To be angry about this? Quizzed by police.

[wolfnipplechips]

I was flying over long weekend by myself with my 2 dc aged 5 and 2 to see my Mum in Ireland. At security I was stopped by 2 police men who asked for our passports, fair enough. They then asked me why I had a different surname to the dc, I was sort of taken aback and answered i had kept my maiden name, all of this in front of dd.

One of the policemen then started quizing 5yo dd asking her what she called me dd is shy and was confused by his question so she just sort of grinned at me despite the fact he could see she was shy he persisted with quite a heavy hand. After what felt like an age she answered mum and then just when i thought he'd finished and was flicking through my passport he suddenly said "who is wolfnipple chip" like he was poirot or something and was onto a winner, i said excuse me? and he said it says here in the back of the childs passport in case of an emergency contact wolfnipplechip, i just said you'll see if you look in my passport there that your holding, I am wolfnipplechip.

Now this annoyed me but fair enough if it stops people kidnapping kids etc however on my way back into the country i was once again stopped by tweedle dee and tweedle dum who again wanted our passports. he Then wanted to know where the dc's father was and why he wasn't travelling with us . Now i wasn't aware that one needed permission to take ones own dc on holiday without their father present. I am also that he quizzed me about my surname in front of my dd. In this day and age there are a million reasons why my surname is different from there's. I understand that they have a job to do but a bit of tact here people. AIBU to complain.

"I think the issue was more that i was travelling without their father but as someone who was brought up by just mt dm i find that really irritating. "

I can see why your upset and irritated but many mothers or fathers kidnap their own children. And by that I mean taking children out of the country (for good) without the permission of the other parent. Only a fraction of these actually make the news and it can be very hard to get the child bck. I'm glad that this is in place and will happily oblige as I can. Although I am also pretty sure that should it take as long as yours sounded and be so abrupt and rude, I'd still be a little pissed. They should definitely have some bloody tact training.

"even if you were taking them without their fathers permission they still shouldn't be taken from you"

What? This comment of yours is very off tbh. What if your dh (after separation or because he doesn't want to be with you anymore) just ups and takes the dc's out of the country. You would be frantic with worry, wondering whether or not you would ever be able to see them again. Just because you are the mother doesn't automatically give you more rights.

"They both had passports with chips in"

These can still be forged.

A friend of mine has a dd whose father has never wanted contact and never even seen her however, she was told she still needed his permission to get in and out of a country. She had to get a solicitors note.

You miss understood me damn with regard to being seperated from their mum, whilst assertaining whether the children had been kidnapped or not titchys kids should not have been seperated from her for 7 hours. Whats wrong with them staying with a familiar parent until they are returned to the other after all its the children that are being punished by being taken away and left with strangers. That is what would make me cross.

With regards to the chips yesterday i went in and bought a new birth cert for my dd for £9 without any need for id. Surely the chips are as reliable than me carrying around her birth cert.

Oh sorry, I thought you were saying, that you should still be able to travel on without father's permission. I take it back, you made a good point! I can understand them being separated for a short time if they were trying to ascertain whether or not you were the parent or not but that is out of order and for 7 hours.

I honestly don't know what they've bought the cards in for. I've yet to find out what information is carried around on the cards even though we have 3 in our household. They should just put your fingerprints on it and be done.

we applied for a passport in ds name earlier this year ..dp and I are not marrried. Dp signed the application form

Passport office came back and asked for written permission for me to issue passport

We travelled with chipped passport no problem.. I am guessing the permission is on the chip.

With regard to the chips in passports, they carry the biometric details ie the place of eyes ears etc on the face. They also contain the details on the personal page so wouldnt have any details of your mother father etc. I think this is a missed opportunity

biometric passports

Can I just asked, why would a child travelling with 2 adults not be stopped? That they were the parents would surely be a dangerous assumption.

This happened to me too OP.

DDs passport had my maiden name on. They did the same, quized her, spoke at me not to me like I was a piece of shite. I felt so embarrased and shocked!

I can understand that they have to check but do they have to be nasty about it??????

YANBU to be cross at the way they dealt with it, not at all.

I, for one, am very glad that they are starting to take the very real threat of cross border child abduction more seriously.

This has been on the cards since I worked for the HO in the early 90s. Immigration officers have always been told to look more carefully at children travelling with only one parent. I think now, (obviously am out of loop so don't know for sure) they are starting to make it more official. There have been other threads recently about one parent travelling with children and having to take permission docs etc.

All well and good IMO, as long as the officials maintain a bit of humility and humanity while they do their job.

(the recent Casualty story where yer man Sean took his children to Dubai or wherever with their mother screaming and wailing at the departure gate was so farcical as it just would not have been allowed to happen in real life. The officials would at least have asked her what her objections were)

I don't understand why you consider your surname to be a sensitive issue requiring tact.

It's your surname, not a dirty secret surely.

I think it's just a sad reflection of the times we live in (she says, sounding like a DM reader!). I have the same surname as my DCs but still get the 'How old is she?' etc questions at security if I travel alone with them - certainly more questioning than if DH there as well.

But why just target parents travelling alone?

So a mother running off to another country with her DCs without telling their father but with her new lover in tow would not be stopped? Doesn't make sense as if the people guilty of such things get wind, it is very easy to arrange to travel with someone else to avoid being stopped.