they swear they said 'mummy' aged two weeks.

Urgh

LadyintheRadiator · 14/04/2010 13:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbieLovesKen · 14/04/2010 13:28

I dont really see the problem if I'm honest..

fartblossom · 14/04/2010 13:39

Like PP have said, hide her.

I know where you are coming from though, where I used to work the person who sat opposite me was pregnant and every day it was baby this baby that. Plus everything was a big drama. Id had one child by that point so knew about my experience of pregnancy and really couldnt understand the big drama with it all. I got pregnant after her and someone else in the office actually said to me something along the lines of "Its nice to have a pregnant person who doesnt actually go on about it".

I personally think that just cos you are going through a big thing not everybody wants to hear about it every minute of the day.

skihorse · 14/04/2010 13:49

You don't need to be sympathetic - but you could stop being such a fucking bitch about it.

MrsC2010 · 14/04/2010 14:17

I've culled a number of people off my facebook, and there are a couple whose updates I can't be bothered with so I've 'hidden' them.

YANBU. I'm pregnant and so far have been very lucky, no sickness etc etc. (Fingers crossed, am 24 wks now so hopefully have escaped that bit...) I did get very tired but tried to avoid posting lots of updates cause there is nothing worse than someone who obsesses about ANYTHING on FB.

RedRedWine1980 · 14/04/2010 14:20

Ive got a friend who is ALWAYS bleating on about his computer he is selling- how he's going to smash it up because nobody wants to buy it and going on a woe is me trip- people have told him to stfu about it and put it in the small ads/on ebay yet its relentless- so hes been hidden

MadamDeathstare · 14/04/2010 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneS · 14/04/2010 14:29

She might be the first in her close circle of friends, or the first child/sister in the family to be pregnant - if that's the case I bet the status updates are communicating with a crowd of excited people to whom it's all a new experience.

One of my old school friends was the first of us to be pregnant last year, and the whole crowd of us were hooked on her status updates - we were really rooting for her and we didn't care if she posted a new one every day. If you find someone else's pregnancy boring, ignore it.

marmalade32 · 14/04/2010 14:39

Try another tactic and ask her how she is one day. Ask if you can help. People are right, maybe she's struggling and has no one to help. I had a truly horrific pregnancy, right through from it being suspected ectopic to chucking up every day until I got pre eclampsia and was induced early, and with no family where I am to help me I found it really tough. I'm sure I was a pregnancy bore too but only because I wanted some advice and help but was a bit unsure how to ask for it. I know you said you barely know her or remember her but it's a nice thing to do. Plus there's the bonus that if she's attention seeking and not actually ill then ot might stop her.

Pikelit · 14/04/2010 14:51

I can't be doing with getting constant FB updates that get on my nerves. I hide them or just "defriend" the person since I already have a ridiculous number of alleged "friends". In fact I am about to do a cull of people I don't actually know. I recently got one of those Facebook pages and now, if people want a glimpse of the stuff I'm doing they can get it without having to pretend friendship!

Going back to the OP, isn't everyone a pregnancy bore at some time or another? We might forget just how tiresome it must have been to listen to every single sodding detail but I'm willing to bet we were guilty!

thesecondcoming · 14/04/2010 15:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thedollshouse · 14/04/2010 15:13

All status reports are pointless. I would rather read about someones pregnancy then have to read about how a 38 year old got wasted yet again or how someones marriage is falling apart. I left fb because it was too much like the Jeremy Kyle show but with people on it that you vaguely know.

fartblossom · 14/04/2010 16:12

Pikelit - Sorry, you've lost your bet. I never brought my pregnancies (is it ies or ys?) up unless someone asked. Even then I didnt go into too much detail cos Im well aware people can find that other peoples little details can get really boring. Just wanted to say that yes it is tiresome to listen to every single sodding detail, but we're not all guilty of it.

Original poster
pud1 · 14/04/2010 16:29

i have just de friended her.

ther friend who has just split from her husband and uses fb as a way of pissing him off. she has just posted a new album called my new life and it is full of pictures of her rolling about on the floor and bed. the photos have obviously been taken by herself. she has been defriended too.

OP posts:
libelulle · 14/04/2010 16:30

YANBU. I think it's also incredibly insensitive, as there are no doubt people on her friends list who would dearly love to be pregnant but for various reasons aren't (or can't) - or have had recent losses. I'm pg at the moment and haven't breathed a word on fb, for precisely that reason - and I've had the pregnancy from hell so far.

princessparty · 14/04/2010 17:23

FGS you are being an utter b*tch.It is absolutely dreadful to feel sick every waking moment.That is her life at the moment.You don't have to read or respond to her comments (although it would be nice and supportive if you could)

piratecat · 14/04/2010 17:26

yawns at op's need to share this.

RedRedWine1980 · 14/04/2010 17:29

If someone feels that sick or tired etc- go to bed.

I personally cant fucking stand martyrs who sit whining and updating how ill they are all the time- go to bed or suck it up and deal. There are far worse things in life than morning sickness and I speak as someone who had bad HG with both pregnancies.