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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In Thinking That a Present for Me Was, Actually, For Me and not DH?

54 replies

14hourstillbedtime · 08/04/2010 22:14

MIL asked me (note: asked me!) if I would like a present for DC2's arrival. Very nice of her. No need to give present - second baby and all that. I said, yes, I would like a nappy bag that you can carry as a back pack (so I can put baby more easily in a sling) with lots of compartments to separate nappies, etc, inside. Lot of information, but MIL likes that - she actually prefers it if you send her an e-link to what you want, and then she can just buy that. Kills the joy of present-giving somewhat, IMO, but each to their own.

Got nappy bag last week - horrible bloke-style bag that even says 'Baby Sherpa' on it. Yeah, just what I wanted - to be reminded that with two kids I am not officially a pack horse! Got e-mail from her last week saying she was dithering between getting me a pink, silk bag or this one - and she opted for this one as 'DH will be able to carry it'.

NO! NO! NO! Present was all for ME, glorious ME! NOT DH!! I am a real girlie-girl (make up, jewelry, perfume every day, always) she KNOWS this! Pink, silk bag could have been mine! Now I have horrendo man-purse (even DH agrees its taking 'practical style' to a whole new level of ghastliness....)

I know, BTW, that I AM being unreasonable - it's a present, fgs, and I can always just not use it. But I wanted (sob!) something Just. For. Me (plus, I think pink silk would look good covered in baby poo, no?)

OP posts:
tortoiseonthehalfshell · 09/04/2010 14:14

You know, my present from workmates when going on mat leave was a nice posh Oroton nappy bag in plain black so DH could use it too, very practical.

Half the time, I just use my big carpetbag style handbag and chuck a couple of nappies and some wipes in that.

So if I had to do it all again I'd not bother with a nappy bag at all! Can't get more girly than that.

GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 14:55

I have this one in black. I lurve it.

Skip Hop do backpacs too...

CappuccinoCarrie · 09/04/2010 14:59

goldensnitch that's the exact one I have in brown, and the red trim matches our buggy . I spent all my christmas money it, its for me not the kids!

I love this one although I prefer it in brown.

Sorry we're really not helping are we?!

Sparkletastic · 09/04/2010 15:00

That Sherpa bag is minging - I had a Skip Hop Messenger bag in denim - sufficiently funky for me but not so girly as to 'prevent' DH from carrying it.

radiohelen · 09/04/2010 15:01

I suggest full on tantrum. Make sure DH is witness to it and start shreiking. It's NOT FAIR that you get a present that can be shared with DH... They are rubbish at sharing their things (ever tried to get hold of the remote control?) and a utilitarian item - that's not a present that's like giving white goods.
I suggest flinging the bag on the floor followed by an uncontrollable fit of hysterical weeping. Sob yourself to sleep. Then in the morning order the pink silk.. and a pair of shoes to make you feel better.

GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 15:19

Carrie - the black bag with it's little red and white tag matches my new, black P&T Sport (with it's little red and white tag) perfectly {grin]

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 09/04/2010 17:23

gtamom - yup, that's the one

MorrisZapp - I am not genuinely lovely person, I am horrible spoiled cow My OP was slightly tongue in cheek... Seriously, though, I think I'm just ready not to be Pregnant in Charge of a Toddler, though I know having a newborn is 10 x worse....

CappucinoCarrie - you are indeed right, she got me one that met all the requirements! I just don't like it!!

Everyone Else - the skip hop bag is perfect - why, why, why didn't I think of that and just send her an e-link, like I always do? Bingo - she would have been happy, I would have been happy. Perfect.

radiohelen - love it, love it, love it, though may have reached my tantrum quota this week about our broken down fridge freezer, which is actually much more worrying than my bag dilemma, but boring, boring story....

I think my main problem is that, despite girliness I am also a committed minimalist, and only ever have one bag. Seriously. So I have one handbag for day and one for night going out. And one nappy bag at mo for DS. And that's really it! (DS also has one toy box, one book shelf, I have really small wardrobe, am constantly purging, you get the drift...) So I wanted ONE bag for the two DC.

However, with two, are my minimalist days over?! Don't answer that....

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/04/2010 17:32

It is not my cup of tea I must say!

I have a chocolate coloured Storksak which I love, although after almost 2 years of use it is looking a bit battered so I will definitely get a new bag when we have DC2.

The pink silk would have been horrendous I think, but why not just buy yourself a new changing bag and give that one to DH? My DH has his own changing bag that he uses when he goes out with DS - saves us getting in a row about me picking mine

VoilaAnotherGimlet · 09/04/2010 17:35

Maybe she was trying to be nice by suggesting that Dh would be doing the pack-horsing?

AmazingBouncingFerret · 09/04/2010 17:42

I make do with that dodgy freebie one from boots

I want one of those hop skippy things now.

GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 19:57

Skip Hop do a back pack too here

They're expensive but they're worth it

And they're at least £10 cheaper than the Yummy Mummy one and mine has 18 pockets!!!

ClaireyFairy82 · 09/04/2010 20:11

Why dont you put the baby in the back and buy yourself a lovely pink silk sling to keep your own things in. Much better

2rebecca · 09/04/2010 21:00

Am amazed any female over 10 wants anything pink.

GeekOfTheWeek · 09/04/2010 21:07

I have a yummy mummy bag and I manage to fit everything in it okay.

Sympathies to the op, the bag although functional, is really not attractive. Looks like something a gap year student might like.

Saw skip hop bags in tkmaxx yesterday for 14.99

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 09/04/2010 21:33

2rebecca - I don't necessarily want anything pink, I just don't want anything that screams pack horse (come on, people - baby sherpa!)

As GeekOfTheWeek points out - I am not a gap year student (god, far from it....)

Skip hop bags, I love you.... really, £14.99??

But seriously, how delusional am I - with two kids under three, I definitely have to take off those high heels when I go to the park, wont' I? (joke, joke....)

OP posts:
GoldenSnitch · 09/04/2010 21:36

If that's true, it's a bargain. I searched everywhere for mine and finally managed to get it for about £55

Majestic · 09/04/2010 21:41

OMG at a Baby Sherpa bag - ultimate in manbag surely?! Can you not tell her the truth and get her to exchange? Is it not That Sort Of Relationship?

Ukelegirl · 09/04/2010 21:51

14hours - YADNBU
I have a couple of backpacks myself, for walking etc
But your MIL choice of bag is indeed horrible!!!
Even I, as a life long non girly girl now have a proper grown up handbag

Original poster
14hourstillbedtime · 09/04/2010 22:40

Majestic - Not That Sort of Relationship - have already sent oleaginous thank you letter, in any event, so no taking it back now!

MIL is always trying to convert me to the Dark Side of no-make-up wearing (ever, really - like, ever - not to our wedding, nothing) and no-dress-wearing ever. I'm not Jessica Simpson (hardly...) and the Whole Morning Routine takes me 25 minutes from poo to make up but I do like people to at least me able to differentiate me from a man... What can I say? We are different people....

And Ukelegirl thank you for the vote of confidence! If non girly girl thinks tis horrible, then, well, tis horrible indeed

OP posts:
GeekOfTheWeek · 09/04/2010 23:32

They had the blue camo and green camo in the duo and i'm sure there was a black one too. All reduced from 19.99 to 14.99. There were quite a few in stock at my local store.

I love my ym bag though and am getting another for the summer

jasper · 09/04/2010 23:42

You crazy unreasonable mummy!

we understand.
But you KNOW YABU

princessparty · 10/04/2010 00:26

How old are you ?
Those yummy mummy bags look like they are meant for 7YO girls.Wouldn't be seen dead with one.
Your poor MIL can't do right for doing wrong !Threads like this make me dread any future DILs I might acquire!

GeekOfTheWeek · 10/04/2010 00:42

Each to their own.

Don't think the op has said anything untoward her mil at all.

chipmonkey · 10/04/2010 00:55

Actually, the Sherpa bag looks really practical and I love the big insulated bit at the bottom which will hold several lovingly-prepared containers of home-made baby food and a few organic yoghurts.

However, I have this

mummytotwins · 10/04/2010 01:07

eeek! I think that Bbay Sherpa back pack would have made me cry were I given it!!!!

I would use all my weepy/stroppy tantrum throwing pregnancy hormones to convince my husband that I NEEDED a nice feminine looking change bag and not a back pack that half the local university students were carrying and that he can use the backpack and it can also be used if you visit your MIL.