to think that the nurse who did my smear test was being nosy with her follow up questions?

[GoingPostal]

just been for a smear test. nurse finished, asked if I was on the pill. I thought perhaps this was a necessary question re smear so said no, then she said "so just using condoms?" - answered "well I'm widowed and don't really have an active sex life."

She said nothing to that, then asked me about an auto immune condition I have, which I see a GP at the same practice about.

am quite cross now. She's not my GP, she doesn't treat or prescribe for my auto-immune condition. I didn't ask for contraceptive advice and I don't see that it was her place to start asking these questions. Is this normal and IABU or is she just nosy?

For all these reasons I pay privately for my smear tests and have them done by a gynaecologist who wouldn't dream of treating me like an idiot and asking me these patronising idiot questions. If you don't have your smear test done by your GPs practice in this county you get a letter that also treates you like an idot from a man
who works in the Health Quthority office. When I got mine I rang him up and personally told him how offended I was that he should write to me about my nether regions, he semed to find this very embarassing - as so he should have.

I'm not too keen on seeing nurses for anything medical - they don't seem to be very professional in their dealings with people on the whole. My worst experience ever was at a family planning clinic some years ago where the nurse was very forceful, hurt me and made me cry - she said crossly " If you can't cope with this I don't know how you manage to have sex at all" never again.
On the whole I've found the more you pay the nicer they are and the less they hurt you.

bit off higgle to tar all nurses with the same brush!! they aren't all like that! I could say many negative things about MWs but I realise that you get all different personalities working in these professions - good and bad. Some I've met who are wonderful and others not so.

I always ask about patients history just in case there is anything I can help them with whilst they are with me or if there is anything they would like to discuss.

I'm not being nosy, I just care about my patients enough to ask.

YABU

if she had asked you how much your mortgage was, how much you owe on credit cards and what bra size you wear, then yes, taht would be nosy

but asking questions related to your sexual health and contraceptive use at your smear test seems entirely appropriate, YABVVVU

I've had to have 6 monthly smears for a while as I had borderline results and the nurse always asks me about my asthma when i go, to save me having to go to a seperate appt for teh clinic, to tell her all is well

Re the contraception question - it is relevant to the smear test as hormones (OCP, POP, Implanon, Depo-provera, Mirena, HRT etc) can all affect the appearance of the cervical cells. So it is important to know that. Even if the computer records in the practice show a patient has been taking the OCP for example, they may have stopped recently since their last visit.
They have probably combined this with a quick check on contraceptive requirements.

I have always been asked questions when I have had a smear test. I always get asked when was the last time I had sex - I assume that if it is very recent it cold affect the test result? But I have also been asked about contraception etc as at our practice it is the nurse who usually deals with that. I don't know, but is it possible that your auto immune condition could affect the result? Or maybe she was just getting a general picture of your health and trying to put you at ease. I am sure she wasn't 'being nosy'.

Going Postal - can understand your frustration at being asked (indirectly) about your sex life when you are widowed.

She was probably just going through her standard questions and didn't realise that this could be a sensitive area.

Hope it goes better next time...

OP, so sorry to hear about your being widowed. I don't know how recent that was but I imagine it makes questions about contraception choices all the more unwelcome.

I think that it's common practice for some health professionals to use appointments such as smear tests, as an opportunity to do a quick health check with patients. Some people are ok with it and see it as a chance to bring up any concerns, others see it as intrusive. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel a bit taken aback to be asked questions you weren't expecting (especially as smear tests are not a relaxing environment) but I think that's all there was to it. Sometimes asking a load of questions that seem a bit nosy can throw up some useful responses. I think that it's always ok to ask someone why they're asking a particular question if you feel uncomfortable about answering. Any practitioner worth their salt should be able to explain why they're asking.

Last time I was asked what contraception I used, if it was suiting me, if I would consider switching to a more long term method of contraception. They said that the government were trying to encourage the use of more long term contraceptives, so they had to ask everyone about them. No doubt there were targets to hit!

Actually I think YANBU you were there to have a smear test done, she is not your GP IMO she shouldn't be asking questions to do something that has nothing to do with smear tests.
I truly find smears and such like distressing if the nurse then starts on about other crap during or after it really distracts me from keeping calm. Since they seem incapable of concentrating on the matter at hand I no longer have anything gynecological done.

I've been asked this at every smear test. I don't think the nurse is enquiring about your contraception to get her rocks off. it's not she's asking you how often you have sex and what is your preferred position.

Perhaps you should have just asked her nicely why she needed to know, instead of getting huffy about it then complaining about her? The practice nurse at my GPs is often the person i go to when I can't get in with my GP for a while. She's brilliant and picked up on a dodgy looking mole on my leg and got me referred to the skin cancer clinic. Nurses aren't glorified admin assistants, they're medical professionals. So yeah, you're B U.

If it helps cheer you up, my last smear test (about 4 months after giving birth), the nurse commented on it all "still being a bit raw down there"

And I thought mine was extra pretty.

YABU - I have my smears done at the family planning clinic and at each appointment, including the 6 monthly FP appointments, I am asked all sorts of questions. I answer them because they aren't asking the questions just for fun. As cupcakes says nurses are qualified medical professionals, not receptionists.

And Thediaryofanobody are you seriously not having smear tests because you don't like the medical staff asking questions you consider to be irrelevant?? My former colleague died of cervical cancer aged 21. She was deemed too young to have a smear test. Please don't put embarrassment above your health.

No not because I don't like Qs but because I find it very emotionally distressing for days before, during, after and even though I've explained this to them and asked for notes to be put on my records they seem to love drawing the process out as long as possible. I've been told by a nurse to stop being pathetic when I've managed to have children so I obviously don't mind someone viewing my genitals.
I'm currently trying to work out a solution like another poster mentioned I might try paying for it privately and asking them to respect my wishes.

Diary please get a smear done. If you don't and something nasty crops up you'll have your lulu prodded and poked a LOT more than at a pap smear! It takes ten seconds. Get it done.

I do find it difficult to understand why you would find it so distressing to have a smear test but you must have your reasons and they are personal to you. The whole process, from inserting speculum to asking you to get dressed should take about two mintues. It's not a pleasant thing but it is so very, very important.

Maybe they aren't deliberately drawing the process out, maybe they are just being thorough. Which is what you want. Even if you pay for a private smear there is no guarantee that it will take any less time. The doctor/nurse doing it will be as thorough as they need to be to ensure that you are tested properly.

diaryofanobody - as my response says contraception can affect the appearance of the cervical cells and reading of the sample so that is relevant to the procedure.
I agree that if you don't feel comfortable answering a question or are wondering why they're asking that any HCP should be ok with explaining the reason for it.

diary - I do sympathise. I find smears much more painful since I had my children - and when I had my second Mirena coil put in I was nearly crawling the walls, and ended up crying (it brought back nasty birth memories). I'd advise taking paracetamol,and codeine before a smear, and the GP told me that next time I go for a coil she can prescribe something heavy duty beforehand. There is no excuse for anyone making off-the-cuff remarks about this

AFAIK, well at my practice, the GP's and nurses have access to the same computer system and through being a nosy parker I have gathered that said system actually prompts HCP's to ask 'routine questions'

I agree Bela - I think they ask re the contraceptive pill cos the test is supposed to be 'mid-cycle' and the pill obviously affects your cycle ie whether you ovulate or not and the mucus etc (er sorry details but that can affect sample). I always get asked if on pill - but if I'm not (have been switching cos headaches) I don't then get a load of 'family planning' questions re condoms, which obviously wouldn't affect your cycle. Now this of course could be cos I'm an old bag and if I suggested I even wanted another baby the nurse would fall about laughing. But I can't recall being asked about condoms when I was younger, either. hmmm. Maybe if you find that intrusive (and certainly the auto-immune disease conversation) you should point out that you discuss things like that with your preferred GP in the surgery - agree there is no call for unprompted remarks that are not appropriate to the smear.

I read the cervical screening samples - these things do effect it. So for example the hormonal pattern that comes with depo-provera use is similar to that seen post-natally or in a more atrophic cervix (older/post-menopausal women).

YANBU - Its out of order to put you in the position of having to explain your circumstances like that. I ave NEVER been asked any quesions but if they must do, the general inquiry is enough.

May I suggest she was probably thrown by you saying you were widowed and jumped to the only other bit of information she had gleaned from your record as something else to say to change the subject because she was uncomfortable?

At my last one she asked me if I was okay because I had a bruise on my forehead (DS smacked me in the face with a big wooden train ). Then offered me a toffee!

I expect I'm on my own here but I hate being asked about what I'm doing for contraception at any form of medical appointment. IMO it's nobody's business and if I want advice I'll ask for it.