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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In Thinking That a Present for Me Was, Actually, For Me and not DH?

54 replies

14hourstillbedtime · 08/04/2010 22:14

MIL asked me (note: asked me!) if I would like a present for DC2's arrival. Very nice of her. No need to give present - second baby and all that. I said, yes, I would like a nappy bag that you can carry as a back pack (so I can put baby more easily in a sling) with lots of compartments to separate nappies, etc, inside. Lot of information, but MIL likes that - she actually prefers it if you send her an e-link to what you want, and then she can just buy that. Kills the joy of present-giving somewhat, IMO, but each to their own.

Got nappy bag last week - horrible bloke-style bag that even says 'Baby Sherpa' on it. Yeah, just what I wanted - to be reminded that with two kids I am not officially a pack horse! Got e-mail from her last week saying she was dithering between getting me a pink, silk bag or this one - and she opted for this one as 'DH will be able to carry it'.

NO! NO! NO! Present was all for ME, glorious ME! NOT DH!! I am a real girlie-girl (make up, jewelry, perfume every day, always) she KNOWS this! Pink, silk bag could have been mine! Now I have horrendo man-purse (even DH agrees its taking 'practical style' to a whole new level of ghastliness....)

I know, BTW, that I AM being unreasonable - it's a present, fgs, and I can always just not use it. But I wanted (sob!) something Just. For. Me (plus, I think pink silk would look good covered in baby poo, no?)

OP posts:
SusieCarmichael · 08/04/2010 22:17

there there dear, the pink silk would have been ruined in weeks, silk stains....... BADLY!

thing practical

stealthsquiggle · 08/04/2010 22:18

LOL at the sheer (but entirely understandable and justifiable) unreasonability of this.

Can you persuade DH to ask her if you/she can change it for the massively impractical pink silk one? Maybe say you already have a bag which he is OK with or something? Her heart was clearly in the right place and I am sure she would actually rather get it properly right.

SusieCarmichael · 08/04/2010 22:18

'think' obviously

she has actually saved you from carrying a grotty looking bag around

fluffles · 08/04/2010 22:20

give this one to DH to use when he's on child duty and get DH to buy you the lovely pink silky one

saslou · 08/04/2010 22:21

You did say that it kills the joy of present giving if you have to detail exactly what you want. MIL makes decision herself and you are not happy, so yes yabu.
That said, I would want pink, silk bag too and think you shoud buy it anyway and let dh use the other one. Fwiw I like my own gifts and I like gifts bought for dh to be for me too as well

TheButterflyEffect · 08/04/2010 22:21

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TheCrackFox · 08/04/2010 22:21

You get a present for a second baby?

fulltimeworkingmum · 08/04/2010 22:22

Delivery of placenta allows you to regain positive, rational thought.
Throw the ghastly thing away and flash your credit card....

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 08/04/2010 22:23

Maybe she meant it for DC2, rather than for you?

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 08/04/2010 22:29

Placenta will never be delivered, fulltimeworkingmum, cos this baby is never coming out - very happy in here in Hotel Uterus with constant food/entertainment, etc - can't say I blame her, sounds like ideal environment to me....

I know, I know, I AM being unreasonable... I'm just terrified at the encroaching end of Life As I Know it, turning into 24/7 boob tube (have DS already, so remember this part....). Mostly have wild urge to go out boozing it up like that crazy, pregnant woman in one of the Sex and the City episodes (OK, not really - would just like glimmer of old life back...)

saslou - I agree, I like DH presents to be for me, too (wine, anyone?)

OP posts:
maryz · 08/04/2010 22:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stealthsquiggle · 08/04/2010 22:32

We know it's silly, you know it's silly, but you need that pink bag - and MIL would probably be upset to know you are upset.

Get DH to call her while he can still blame pre-natal hormones and swap it. You are very pregnant - you can make whatever unreasonable demands you like - make the most of it.

saslou · 08/04/2010 22:33

would love wine. Have already started on the Baileys, seeing as it was half price in the supermarket last week!

gtamom · 09/04/2010 10:10

www.babysherpa.com/camobabysherpadiaperbackpack.html
Like these?
Next time give her a link!

FioFio · 09/04/2010 10:12

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FioFio · 09/04/2010 10:13

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GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 10:25

I quite like it too!

My sis and her DH are having a very similar argument at the moment. She is a girly girl and wants a completely impractical pink Yummy Mummy change bag with cupcakes on - he is saying he will refuse to carry it if she buys one.

As a Mum of 2 myself, I'm siding with her DH. I wanted a lovely girly bag this time, (especially as I had a girl!) but all the reviews said it was tiny inside

If I have to have a huge great black (but lovely Skip Hop Via) change bag and look like a pack horse, then so does she!

lucky1979 · 09/04/2010 13:34

goldensnitch - I have the yummy mummy bag from John Lewis with bows and cupcakes on it and it's brilliant with lots of pockets, cute changing mat and dirty nappy bag and loads of room so, if that is the one she's after, then you should side with your sis and if not, show it to her as an alternative! And her DH won't have to carry it much anyway, it will just go under the pram.

GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 13:44

You ought to write a review on here the lucky as the ones that are there already say it's bulky and small inside!!

Her DH will refuse to carry it at all if she gets the pink one and to be fair she does have far too many pretty pink bags already. He just wants a baby bag for them both to use.

notso · 09/04/2010 13:53

You did ask for a rucksack bag with lot's of pockets.
Get DH to buy you a nice hand bag, then he can be stuck with the practical yet fugly sherpa and you can skip merrily along side him with a beautiful handbag.

TheFirstLady · 09/04/2010 13:53

Count yourself lucky - my MIL gave me a present "just for you" after DD" arrived. I was touched until I opened it - to find a multipack of plain white bibs.

notso · 09/04/2010 13:55

Sorry but rofl at TheFirstLady, what did you say to her?

MorrisZapp · 09/04/2010 13:56

I'm sure you are a genuinely lovely person, but your OP makes you sound like the most insanely, bonkersly and indeed madly spoiled person who ever lived.

Which I'm sure you aren't at all really!

fuzzywuzzy · 09/04/2010 13:57

can you not just return it and get something you would like instead? Tell retailer it was a gift and not suitable!

CappuccinoCarrie · 09/04/2010 14:12

YABU in that MIL got you exactly what you asked for, in fact there probably isn't a better bag on the market for the requirements list you gave her.
However, as a change bag addict myself, I understand the importance of the right bag. I have more change bags than I have children! Currently i'm loving the skip hop as I can hang it off the buggy and not have to carry a bag at all. I would love one of those ones that looks like a gorgeous handbag though, but happens to be a multi-pocketed highly functional anti-bacterial change bag. DH would never carry it though!
So I would say YANBU for realising that there's more than one niche of change bag in the world, and if you get the pink one, then on the occassions that you and DH take out one kid each to different places, then you have a bag each!