My DH loves technology etc and often has a want list, be it a car, phone, pc etc. If we have the money for something I'm happy for him to have whatever his heart desires. I'm crap though at choosing things with him or giving opinions as I never seem to want things. I'll get something out of need or to replace something broken but otherwise I just don't spend. My phone is about 6 yrs old, my wardrobe simple etc.
My DH likes to express love though by getting me things, which I see his logic as they make him happy he presumes it has the same effect on me. I think it's lovely-but I know I just don't get enthused enough on receipt ( I do try). Today he bought me an expensive present (Ipod touch) lovely idea and wonderful thought. I'll try to use it and not against it BUT I'd prefer he just bought things for him that are expensive as better use of money as makes him happy and I'm just not too fussed about owning stuff. If I do have a want it's small, and I'll say if I do need something big and am not worried to buy for myself (we share all money and he tries to make me treat myself more so no worry about taking from joint account if wanted to).
Would I be really ungrateful to say something along the lins of thank you for always offering/ buying for me but can you stop/ reduce it to very small things? Do you think this would be taken the wrong way or make him feel pressured to not buy for himself? I don't bregrudge him treating himself, but to be honest I'd rather money spent on me went in savings or on something someone else really wanted. Seems wasteful. Would I be really ungrateful to say this? I know he goes without what he wants to give me, which though lovely is unnecessary. I think he feels the need to balance out a bit what he spends on him my spending a similar share on me, as I don't despite encouragement want to spend. I think it's how I grew up. We both came from villages (me Russia, him Ukraine) and were poor. It had different affects on us though. I got used to going without, whereas he plays catch up trying to get everything he went without. For me we have more than we ever dreamed of having tuned up in the UK with nothing and I'm already a bit overwhelmed by what we've gained over the last 10 years. I still feel the urge to save, save, save and get everything as cheap as possible just in case.
P.S. I know this isn't one of lifes big worries and I'm lucky-but I'm just having difficulty judging the right response.