To say DS and I won't be attending this event?

[flootshoot]

DH?s aunt (let?s call her AIL) is having a big birthday bash next month ? it?s an afternoon do going into the evening and it?s no children ? fair enough ? this isn?t a thread about child-free parties, I have no problem with people making that choice. Apparently the venue is right on the riverbank so not particularly safe anyway. We are having trouble finding a baby sitter for 1yo DS as no family nearby (plus DH?s family will all be at the party) and most of our friends are busy (or incompetent!!).

DH then tells me his plan (which apparently is what he suggested in the first place ) - PIL are getting a hotel room near the venue and so we could take DS with us and leave him at the hotel , taking in turns to look after him. I have issues with this, namely:

1. DS will be bored rigid stuck in a hotel room all day and if we are doing shifts we won?t really be able to take him out for any length of time.
2. How am I going to get there and back for my ?shift? as I don?t drive?
3. PIL haven?t even booked a hotel yet so no way of knowing where it will be (or, indeed, if they?ll be able to get one at all)
4. It will mean DH and I will be at the party separately ? I will know hardly anyone and being there on my own hardly appeals.

So I said if it came to that I just wouldn?t go ? I have no problem missing it and staying home with DS. But apparently (and, again I have been told this already according to DH ? double ), AIL wants to see DS and show him to her friends. So basically he isn?t welcome at the party but we are expected to drive him there (it?s over and hour away), show him off for half an hour or whatever, then take him back to a hotel and attempt to entertain him (and this will include trying to settle him at bedtime only to drive him home later on.)

Deep down I know I am annoyed because this is blatantly another of FIL?s half baked plans that DH is going along with because it never occurs to him to say no!

So? AIBU to simply put my foot down and say DS won?t be going to this event, full stop? I know they would like to see him but they all know where we are, are welcome to visit anytime, and we are happy to take DS to them when he can be included fully.

What do you sage people think??

YANBU. You are expected to go to these incredibly inconvenient lengths just because your AIL wants to "show your son to her friends"?

How about telling her she's welcome to bring her friends round to your house whenever she likes.

YANBU to say you and DS will not attend

Sod that for a game of soldiers!!

I could almost understand it if she lived hours away and you were meeting halfway, almost... but as she lives near enough to visit, no way. As others have said, if she wants to 'show him off' then she needs to invite him to the party.

Is it 'no children' because of the river? Is she worried there will be an accident? You could always call her and not your bonkers FIL and ask that as he's still 'a baby' and YOU will take total responsibility, shoud you just bring him to the party?

However, a lovely day at home, with DS, while DH faffs at the family event sounds better to me

But no, there's no way on Gods little green earth you should be shut up in some dismal travelodge for a day just so she can show him off for half an hour.

No way would I go!! Stay at home and relax

Life's too short - DH should go to the party as it's his family and if you fancy it, why not take your DS for an hour or so in the afternoon, then go home? You, your DH and DS all win?

I'd just go to the party and take DS! If she wants to show him off, then what else are you supposed to do? He's not a medal or something, that you can flash to her mates and then stick in a pocket or something.

Bugger that for a laugh. Stay home and have chocolate and a good DVD. They sound utterly bonkers.

Is this a unanimous YANBU?

I'm with Pozzled if AIL wants your DS to meet her friends then he needs to be included in the invitation. can't have it both ways. Sounds a bit mental to me.

have a fun filled day with just you and your ds at home

I agree with everyone else. If AIL wanted to see him she should invite him, not use him as something she can show off then shove back in the cupboard when she wants.

I think I'm amazed that you think you need the input from a bunch of strangers on the internet. If you don't want to be stuck in a room with a baby, talk to your husband - it's a family issue, not ours.