to want to let my 5 year old use a mirror whilst brushing his teeth?

[Onestonetogo]

My (ex) DH claims our DS shouldn't use a mirror while brushing his teeth. I say the oposite, as a 5 year old is not aware of his body (incl the inside of his mouth) like adults are. He needs to see what he's doing with his brush, in order to learn to reach all of the teeth.
Had a big row over this with ex DH, as he says once he's told our DS he's not allowed to use the mirror, I should've gone along with it and not interfered. BUT I strongly object to DS not being allowed to use a mirror.

So, AIBU?

What are the reasons for not using a mirror whilst brushing your teeth? Am I missing something here?

I use a mirror... What's wrong with it?

YANBU. What reason has your ex given for banning the mirror? Weird thing to do IMO.

Thats one of the most ridiculous reasons for an argument that I have ever heard.

That's exactly my point, I don't see why not. The mirror is above the basin, DS needs a stool to reach the mirror (which we have got) or, alternatively, we can place the portable mirror on the bath edge, so he can see himself. My Ex DH claims it's unnecessary, and he should brush his teeth without having to see himself.

Btw my Ex DH uses a mirror when brushing his teeth!

does your ex DH live with you and your ds? Assuming not why is this even a discussion????

Chasingsquirrels, yes he does.

ah ok, I assumed an ex wouldn't.

YANBU, it is an insane thing to argue about.

I know, it's sad to see DS asking me to brush his teeth as he can't see, then his dad telling him to do it and refusing him a mirror when DS asks for it!

And EX DH now claims that because he's told him he can't use the mirror, we both have to follow this strict "no-mirror-policy" with DS.

I suppose it's just a small symptom of why our marriage broke down, we never agreed on how to bring up our DC, and DH's temper made me always feel like I was threading on eggshells.

I might show him this thread.

From what you have written he is being an utter utter arse.

IT DOESN'T MATTER if ds uses a mirror (it's not like crack cocaine is it) and ds wants to.

AND if your ds is encouraged to brush his teeth properly he is less likely to need filings and to have better oral health.
WHY would ANYONE be against that.

I was about to say 'his house - his bloody stupid rules, 'your house, your rules' but as you are still sharing a house - that's not so easy!!

Tell him that you are quite willing to back him up on this - if he can find some concrete evidence that this is doing DS some harm - if not, to stop being such a stupid idiot.

How long have you been living under the same roof but not been together - I can imagine that bringing up a child under these conditions would be 7 kinds of hell....

he sounds controlling
why are you still living with him?

What a wanker, use a mirror fgs ignore the ignorant b"$%&d

Show him this thread. He is an idiot. Of course a 5 year old (or any age for that matter!) can use a mirror to brush their teeth if they want to. Do you read this ex-DH? You are being a controlling tosser, don't be so unkind to your little boy.

How bizarre.

That rule is utterly random and arbitrary IMO.

YANBU, I'm nearly 21 and hate cleaning my teeth without a mirror.
:/

What a twat!!!! He is being utterly controlling...why on earth do you live with him?

It is about a lot more than toothbrushing and mirrors, isn'tit?

I like to use a mirror while brushing my teeth. Like you say- if there was any reason given, maybe you could discuss it and come to an agreement.

SOunds as though he has a real issue about control.

how bizarre. is this the only thing he is such an arse about? what an odd thing to get so worked up about. and now it is a big "thing" in your household when it should be the most minor of irritations to your twunty exH to see your ds looking in a mirror to clean his teeth, and you have to argue about it and and and ... has he just made it into an argument for the sake of having an argument / seeking control do you think? because it cannot really be about the principle of teethbrushing and mirrors, now can it?

Your ex is clearly picking an argument for the sake of it. Tosser. Not fair to take out his anger on a little boy.

It could be worse... when ds was little, I found him using the mirror to check he'd wiped his bottom properly. Was quite impressed with his reasoning!

My dentist told me that a good way of checking you're doing a good job of brushing your teeth is that the mirror needs cleaning afterwards.

So... how about asking your son's dentist or hygienist for their official recommendation as professionals caring for his teeth.

As a dental nurse, you ex is certainly misinformed. I'd highly recommend any one to use a mirror. how else can you see and check if youve done a good job? disclosing tablets are a good idea every now and again.

Thanks everyone! Yes, he is a controlling and bad tempered individual... his impossible personality is why we're separated. I won't go into the details of our disastrous marriage as it's upsetting.
This evening we were getting DC ready for bed; I was doing DS1 (5); when I handed him his toothbrush he looked lost for a second, until I held up a small make-up mirror. I'm kind of working my way up towards a "proper" mirror, without being too confrontational with that twat.
aendr, this morning I suggested to him to ring his dentist and ask if they thought a child should or shouldn't use a mirror (I was 100% sure any dentist woud say yes!), but of course he thought it was a silly idea.