to have had cyber sex with a stranger last night...whilst married

[corrupted]

I know I am - mitigating factors, DH and I not had sex for 18 months - I was climbing the walls

YANBU.
I am quite old and I have seen a couple of my friends go through this in their 30s - partners saying that they can't perform because they want to find themselves or love them but don't fancy them, etc.... You MUST MUST MUST see someone about this - Relate??

Your self esteem is being eroded. Do something!!

This book is also good

We had similar issues for about 15 months because of mild depression (his) and mismatched libidos (mine higher than his). It is just awful, you have my sympathy. It's especially hard to be a woman with a higher libido than a male partner, as all you ever hear about is the other way round, but the book deals with that very sensitively too. There's a section for you each to read.

Am now 11 wks pg so it worked for us

have been thinking about this thread, there is more to this than just mismatched libidos no? he basically lets you run the show and does nothing, but wallow? Its tough and you have every sympathy. I have seen women stay with men like this for years. And its not happy, as with or wohtout the woman, the men stay depressed. I know, I know we have marriage vows. I just urge you not to be a maryter, and put yourself first. and of some cyber nookie has made you question things, well good

Food for thought here most definitely. Thanks for the book reccommendation - I'll give it a look.

I don't feel like a martyr right now, I just feel guilty because I enjoyed the attention, the guy in question is trying to instigate a real life meet and although I won't do it, I have enjoyed being chased. Before I get flamed, have blocked him now and won't pursue it. But of course, all of this is indicative of wider problems that need to be addressed - and who knows how.