AIBU or is DH (food)

[LittleMrsHappy]

We decided last week that I was not going to do a food shop until I used the food in the store cupboard as we have more then enough as well as the freezer (meat & fish) to last us a few weeks, but also for us to have 2 meat free days a week.

So Ive done pretty good and inventing new foods that my dh and DC can eat, Ive made today's meals and Ive put tomorrow's meal in the slow cooker as Im away swimming and also doing my first aid pediatric refresher course tomorrow night.

So tomorrow's evening meals is a bean/lentil casserole (ish) dish, which is butter, kidney, pinto and haricot beans, passatta sauce, red and green lentils, fresh lemon grass, fresh root ginger, shallots, garlic, and mustard and also curry powder and mushrooms, which I was going to do with either fish or rice.

Dh has went in a complete strop and said that hes not eating it, as hes sick of not having proper meals

Is this not a proper meal or am I BU.

We had a discussion about us eating a meat free diet 2 days a week and he was happy about it, so AIBU to stick with our plans for the meat free days or should I just give up.

Were doing it this way due to ds2 (although he cannot eat this meal) and DH so that I dont have to cook 3-4 different dishes a night.

Dh does cook also, but atm due to working circumstances Its down to me at the min.

YANBU, unless he just doesn't like pulses and you knew that all along

Have you tried asking him what is his definition of a "proper meal" for the meat-free days? What you've describes sounds fine to me, but I guess he may have had some image in his mind which this doesn't match.

YANNNNNNBU to not want to cook different meals for the whole family every night - no-one should be expected to do that. But it sounds like either he wasn't really happy about not having meat, but was going along with your idea, or else he thought "not meat" would maybe be somthing else? A week seems very short for him to be "sick of it" when he agreed in the first place. But maybe the pace of change has been a bit much and one meal instead of 3 or 4, but not going meat-free yet might be a compromise?

YANBU

Treat him like a stroppy toddler. Cook the meal, but don't offer him anything else if he doesn't eat it!

It's not compulsory to have meat with every meal - how would vegetarians survive?

We have about half and half meaty/veggy.

My dh would grumble about it tbh, but I know that he's not a lentil/kidney bean kind of chap. I suppose the truth is that if I were you I'd feel a bit fed up, but if I were him I'd feel that I should be allowed to say if I wasn't enjoying the food. Time for a re-think maybe?

It sounds delicious! YANBU!

That sounds like a great meal, I'd eat it happily.

He is BU but why does he think it's not a proper meal?
Is it that he doesn't like pulses, or has just decided he wants meat with everything or is just being a moany arse?

do people have meat in their evening meal every day???

i'm not a vegitarian, quite happily eat meat, but only have a meat dish 1-3 time a week i thought this was 'normal'

in any case i think your dh is BU that sounds like a lovley meal

He loves beans, we have them alot with sausage casserole, chili etc... and if I haven't put them in he will ask, he loves his meat and veg, but not in boring "old" meals, as he does like to experiment due to him having a peanut allergy.

I will ask him tonight what does he want me to do when he comes in, as Im at a loss atm.

Well to be honest I'm not sure that a bean and lentil casserole is that many people's idea of a good time.

Food's more of an emotive subject then people tend to imagine, if eating this kind of food is making him feel down and stroppy, then telling him thats it's reasonable that he eats it won't change anything, it wont change how he feels.

Perhaps a there's a small change you can make which would make him feel better about the meal, for example maybe sticking a couple of sausages alongside it would make it 'feel' like a 'proper meal', it would work for me anyway... and minimal effort, just stick them under the grill 15 mins before serving.

I think it's perfectly reasonable not to eat slabs of meat with every meal. I spend a lot on good quality meat and can't afford it every day.

But I'm not sure the SE Asian flavours of lemongrass and galangal go that well with a bean stew. It may taste lovely, but the description wasn't that appetizing. Sorry.

I have done this kind of sauce previously and he liked it, but then it had mince added to it.

Im sure he has psychological issues, as he likes the sauce, but because it has no meat which Ive replaced with lentils, he has become somewhat

He does like trying new foods, he does like this sauce recipe etc... Im at a loss.

I will have a discussion with him the night, and see what his problem is.

I love pulses, I love beans - every kind. I frequently make thick italian bean soups/stews for lunch.

But even I'd chafe at wading through a thick curry/lemongrassy beanfest once a week. I think it's one of those sauces that works with meat, less so with beans.

the last I made a sauce this similar was about 3 months ago in a chili.

Maybe he thought the meat free days would be pizza and chips or cheese omelette. I know DP would!

DD isn't a huge fan of pulses, but tough, she can't always have her favourite.
I don't serve them up daily, or even weekly but unless she will vomit or die if she eats it, then she will eat it and she'll say thank you.

I can't be doing with fussiness, and I say that having a really fussy bf. I put up with him it as he doesn't live with me and I see him once a month or so for a few days so no problem to cook things he likes whilst he's here.

Fussy and ungrateful adults when it comes to food really piss me off.

Make him eat it once and if he really doesn't like it don't do it again? I would run a mile at a "bean meal" I am afraid. But that is just my personal taste - I am sure it is very nutritious and tasty if you like beans.

we are vegetarian but dh goes into a similar strop if he gets something that he doesn't like. I just tell him that he is welcome to cook something different anytime he likes.

MissHappy - "psychological issues"

my DW grew up where every dish is spicy, bland food drives her round the bend, I guess by your approximation she needs some kind of therapy?

A persons relationship with food is developed mostly during their upbringing, then to a lesser extent throughout their lives, it's not some kind of mental problem!

mugglewump - "Fussy and ungrateful adults when it comes to food really piss me off"

And people being intolerant/ignorant to other peoples culinary upbringing really piss me off, it's not like bring fussy about a B&B because you don't like the décor, of course you'll feel more strongly about food, it's intrinsic to your survival, sure you can force someone to eat food they don't like, but don't expect them not to be unhappy/depressed/stroppy about it..

was I talking about the general population with I was talking about MY dh food issues!

He clearly thinks a meal is not a "proper" meal if it does not have a some sort of dead animal of some sort, so Yes he has issues, which I would call psychological!

I was not referring to your DW, and was not making it personal about any tom dick and harry, I was very clearly and evidently talking about MY DH

Yes, and it was an example, there's no reason to suggest your dh has any kind of issue because he feels the need to eat meat with each meal, my point is, that if that's what he's been brought up to accept as a proper meal then basically without meat he wont feel like it is a proper meal, its not an issue, it's just upbringing/culture/etc

What we often do (learnt from my granny's Spanish peasant cooking) is to put a very small amount of cut up chorizo or bacon into a bean or lentil casserole. To all intents and purposes, it's a meat-free meal, but psychologically it's got meat in and is therefore official a Proper Meal.

DH's family herald from Ireland and his mother wouldn't believe a meal was a meal without meat and two veg. However we often have veggie meals, at least twice a week, and he has got over it.

No offence I tended to any Irish folk. It was hisvomment and he is Irish!