To say DS and I won't be attending this event?

[flootshoot]

DH?s aunt (let?s call her AIL) is having a big birthday bash next month ? it?s an afternoon do going into the evening and it?s no children ? fair enough ? this isn?t a thread about child-free parties, I have no problem with people making that choice. Apparently the venue is right on the riverbank so not particularly safe anyway. We are having trouble finding a baby sitter for 1yo DS as no family nearby (plus DH?s family will all be at the party) and most of our friends are busy (or incompetent!!).

DH then tells me his plan (which apparently is what he suggested in the first place ) - PIL are getting a hotel room near the venue and so we could take DS with us and leave him at the hotel , taking in turns to look after him. I have issues with this, namely:

1. DS will be bored rigid stuck in a hotel room all day and if we are doing shifts we won?t really be able to take him out for any length of time.
2. How am I going to get there and back for my ?shift? as I don?t drive?
3. PIL haven?t even booked a hotel yet so no way of knowing where it will be (or, indeed, if they?ll be able to get one at all)
4. It will mean DH and I will be at the party separately ? I will know hardly anyone and being there on my own hardly appeals.

So I said if it came to that I just wouldn?t go ? I have no problem missing it and staying home with DS. But apparently (and, again I have been told this already according to DH ? double ), AIL wants to see DS and show him to her friends. So basically he isn?t welcome at the party but we are expected to drive him there (it?s over and hour away), show him off for half an hour or whatever, then take him back to a hotel and attempt to entertain him (and this will include trying to settle him at bedtime only to drive him home later on.)

Deep down I know I am annoyed because this is blatantly another of FIL?s half baked plans that DH is going along with because it never occurs to him to say no!

So? AIBU to simply put my foot down and say DS won?t be going to this event, full stop? I know they would like to see him but they all know where we are, are welcome to visit anytime, and we are happy to take DS to them when he can be included fully.

What do you sage people think??

I wouldnt go.

Sod that -I would stay at home with ds.

YANBU. I wouldn't go either.

you don't want to go, so don't go

If ail wants to see him then she should invite him

Yanbu.

I think that "No" is a complete sentence.

Bonkers idea and crappy for all of you

I wouldn't go.

If the AIL wants to show your ds off to everyone, she should invite him to the party.

what compo said

Thank you, I'm glad you see it my way.

DH and FIL both have a habit of coming with slightly bonkers plans - FIL in particular I suspect because the more illogical the plan, the more power it gives him IYSWIM (eg., 'let's all meet at my house before x event - makes no sense but means he knows where everyone is). They both will go extreme lengths to fix a problem, rather than accepting that sometimes a problem just can't be fixed!!

Hana - it's not that I don't want to go, I would quite happy if we could just find a babysitter to look after DS at home!! Any takers?

not on your nelly!

YANBU! I wouldn't go. And if she really wants to "show them off" why don't you send her some photos.

No is the obvious answer but what if it is a nice hotel with a pool and nice walks? You and DS get a free mini-break out of it.

You could go to the party with DS for an hour or so (free lunch) then get DH to drive you both back to the hotel,leaving you there for a nice relaxing bit of quality time. Everyone is happy.

You would need to have a say on the hotel choice to make this work.

mummyofexcitedprincesses - that would be lovely but sadly the likelihood is that it'll be a travelodge or similar.

If I was in your situation I wouldn't go. YANBU

YANBU. If they want to see your DS, they need to invite him. Can't have it both ways.

YANBU.

What twoistwiceasfun said.

hahahha
If you go along with their plan you will have a whale of a time. Not.
Just be graceful. Send photos and a big present. If she really wanted to see your DS, she wouldn't be deeming it a child-free party, frankly, would she?

YANBU You DS isn't a pretty doll to be paraded when convenient only to be put back in the toy chest when she's board of playing with him.

How utterly bizarre. YANBU - I wouldn't do it. Not a blind chance.

Agree with twoistwiceasfun/others.

It might be a situation where a white lie is called for though, just for the avoidance of ongoing ridiculous discussion of the matter. Can you play along for now and then claim illness as the day approaches? People with tiny DCs are always ill anyway (at least we were ...)

yanbu - sounds like a right pain in the backside sort of a plan.