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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that the nurse who did my smear test was being nosy with her follow up questions?

64 replies

GoingPostal · 13/04/2010 12:00

just been for a smear test. nurse finished, asked if I was on the pill. I thought perhaps this was a necessary question re smear so said no, then she said "so just using condoms?" - answered "well I'm widowed and don't really have an active sex life."

She said nothing to that, then asked me about an auto immune condition I have, which I see a GP at the same practice about.

am quite cross now. She's not my GP, she doesn't treat or prescribe for my auto-immune condition. I didn't ask for contraceptive advice and I don't see that it was her place to start asking these questions. Is this normal and IABU or is she just nosy?

OP posts:
RedRedWine1980 · 13/04/2010 12:07

She is a health care professional, not just a cleaner or something! She will have to record the procedure and other relevant information in your medical records so why shouldn't she ask?

belgo · 13/04/2010 12:10

All standard questions. You don't have to answer them but as a health professional she is obliged to ask about your health.

Original poster
GoingPostal · 13/04/2010 12:13

i wasn't equating her with being a cleaner! I was questioning whether she needed to ask about an auto-immune condition which she cannot prescribe for, examine me for (specialist procedure) or refer me for. And as she could see from my notes that I have it, she should also be able to see that I saw my GP about it only yesterday. So why is she asking how I am managing with it?

re contraception - I think it would be better if someone said "are you happy with your contraceptive options, can I give you any advice?" rather than just firing off questions about it - I might be ttc, have a low libido, be being prescribed the pill by the GP, or as I said to her, not sexually active right now for rather personal and difficult reasons (again my marital status is in my notes had she cared to look).

I simply don't see why it's her role to start asking these things at the end of an appointment for something completely different.

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 13/04/2010 12:14

I have had lots of smears and have never been asked any questions.

RedRedWine1980 · 13/04/2010 12:15

Because they are OBLIGED to ask questions about sexual health when they do smear tests as the HPV virus is one of the main causes of cervical cancer- the other thing she prob just wanted to record in your notes you are getting on okay etc- why is she 'nosy'? She is a professional doing a job and she is probably more then likely able to prescribe if need be!

lucky1979 · 13/04/2010 12:16

YABU - especially with the "not her place", what is she, a serving girl?

RedRedWine1980 · 13/04/2010 12:17

Record keeping is a major part of a nurses role though- for example if she DIDNT ask about your condition/medication and therefore didnt make any records about it- if something happened to you she could be questioned in court as to why she didnt enquire whether you were otherwise well. Dont take it so personally!

SalFresco · 13/04/2010 12:17

Did you ask her why she wanted to know? She might have been able to give you a reason.

SpicedGerkin · 13/04/2010 12:21

'Because they are OBLIGED to ask questions about sexual health when they do smear tests as the HPV virus is one of the main causes of cervical cancer'

That's strange because i've never been asked anything like that, ever.

belgo · 13/04/2010 12:21

GoingPostal nurses are not just trained in carrying out procedures as ordered by the doctor.

They are health professionals in their own right and are taught about the holistic care of the patient - looking at all aspects of the patient's health.

Goingspare · 13/04/2010 12:28

I've never been asked either. I'm sure the nurse had her reasons, but perhaps communicating effectively with her patient should be a part of her professional role, and it doesn't sound as if she did that particularly well.

Original poster
GoingPostal · 13/04/2010 12:31

ok I am obv BU - though like others I have not been asked questions like this before during routine smear tests.

re "not her place" sorry, that was a bad choice of words, I know she's a health professional, she was sticking a speculum up me and taking a swab fgs, and I have the utmost respect for nurses. BUT she is not a doctor, I have seen the dr about the auto immune condition, about which she can do nothing and it is not in any way related to my sexual health.

I think there are better ways of asking about someone's health than just questioning them about contraceptive methods. if she was that concerned about my well being, why didn't she follow up on me saying I'm widowed and ask how I am coping with that?

OP posts:
RedRedWine1980 · 13/04/2010 12:32

Its good practice to ask about contraception when someone has a smear test- its also good practice to record relevent medical history in a patients notes.

snigger · 13/04/2010 12:32

To be honest, unless you have a particularly glorious cervix, I doubt she'd give a stuff about your life - probably doing her best while waiting for her lunch break and wishing she hadn't worn nippy shoes.

I think we're a lot more sensitive as patients than health care chaps can afford to be - it's got to be like another day at Tesco's for the smear nurses, I'm sure.

I'd be glad she took longer than the minimum and gave a toot - maybe you're at the doc's infrequently and she was just giving you an opportunity to voice any concerns? Or maybe she was just making small talk while you got your pants back on?

I hate smears. We have a very "Ooh Matron" nurse at the practice and she makes me feel ashamed of my sex life - I'm sure she checks for chafing.

Kewcumber · 13/04/2010 12:32

I also have an autoimmune condition and wouldn;t think it at all odd if a nurse asked me about it. I wouldn;t assume it was anything to do with the smear just a professional interest in a condition they might not come across very often. If you didn;t want to get into it "fine thanks" generally does the job.

Maybe she has other patients with the same condition and wanted to hear how you were getting on. I'm slightly surprised that you feel it was such an imposition.

I much prefer a nurse asking me about my health when making conversation than a hairdresser asking me about my holidays which is immeasurably dull.

Original poster
GoingPostal · 13/04/2010 12:36

ok I will get over myself - but am now curious - do the nurses have different notes to the GPs if they're all in one practice together? my assumption is that they would all look at the same thing when they call up my details on the screen.

OP posts:
belgo · 13/04/2010 12:39

GoingPostal- if you were offended by the questions, perhaps the tone in which you answered her put her off from asking any more questions?

A great many patients would appreciate the opportunity to talk about their health - which they do not necessarily get when seeing an often busy doctor - and I disagree with you that she can not do anything related to your condition - as a nurse she will be able to advise on occupational therapy referrals for example and self help groups. This is what nurses are taught to do - not compartmentalise the health of their patient - but to consider all aspects of the patient's health and wellbeing.

Original poster
GoingPostal · 13/04/2010 12:40

probably not belgo, as I maintained a cheery and practical demeanour as I answered.

OP posts:
ClaireDeLoon · 13/04/2010 12:43

My last smear the nurse asked me about contraception, told her we were ttc and she said that as my cervix tilts back we should aim for deep penetration so was glad she asked really. I dodn't think it was odd. The bit about your other condition does seem a little odd I suppose.

Dogandbone · 13/04/2010 12:43

Don't take it personally. I think that after the 6 week check (am I showing my age?) they are obiged to ask you about contraception. 6 weeks after giving birth!

Blu · 13/04/2010 12:49

"it would be better if someone said "are you happy with your contraceptive options, can I give you any advice?"

I agree.

But I think she was probably being benign, and that you, understandably and justifiably, felt upset / cross because she put you in the position of having to counter her assumptions with the fact of your widow-hood. Which is exactly why your proposed way of asking would be better. You should market a training course on 'how to ask open questions when dealing with patients'

lovechoc · 13/04/2010 12:58

I think this is all standard practice to be asked this at a smear - I wasn't offended when asked and I had my smear just last year. I said we aren't using anything and haven't for a few years now - in the hope of falling pg...But if we weren't trying I wouldn't mind sharing my contraceptive habits with a HP. He/she is just doing their job nothing to do with noseiness.

lovechoc · 13/04/2010 13:01

oh and I also have an auto-immune condition and was asked about it at the time but was only asked what medication I was on and the daily dose, which she jotted down on the notes and moved on to another topic.Very matter of fact when I think back to it now...

5Foot5 · 13/04/2010 13:04

At my last smear I was asked to fill in a questionnaire about bladder weakness.

Maybe I am classed as being "of a certain age"

DramaInPyjamas · 13/04/2010 13:13

My last smear I was asked if I had anything nice for lunch that day - she's not my dietitan or personal chef! am not bothered really ffs.
She's not going to be on the phone to her mates afterwards to have a giggle at your notes.

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